


The Lark's Awakening

by ForestFairy



Series: The Song of the Sky Lark [3]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Gale, Pre-Catching Fire, Sexual Content, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:22:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 70,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3114698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestFairy/pseuds/ForestFairy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peeta Mellark's blond, wavy locks look unruly, snowflakes caught in his long eyelashes. His expression is one of shock, of a deer realizing it's not alone, a predator is near. His lips are slightly blueish from the cold, wet and swollen from kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Long Author's notes are not my thing, I don't like to spoil my story, but it seems a bit of a warning must take place. Read the tags. And then...
> 
> READ THIS: 
> 
> The Lark's Awakening is a part of a series, The Song of the Sky Lark, focusing on Peeta Mellark in relationships that are **not** canon, in a canon setting.
> 
> If you're not into non-canon pairings, and if malexmale plus explicit content and dirty talk is making you uncomfortable, **stop** reading.  
>  Also if you're anti-Katniss, can't stand a girl in your M/M fic, **stop** reading. She is important and this will end up in a threesome. 
> 
> If you dislike Gale, this is not the story for you either, as it is written entirely from Gale's POV. 
> 
> The Lark's Awakening's focuses on the relationship between Gale and Peeta. Yes, there will be Everlark. There will be Everthorne. But all in all, the majority of this fic is about Hawlark. Cannot handle that? Understandable, I also dislike certain pairings, plots or characters. The good thing is, there are gazillions of great stories on this site. Do yourself a favor and read one of them. 'Kay?
> 
> ........
> 
> Still here? You're a tough cookie, respect!
> 
> Now that we're all cozy and alone, snuggle closer and listen to me telling you, in my most Effie-ish voice: 
> 
> Welcome, welcome to those who remain. I'm glad you want to read something different and are not afraid of the pairing. Have fun!

* * *

 

 

The slag heap is actually a pretty depressing place. Even the name is depressing. The debris of the mining production is collected here, assembled in huge hills of dark, foul slime. It is more than nasty. Smelly, uncomfortable, definitely not a cozy place to linger. Freezing in winter, scorchingly hot in summer.

 

* * *

  
  
Most couples that frequented the heap were teenagers, still in school. Their encounters were generally short. Boys found release quickly, their girls' bodies still inexperienced in terms of real pleasure. Most of them were obviously glad that the deed was done and their partners satisfied, judging by the way they used to shuffle back home.  
  
Gale Hawthorne had visited the slag heap for the first time when he had been thirteen years old, shortly after his father had died. That was early, even for a Seam boy. Most boys at that age still slept in their mother's bed. There was no way around that, for the poor Seam kids. Fortunately his mother slept with Posy and Vick in her bed, while he shared his with his brother Rory. It was hard to hide an erection, made touching yourself nearly impossible. Too many people in the same room, so if you felt the urge to scratch yourself, you had to do it somewhere else. Gale didn't masturbate much. There wasn't any need for that. Because the girls offered to do all the work anyway.  
  
At thirteen Namy Howers, a girl in his class, boldly stated that she wanted him to go to the slag heap with her. Namy was a cute girl, tip-tilted nose and curly black locks. And she had had a crush on him. They went, hand in hand, behind a smaller hill near the entrance where they did it standing tall, her skirt hiked up and his pants barely opened, because the ground was muddy and clothes were valuable. Her dark skin glowed from exhaustion when he took her, clumsy and inexperienced. She didn't have much fun, bled even. It had been her first time as it had been his, and she cried a little. Gale tried his best to be gentle with her and promised to be with her as her boyfriend, so she had been happy. They went again. And again.

A few weeks later another girl who was two classes above him asked if he was interested to go with her.

Laika Carrowshead was experienced and her tits were bigger than Namy's. So Gale thought, why not? He definitely enjoyed her better than Namy, because Laika knew what she was doing. She actually taught him how to get a girl off, how to make her explode with his tongue and how to hit all those right places. When Namy found out that he had been to the slag heap with Laika she had been hurt, and he felt bad.

But not so bad that he regretted it.

He actually took Namy once more. Much later, when they were sixteen and her brother had been reaped. He felt anger and hate, wanted to soothe her hurt, so he had brought her multiple climaxes that night.  
  
Laika had married some coal miner shortly after his seventeenth birthday.  
  
Namy got a new boyfriend after claiming that Gale was emotionally crippled, cold to her. That wasn't true, he thought, he was _not_ cold. He just wasn't interested in these girls beyond their physical charms. They were boring.  
  
Yes, Gale Hawthorne had been to the slag heap countless times before the summer of the 74th Hunger Games and his last ever reaping. Mostly in summer, with Seam girls from the neighborhood.

Dark skinned and slim as himself, Gale had clear preferences. Not that there were many choices. Town girls rarely went to the slag heap and even if they wanted him, he wouldn't touch them.

He sometimes wondered if the nipples of the mayor's daughter were as pink as her lips. How Madge Undersee would look if she were lying naked in the mud at one of the heaps, but that was almost an afterthought. He never seriously considered asking her to go.  
  
The only blonde Seam girl with the Town look was Primrose Everdeen and she was a child, and he loved her like a sister. Her actual sister was another story altogether.

He didn't think of Katniss Everdeen as a sexual being, a woman, until one of the peacekeepers, Darius, flirted with her at the Hob. A possessive urge went over him then.

Katniss Everdeen was his. His girl. He would never allow a dirty peacekeeper to put his hands on her. He liked Darius, but he wouldn't hold back when it came to Katniss. From the moment this thought of possessiveness overcame Gale he started to imagine Katniss coming to the slag heap with him. Which brought forth an erection every time, without fail.  
  
He sought out Becca Elmskard, his latest conquest, brought her to the slag heap and fucked her hard, while imagining Katniss beneath his shuddering body. He never came so violently before.

It was not long after that, that he realized that Katniss was different. He didn't want to destroy their friendship. Because Katniss was his best friend. He was insanely attracted to her, but most importantly she was his hunting partner, a girl he actually thought of as an equal. A partner that would one day make a good wife to him.

He would start working at the mines only two days after reaping day. School would be out forever, and the days with Katniss in the woods would come to an end, become a nice, but distant memory. He would only be able to hunt on Sundays, which would restrict their short time together even further.

So Gale planned a big confession. If he survived his last reaping he would ask Katniss out. His mother, Hazelle, liked Katniss. She wouldn't mind if he brought her home with him. She definitely wouldn't mind if Katniss became her daughter in law.

No, Gale Hawthorne would never bring Katniss Everdeen to the slag heap, he knew. When he imagined them making love it always happened at some beautiful clearing in the woods and not in the cold muds in the defines of District 12. But....  
  
Everything would turn out differently.


	2. At the slag heap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Gale meet at an unlikely place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts after The Hunger Games but before Catching Fire, during the six months when Katniss and Peeta ignore each other, but she and Gale meet.

The ground is frozen and the first snowflakes of the year are slowly sailing down on District 12, creating little hats on the slag hills.

Becca didn't want to go today, it's late, she told him, she feels tired, so much work at the cleaners tomorrow. He is annoyed that she denied him, but honestly, he can't blame her much. Everyone knows he is in love with Katniss, even Becca. They all pity him and throw him meaningful looks when they talk about the victors. The star-crossed lovers of District 12. He's not her cousin. He's not. He met Laika Carrowshead on the way back to his house and they talked for a while.

"Gale," she had said softly. "My husband is down at the Hob. Dead drunk. Do you want some company? For old times sake?"

  
"Yeah, Laika, yeah," he murmured and took her hands guiding her over to their hill near to the unofficial entrance, a hole, ripped into the fence.

* * *

 

He nuzzles her hair and breathes in her scent and for a few minutes he forgets that he hates this life and that he hates the Capitol and most of all hates himself for letting his girl get out of his grasp, for not confessing his love to her sooner.  
  
He stares at the snowy sky above him as Laika rides him to completion and he finally comes with a silent groan, feeling nothing but an uncomfortable emptiness. Laika rearranges her dress as quickly as she can, then stands up slowly. She is shivering and he watches as she offers him her hand, so thin and ghostly. He shakes his head, no.  
  
"Go ahead," he says. "Don't wanna raise suspicion, do we?"

He tries to sound funny, but somehow it sounds hollow and weak. Laika shrugs and disappears into the darkness of the night.  
  
Gale lights one of the cigarettes the foreman spread out a few days ago. Capitol cigarettes. For the victorious District 12. What a joke. He takes a deep drag, enjoying the tabacco aroma despite it all, when he hears a girlish giggle from behind the hill. It's fucking freezing out here, so who in their right state of mind would visit the deserted slag heap now?  
  
"You've never been here before?" a female voice says and Gale props himself up, prepares to leave, not interested in witnessing some kiddy couple fucking for the first time.  
  
"No," a male answers, with a voice he knows, a familiar voice. "Merchants usually don't come here."  
  
"Can't really believe that, handsome lad like you" the girl giggles, echoing Caesar Flickerman, that weird Capitol mc. "So….you and Katniss Everdeen haven't fucked?"  
  
A pause. Then after a while the male voice answers, "No, we haven't. She….no."  
  
Gale can't believe it. He crouches on the ground and peers around the hill. There is no mistaking it.  
  
It's him. Peeta Mellark. With a girl he doesn't recognize. She has dark hair, so she's probably from the Seam, but he can't make out much more in the darkness.  
  
"She's probably fucking Gale Hawthorne. Her _cousin_ , you know," the unknown girl muses, and Gale's heart skips a beat. The girl's voice is rude, mocking even. Everyone knows that Gale is not Katniss Everdeen's cousin. What the hell is this?  
  
"Yeah," he offers quietly. "She probably is."  
  
Gale feels his anger rising. Why is Mellark agreeing with this girl? Why is he even out here? What's his deal?  
  
"You know, I would have really preferred to do this in your house in the Victor's Village. More comfortable and most importantly warm."  
  
Mellark does not answer for a while and then says, "We had a deal, Mia." He moves closer and kisses the girl on the mouth.  
  
Gale remembers that name, Mia. She's a Seam girl in the same year as Katniss and Peeta Mellark, maybe in their class? Katniss doesn't talk to girls much, but for some reason he remembers this one as her and Katniss' hair is the same length. Mia… she even tried to ask him out one day. Katniss had been with him and looked sour, annoyed, when Mia touched his arm. But that might've been his imagination. Katniss doesn't like him that way. She likes Peeta Mellark. Who is making out with some slutty girl at the slag heap in the middle of a school night. Gale grits his teeth.  
  
Mia pushes Peeta away, breaking their kiss.  
  
"Yes, yess... _lover boy_. No need to get aggressive." She turns around and Gale gets a better look at her. She wears trousers and not a skirt, unusual for girls in District 12. Her hair is braided, lying over her shoulder. She's smaller than Katniss, her body all wrong. No, this girl is nothing like Katniss. So why?  
  
"The way you act, you seem pretty inexperienced to me. Almost like you're a virgin," Mia laughs and empathizes the word _virgin_ as if it is something dirty. Everything here feels wrong to Gale. It's dark but he can see that Peeta is flushing red. The blond merchant boy steps closer to Mia and grabs her shoulders.  
  
"Stop talking," he says and kisses her again, hard, his hands squeezing the girl's meager breasts.  
  
Suddenly it all makes sense to Gale. Mia is right about Peeta Mellark. He went to the slag heap tonight to get rid of his inexperience. To lose his innocence. With a girl that's not Katniss. He is recreating some scenario that obviously makes sense to him, but is false. More than false. Katniss' heart would break if she knew this. Gale fists the melted mud on the ground, feels the heat flare up within him.  
  
Peeta chose not do this in his house in the Victor's Village because he doesn't want Katniss to know. In reality, Gale's heart should sing with joy. He should let them fuck and tell Katniss all about what he witnessed here tonight. He doubts that she'll ever want to be with Mellark again, if she knows about this. But then he imagines the hurt on Katniss' face and knows he can't do it. It won't make Katniss magically love him, it'll only make her sad. And he doesn't want her to be sad. His Catnip. Already suffered so much.  
  
Peeta belongs to Katniss. He is hers. A sudden surge of possessiveness overcomes Gale. This feels familiar. Familiar to the day at the Hob, when Darius wanted to trade kisses with Katniss.  
  
This boy out there, he does belong to Katniss. His innocence belongs to Katniss. His love is for her and not for some sick, rude imitation. Gale springs to his feet, circles around the hill and runs over to them.  
  
He grabs Peeta by the shoulder and pushes him to the ground behind him, sees the baker's hand being ripped away from Mia's bared tits. The girl shrieks and covers herself with her skinny arms. "Are you crazy?" she screams, her voice high pitched.  
  
"Get lost, Mia," Gale growls. Her eyes flicker to Peeta, a questioning look in her hazel eyes. Even her eyes are wrong.

Mia buttons up her shirt reluctantly and then looks at Gale. "I had a deal with him." She cocks her head towards Peeta.  
  
"Whatever the deal, it's up. Now leave before I forget myself." Mia looks scared, and then angrily spits before Gale's feet, and starts shouting "You're all crazy anyway. Fuck you!" Then she turns and runs the same way Laika left a few minutes ago.  
  
Gale flies around and stares at the boy in the mud and weirdly enough the image of Madge Undersee comes to his mind. How he imagined that blonde town girl lying before him, offering herself to him. It makes his cock stir. Peeta Mellark's blond wavy hair looks unruly, snowflakes caught in his long eyelashes. His expression is one of shock, of a deer realizing it's not alone, a predator is near. His lips are slightly blueish from the cold, wet and swollen from kissing a fake Katniss. Gale growls again, a deep guttural sound, still fuming. Why does he feel so betrayed by Mellark's actions? Where does all this anger come from?  
  
Peeta slowly gains control of his limbs and gets up. His hands are fisted, Gale can clearly make out his white knuckles in the dark.  
  
"Why did you do that?" he asks, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"You have no business with this girl, Mellark," Gale's voice is still loaded, loaded with emotion. "You have no business at the slag heap at all, do you understand?"  
  
"Why do you care what I do, Hawthorne?" Peeta's voice is cutting.  
  
Why indeed.  
  
"You're not betraying Katniss with some slut at the heap, s' as simple as that," Gale tells him, knowing it's not simple at all. Peeta flushes red.  
  
"And what about you? Am I supposed to think you decided to take a walk and ended up here by chance? Because the night is so pretty and you love to watch the stunning snowy scenery of the slag heap?"  
  
Now it is Gale's turn to flush. There is some double standard working here, he knows. He doesn't want Peeta at the slag heap, but is an eager visitor of the place himself. Just a few moments ago he fucked Laika, a _married_ woman, and he doesn't feel like he's betraying Katniss. He never felt like he betrayed Katniss. It's unfair, he knows, deep inside, he _knows_. But Peeta, he shouldn't be here. Gale feels a bit of tension leaving his body.  
  
"Listen, Mell..Peeta. I'm not saying you're wrong about me. But…I've been here before. Before Katniss….and it's different for me. Katniss, she likes you. She would be hurt." The words sound weak, in a way. Like he has given up on her. On them ever being more than friends.  
  
Peeta obviously also feels confused at his words, shakes his head.  
  
"I'm not exactly sure why you need me to tell you this, but Katniss is not in love with me. She has made her choice long before we were even in the Games together. You….honestly, you have nothing to fear from me."  
  
He's frustrating, this blond town boy. Why can't he see that Katniss looks at Peeta differently, that Katniss' dark grey eyes become as soft as the pussy willows from the woods, when she talks about him. It would be cute, if it didn't hurt so much.  
  
"I would appreciate if you'd not interrupt my affairs again," Peeta continues, while Gale's anger returns. "This night… tonight was important to me. I needed that."  
  
Peeta turns around to leave, but Gale grabs his arm again, dragging him back beneath the heap until they are standing within a half a foots length of one another, Gale looking down at Peeta who is a head smaller, much smaller than him. The same height as his Catnip.  
  
"Promise me that you won't meet Mia, or any other girl for that matter, again," he demands, fascinated by the boy's long blond eyelashes.  
  
"Are you kidding me?," Peeta rolls his eyes at him. "I won't promise. It's none of your business what I do."  
  
Gale growls and squeezes Mellark's arm harder.

"Promise!" he almost shouts, the sound dampened by the snow. He knows he is going about this the wrong way, but he has no idea, what to do or what to say to make Peeta give up his plan. How can he? If Peeta decides to take a merchant girl to his house, he has no influence. He can't watch him all the time. But then Peeta Mellark doesn't seem to want a busty, blonde town girl in his fluffy bed. He wants the darkness of the Seam, at the dead of night at the slag heap.  
  
"No," Peeta says calmly, unaffected by Gale's outbursts, "Stop shouting at me. Are you really that dense? You won, okay? You're the one she wants. Do you think I would be here if I didn't believe that? So stop your holier than thou attitude and leave me be."  
  
Maybe Peeta got his heart broken by Katniss? Just as Gale had his heart broken. Could it be that Katniss rejected the baker's son? What he doesn't seem to get is that he was also rejected. Katniss didn't choose Gale, but he still has the pleasure of her company. They meet every Sunday. She told him she hadn't much contact with Peeta, but he didn't believe her.  
  
"What were you doing here tonight, Peeta?" Gale asks, still gripping the bakers wiry biceps.  
  
"Isn't it obvious? I wanted, no, I needed some relief. An escape from everything that's happened to me in the last months," Peeta's voice is tired, lost.  
  
"Do you have any idea how exhausting it is to live a lie? To pretend all the time? To look happy, when all you feel is sadness? I wanted something real for myself. Blame me if you want, but maybe, just maybe I am simply a human being, too. A man with needs."  
  
Gale nods. This much he can understand. He's doing the same thing, in a way. And he doesn't have to pretend, he is allowed to be angry, everyone is sympathetic to his feelings. Peeta's blue eyes stare up at him, and he feels himself melting at the boy's pain. But then, he still can't allow Peeta to fuck a girl that's not Katniss.  
  
He doesn't know why, but while Peeta and Mia having sex does feel like a betrayal, imagining Peeta and Katniss doing it, doesn't. Once the thought of Peeta and Katniss together enters Gale's consciousness he can't seem to get rid of it. It fits, the light blond of Peeta Mellark, his pale skin and muscly arms holding Katniss' thin dark form. They would kiss softly, sweetly and then it would get more passionate by the minute, with Peeta's strong hands massaging her little breasts, teasing her nipples. Her braid snaking down her bared back, caressing her skin. Little soft noises would leave her mouth and Peeta would answer with deep pants, her name on his lips.  
  
It's not wrong, it's right and if he can't be Katniss' first Peeta Mellark should be.  
  
"Is it true," Gale's voice is deeper now, more manly, "what Mia said?"  
  
Peeta seems to understand immediately what he is alluding to, by the way his cheeks glow. He looks away and nods.  
  
"What have you done so far?" Gale asks gently.  
  
"Kissed a few girls. And touched…them a bit," Peeta sighs.  "What you've seen me and Mia do was the farthest I got with a girl."  
  
He is surprised that Peeta answers at all, surprised at how openly he admits these things to him.  
  
"And with Katniss?" Gale moves closer, feeling Peeta's hot breath on his chest as he answers.  
  
"Only kissing," Peeta's voice quivers. "You've seen it on television. That was all."  
  
Gale believes him, and still feels the need to probe deeper.  
  
"You sure? Haven't seen her naked?"  
  
"No, no. Not naked." Peeta shakes his head. His breathing becomes faster, produces little clouds that meet Gale's nipples, and somehow the nubs begin to harden.  
  
Looking down he makes out a bulge, Peeta's pants appear a little tented. Is that because of Mia? But the girl left a while ago. Peeta is hard. And so is Gale. The fact alone should send him reeling away in repulsion, let the town boy make acquaintance with his fist, present him with a black eye. Never before did Gale get hard because of a boy. _'It's because of Catnip'_ , he muses, _'only because I envisioned him with Catnip.'_  
  
Instead of doing something violent, like every instinct is telling him to, he does something tender. Leans down and, for the first time in his life, kisses a boy on the lips.  
  
Peeta is smaller and leaning down to kiss is hauntingly familiar, he's done it a thousand times. It's freezing, but the boy's lips are balmy and soft. His scent is a warm scent, the scent of freshly baked bread and it makes Gale's stomach churn.  
  
And then they are kissing for real, and he's not thinking of Katniss at all, lost in the sensation of the kiss. By claiming Peeta's mouth, he is marking his territory. That's what it feels like. He only comes to his senses when Peeta embraces his midriff and starts to buck his hips against his leg, makes him feel his erection, a barely audible moan escaping his lips. His pants tighten in response and he pulls away, only to stare at Peeta who stares back, mind in turmoil. Big question marks seem to shine in Peeta's eyes, and what comes out of his mouth is asked so quietly that Gale almost doesn't catch it.  
  
"What are you doing?"    
  
He wants to answer  ' _Staking my claim_ ' but stops himself.  
  
Peeta looks confused, and young, oh so young. How must this look from his perspective? The baker's boy is quite innocent, and Gale remembers these days. The days when you get easily aroused, no way of controlling it, you can't help it, it just happens. It would be wrong to take advantage of that. Peeta came here tonight with a clear intention. He has never been with a girl, never got his nipples teased, never tasted the sweetness of a girl's pussy, got his cock sucked or felt that wonderful tight clenching when a girl comes undone during sex.  
  
"Listen," he starts, scared about what he is about to say, cock still begging for attention,  "You're not going to meet with a girl again. If you....if you feel needy, you will come to me."  
   
They are still embracing and he feels Peeta shudder and gaze into his eyes for a few seconds, open and vulnerable. "To you?"  
  
"To me," Gale concurs. " I will teach you what you need to know. Are we clear? No girls for you," Gale hesitates and then adds softly, "No girls, but Katniss."  
  
Peeta's eyes grow dark at that. "Katniss does not want me," he says, and there is no self-pity in his voice, only acceptance.  
  
"We'll see," Gale replies pushing a golden curl from the blond's forehead, while his other hand reaches towards Peeta's crotch. His hand gently cups Peeta's groin, strokes over it slowly, once, twice; until Peeta twitches, makes a sound that is a mixture between pleasure and pain, a sound so honest and pure it makes him pull his palm away as if torched.  
  
Gale takes a step backward, while Peeta instinctively surges his hip forward, searching for Gale's hand again.  
  
Gale is unsure about this plan of his, uncertain about the situation, bewildered by his body's reaction to another guy. He takes another step back and Peeta stops following, arms falling to his sides in a defeated motion. However then he sees Peeta reaching for him, opening his mouth, the lips forming his name "Gale" but he is panicking, overwhelmed at his own bravado. He can't stay at the heap a second longer. He turns around and runs away, to the hole in the fence and crawls right through it, scrambles up and dashes towards the direction of the Seam at the other end of the mining facilities. Running so fast he can barely breathe, painfully aware that he is still hard, only thinking about the things he has done at the slag heap since he was thirteen and about the thing he did for the first time on this cold winter night.

* * *

  
  
When Gale leaves Hazelle and his siblings to go to work the next morning his foremost emotion is relief. His mother treated him the same when she prepared the breakfast for his siblings. Hazelle has a habit of reading her son's emotions, can look right through him. He imagines she is capable of seeing that he did something shameful last night. When he arrived in their small hut, everyone was already deeply asleep. It was only a few minutes to midnight and they don't have running water in the house so a bath was out of the question. He barely was able to calm down and fell into an uneasy sleep. He left the house without having breakfast, knowing his growing brothers need it more than he does. He is used to going to work with a growling stomach.  
  
For the first time he welcomes it, the dark of the mines, the cold and wet, and the physical labor. It makes it easier to forget what happened at the slag heap. But then his thoughts always return to Peeta Mellark and the fact that he did kiss him. And he cannot blame the baker's boy, because he wasn't the one who initiated it, it was him, and he is scared. Scared of the offer he made to Peeta. Scared that Peeta will take him on it. Scared that he won't. He weighs the words carefully in his mind, the words he said to Peeta. It wasn't really an offer, he knows that. He practically ordered Peeta to come to him, forbid him to go the heap, and whoever Peeta Mellark is, he doesn't seem like someone who is that easily conquered. In the Games he ran with the careers to protect Katniss. Peeta always seemed to have a plan. It must have been the hormones, Gale decides. Peeta had been hot for Mia and he gave the boy an outlet.  
  
The days go on, like they always do and he doesn't see or hear a thing from Peeta Mellark. Sunday comes around and during their hunting he almost asks Katniss about Peeta, but is afraid of what she'll tell him. He insists on bringing her back to her house in the Victor's Village, and she seems glad. He told her before that he didn't want to be in a Capitol house and Katniss looked disappointed at his words. But he can't help it. He hates the Capitol with all his heart and can't stand the fact that his Catnip has a connection to this place. Her house in the Victor's Village only reinforces the fact to him, so he cannot go there. She offers him tea, but he shakes his head, no, and turns around to leave. There is a house directly opposite to Katniss'. It's the only one with a running chimney so he assumes it is Mellark's. The blinds are drawn though and he can't be sure. Gale wants to go and knock on the door, but decides against it. Katniss is watching from her kitchen window, giving him an unsure wave. What would she think if he knocks on Mellark's door?

  
He meets Becca on the way back, has a feeling she has been loitering around his house for a while. He rejects her advances if only because he has just spent his whole day with Catnip and doesn't want to taint that. When he opens the door to his family's house a familiar scent wafts into his nostrils. Bread.  
  
"Gale, Gale, look!" Vick is jumping up and down, pointing at the table. There is bread there, good hearty nut and raisin bread, two thick loaves. And cinnamon rolls, too. His siblings are ecstatic, Posy licking her thin little fingers, wet from the frosting while Rory chews on a roll. They never had cinnamon rolls before.  
  
"Peeta Mellark brought this over," Hazelle says and gives him a sharp look that makes him wince.  
  
"What did he want?" he asks, hoping to sound casual.  
  
"He didn't say," Hazelle answers. "But I think that he didn't get what he was looking for."  
  
"Mmhh," Gale says, not sure what to reply. She knows that Peeta had been looking for him, of course. Even if Peeta didn't say it. Hazelle doesn't touch the food, but allows her children to share it between them. Gale doesn't have the heart to ask her why. She doesn't think it's poisoned, but obviously has problems with the gift.  
  
Gale comes back from the mines two days later and finds his siblings munching away on apple pie. The day after that they are presented with a hearty dark onion bread, and when he returns from another 12 hour shift on Thursday, Hazelle is waiting for him on the porch, a basket with muffins in her arms.  
  
"This needs to stop, Gale," she says sharply before he can even greet her. "Whatever is going on, you have to talk to Peeta Mellark."

She looks troubled and he thinks he knows why. It's not pride, even though it plays some part in this. It's because Peeta might just simply stop bringing gifts the next day and her children won't understand why. They are already getting used to it, talking about the baked treats all the time, wondering what's next. He nods. It seems that a confrontation is in order.  
  
When he comes back from the mines on Friday he takes a short cold bath and dresses in his hunting clothes. Then he makes his way to the Victor's Village. Maybe he can enter Peeta's house from the back, so that Katniss won't see him.  
  
But he doesn't even get that far as he almost runs into Peeta at the edge of the Seam. They eye each other suspiciously and Gale suddenly feels the need to say something rude to the baker's son. Peeta's eyes twinkle, barely visible under the flickering streetlights. Then his face breaks into a gentle smile as he obviously tries to think of a good opening. He has a small bag in his arms, and Gale can smell the freshly made bread on him.  
  
"If you have something to say, come to me, Mellark," he growls. "Stop harassing my family."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. Peeta's face falls. Whatever he expected, this is obviously not it. He wants to apologize, but Peeta's expression hardens.  
  
"Fine," he replies coldly.  "I'm not bothering them again. Here is what I came to say. I'm agreeing to your terms."  
  
Gale feels a rush of fear and excitement from hearing these words, a shudder of anticipation runs straight through him. Peeta's blue eyes meet his and he continues, his manner all business.  
  
"I'm here because I want us to go to the slag heap. Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could it really be? Is Gale Hawthorne a closet….. Everlark shipper?


	3. In Peeta Mellark's house

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Gale get closer. Gale is conflicted by his feelings for the baker's son and his love for Katniss Everdeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers. Here, have another chapter of The Lark's Awakening. Thank you for your sweet comments, support and kudos. Please remember this story is M/M. Don't like, don't read!

The last men he has seen naked are miners. There are showers in the miners building, running water.  Cold, but after the grueling shifts every miner could clean themselves before going home. The shower lasted only a minute or so and there was no soap. These showers barely helped to wash the coal dust away, did not soothe or clean at all. Not that he had looked at the others. He didn't care about naked coal miners. He left those showers hours ago. Went back home and into bed with his siblings. Shortly before midnight he crept out of their little hut in the Seam. If his family would wake to find him gone, they'd probably assume he went to the slag heap with Becca or some other girl.  
  
To the slag heap he went.

For three weeks now, he went every night.  
  
But not with a girl.  
  
Peeta brought some blankets with him and is waiting beneath a little heap farther south, lighting some candles so Gale can find him in the dark. The kids usually don't come in this far, so Gale suggested this area and the late hour. Getting caught would be disastrous. For both of them.  
  
Peeta had been on the wrestling team, he told Gale about it and even showed him some moves. He has probably seen loads of naked guys, Gale assumes. He doesn't want to, but staring at Peeta Mellark's cock…it is natural that he begins to compare it to his own, right? And even though he hates the thought he feels a little smug that his cock is larger than Peeta's.

He grins to himself, but then falters. Peeta is younger maybe still growing? Did he stop growing at sixteen? He doesn't remember.  
  
And there is another thing that leaves him confused. The baker's sons groin is covered with very soft looking blond pubic hair. It looks kind of strange, though. Soft and sparse.  
  
"What happened to your pubes?" he asks and points to Peeta's groin. Suddenly he remembers the baker's middle boy…Art…, no, Ari Mellark. Peeta's older brother, who could have been Peeta's twin. Actually the Mellark brothers looked like triplets, and more than often people only knew who was who by their size. Ari Mellark had been in Gale's class and him he had seen naked in the school showers. He had bushy pubic hair, as far as he remembers.  
  
"Why?" Peeta likes to answer questions with counter questions. He doesn't really trust him completely, even though they spent so much time together now. Gale bites his lip. He wouldn't trust himself either.  
  
"They look weird, s'all," Gale grumbles.  
  
Peeta's eyes drift behind Gale's left ear and Gale thinks he won't answer. He probably insults Peeta with his words. Since they began with their little meetings he often feels like he is hurting him.  
  
However Peeta always returns. Tonight is the first night they planned to do more than talk and dry humping. If he wants to continue this, he probably shouldn't be so rude to the town boy, but he is honestly curious about it.  
  
"The Capitol is what happened to me, Gale," Peeta finally sighs.  
  
What is that supposed to imply? Peeta doesn't elaborate, so he probes again.  
  
"And that means?" he asks, impatient.  
  
Peeta always acts as if he's too stupid to understand. In that, he reminds him of Katniss and her Capitol stories. She talks to him like he is a ticking time bomb. Waiting to explode. Like he wouldn't understand, no matter what. She barely mentions it anymore, and changes topic as soon as he tries to ask more.  
  
"In the Capitol," Peeta says reluctantly, "The tributes get their body hair removed. Everywhere."  
  
Gale can't help but inspect Peeta's soft member, shriveled in the cold.  
  
"Seriously?" he asks, not understanding where the sense in that lies.  
  
"Yes," Peeta says. "And mine is growing back now, so sorry for lacking in that department. Wait a while and maybe you'll like it better in summer. By the way, my eyes are up here."  
  
Peeta is grinning now and he can't help but grin back. For a moment he even forgets that these are weird Capitol customs. Is curious about the whole procedure of hair removal and then he has a thought that goes straight to his groin.  
  
Katniss' pussy. Completely bare.  
  
"Peeta," he whispers now and moves closer. "What about Catnip? Did they remove her hair, too?"  
  
Before Peeta can even formulate some sort of answer he spits in his hand and takes Peeta's cock in his wet fist.  
  
"Oh," Peeta moans slowly, "Yes, yes…they did."  
  
The thought does him in. Katniss Everdeen without any hair between her legs. There would be no chance for modesty, no trace of the dark fur he always imagines she shares with the other Seam girls. He licks his lips. This is hot. Licking her sweet bared lips, slowly, steadily. The thought is almost enough to make him come on the spot.  
  
"Tell me about it," he whispers into Peeta's ear. But Peeta doesn't seem to understand.  
  
"I told you, I haven't actually…seen her..n..naked," he shudders and circles his hips to meet Gale's hand. Gale groans.  
  
"Who cares," he says deeply and presses small, wet kisses along Peeta's left earshell, up and down, while imagining Katniss' slit.  
  
"Important lesson for you. Sex mostly happens in your head. Ever heard of fantasies? What do you think of when you jerk off?"  
  
Peeta hesitates and then admits what Gale knew all along. "Kat..Katnissss…" he groans.  
  
"Yeah, that's right." Gale nods and continues his jerking motions. "But not only her beautiful eyes, am I right? Didn't you ever wonder what she looked like down there?"  
  
"All the time," Peeta pants and Gale grins. This is common ground for them.  
  
"Can I touch you, too?"  
  
Gale nods and lets Peeta take him out of his pants and in his strong hand. It is really cold down here, but at the moment he doesn't mind.  
  
Peeta moves closer and Gale understands immediately. Since they first started this, Peeta always insists on kissing before they do anything else. He's not entirely sure why, and Peeta doesn't tell him either. Shortly after they started to meet he was still reluctant, unsure. He refused to kiss Peeta at their first meeting and Peeta got upset, told him he could put his _offer_ where the sun don't shine if he didn't agree to Peeta's terms as well. He had been shocked and a little afraid that Peeta would go and tell people about their meetings and then agreed. He is still unsure about the details of their arrangement to a certain degree. But kissing Peeta isn't bad. Not bad at all.  
  
Firstly Peeta always tastes sweet. Having changed bodily fluids with girls from the Seam who hardly ate and showered once in a blue moon, he is used to less then perfect tastes. Peeta is different. He tastes like cinnamon, dill and fresh flour. Once they started kissing, it was hard to stop. Gale found himself craving it. Thinking about the boy, daydreaming about exchanging pleasure during the long hours in the mines. Counting the minutes until he would see Peeta again. Loving their kisses so much more than the ones he shared with his earlier conquests.  He even began to dismiss Becca's advances and Laika's flirty looks.  
  
They kiss and touch and while he wants to talk about Katniss and her sweet pussy his thoughts drift. Away to Peeta. Peeta Mellark and his hot kisses. Peeta Mellark, warm and soft. Solid. And even though Gale doesn't like to admit it, he is fun to be around. When they are not kissing they tell each other funny stories or wrestle around. The wrestling matches usually result in hard-on's and furious dry humping.  
  
This is much more fun. While he nips at Peeta's lower lips and they jerk each other off, he thinks of nothing but Peeta. They both come, Peeta first and he shortly after. He doesn't have to tell Peeta many things about touching him, they are both boys after all. They know what works in getting off. Gale takes a small towel that Peeta brought with him to clean them both and then he presses another short kiss on Peeta's lips. When he pulls away he sees that the town boy's lips are slightly blueish.  
  
"You're cold," he states unnecessarily. Peeta's teeth chatter in answer.  
  
"Up you go," says Gale and puts Peeta's trousers back in place. He then draws one of the extra blankets around Peeta's shoulders, feeling weirdly protective. Like when he is caring for one of his brothers. He dresses himself, careful not to meet Peeta's eyes.  
  
"I'd like to offer you a cigarette, but I'm out..." he says, breaking the uncomfortable silence they often share after coming.  
  
"Don't worry," Peeta says, opening his arms slightly. "Won't you share the blanket with me?"  
  
"Can't," Gale answers. "Gotta go, you know. I need my beauty sleep." What he isn't saying is that he needs his sleep because he must be at the mines at 7 a.m. sharp. And he needs to sleep, at least a few hours a night. Victor Peeta can sleep in until the afternoon, if he wants to.  
  
"Gale," Peeta begins, and Gale knows what's coming.  
  
"I gotta go, Peeta," he says urgently but leans down to caress the boy's cheeks, red from the cold. Or are they red from coming? Peeta looks so damn adorable like this and Gale feels a strong sense of pride that _he_ can get his boy off so fast.  
  
When did he start thinking like this? It's only been three weeks. He leans down and gives Peeta a slow and wet kiss goodbye. Another erection is forming already, so he pulls away quickly, leaving a thin band of saliva between them.  
  
"Did you think about it?" Peeta asks again.  
  
"Mmmh," he answers, not confirming and not denying. "I know, it's much more comfortable, but…"  
  
"I don't think there is another option, at least in winter," Peeta insists. They have spoken about this a lot. But Gale is reluctant.  
  
"But if someone actually sees me…I don't know. It is risky. I don't want you to get sick, but I'd rather we stay here."  
  
"Gale, if this is about Katniss…"  
  
"It's not." He says this but it's a lie. They both know it's a lie.  
  
"She doesn't come. Not her, not my family, not Haymitch," Peeta explains again, repeating the same facts over and over.

"She never sat a foot in my house. No one comes to visit, no one. Please believe me."  
  
The sad look in Peeta's eyes betrays the truth in his words. No one visits. No one.  
  
"Okay," he decides, "but only if you have fruit cake ready for me."  
  
The smile that breaks out on Peeta's red face makes him hopeful.  Might be that meeting Peeta in the Victor's Village is a big mistake. But right now he is willing to try.  
  
"I'll keep the back door to the kitchen open for you," Peeta says, a satisfied smile visible on his face.

"Let yourself in, you can come any time you want."

* * *

  
  
It takes another three days before he works up the courage to go.

* * *

  
  
Halfway there, he changes his mind and turns around, back to the Seam. Frustrated by his inability to decide, if he really wants this.

* * *

  
  
After having no contact with Peeta for almost a week, Sunday arrives. It's freezing cold, this winter a harsh one for the District. Hunting is hard in these cold days, even the squirrels rarely showing their bushy tails in their trees. The sun is weak and barely visible behind the shady clouds when he checks the snares. He's not sure if Katniss will come today. She doesn't have to . She doesn't need to hunt, and if he's honest, her skills with the bow and arrow have deteriorated since she returned from the Games. He told her hunting humans can't be too different compared to hunting animals. He still believes that. But in Katniss' eyes there lies another truth. The Hunger Games made her overthink the hunt. Now that she doesn't need to kill a deer to survive, she seems to almost think the animals have a soul. After they shot a deer a few weeks ago, she mumbled something about Rue and the paleness in her face didn't go away until they finally made it back to her house.  
  
When he turns into the clearing near their tree he sees her, small, lithe and beautiful. She seems to be lost in thought, as she doesn't react when he approaches her.  
  
"Catnip?" he says but she doesn't freeze. So she heard him after all. Her eyes meet his and start to shine.  
  
"Gale," she whispers, smiling at him, and it makes his stomach do a happy dance. He is not sure what to think. Katniss never smiled at Peeta like this, at least not on camera. Her smiles, always dazzling to the audience. But people who really knew her, like Gale or her family could see that this wasn't the real Katniss Everdeen. If Peeta had actually known Katniss he might've realized earlier that Katniss wasn't genuine. Or was she? Gale doesn't know. When he is alone with Katniss and they joke easily together, fall into their usual rhythm of hunting and talking he almost forgets that he and Peeta Mellark are essentially..seeing each other? Dating? Jerking each other off? What exactly is this _relationship_ about? Licking their wounds?

_'Katniss and I don't talk'_

  
  
These are the words Peeta told him and he can't help it, he just has to make sure.  
  
Katniss is inspecting some walnuts that lie forgotten beneath a bush, when he clears his throat.  
  
"How are things at home?" he opens with a fairly normal question, so she won't go defensive right away.  
  
She doesn't look at him, but answers,

"Pretty good. Prim got an A in biology class. She wrote a ten page paper on goats, can you believe it?" Katniss chuckles.

"Mother, well, she's better these days. She loves the house. I think, it reminds her of her merchant days. She asked me about opening a small practice in one of the rooms, but I don't think the Ca…"  
  
Katniss stops. Oh, here we go again. The _Capitol_.  
  
"I don't think it's a good idea," Katniss says instead, showing him what he immediately recognizes as a forced smile. More than often, she is pretty easy to read. Like Peeta.  
  
"What about your neighborhood? Enjoying cozy tea times with the other victors?"  
  
Katniss looks at him sharply, but he works hard at keeping his face neutral.  
  
"Mmh..no," she says, and brushes a few leaves out of her way. Obviously uncomfortable now.  
  
"Come on, Catnip. Don't tell me you haven't ever been curious. Don't you remember the dares from back when we were kids? Like going into Haymitch's house and steal something so that you could prove you went in?"  
  
These tests of courage had been popular when he was smaller, back when only Haymitch lived in the Victor's Village. Gale never went, but he remembers a few boys who did and returned with random items of the house, bragging about stealing a cushion or a fork.  
  
"Oh, yes," Katniss laughs again, " I remember that! Oh, I've got to tell Haymitch and ask him if he ever noticed stuff that went missing!"  
  
"So you meet Haymitch…" he says.  
  
"I've been to his house a few times," Katniss nods, in a good mood. It's now or never.  
  
"And what about your other neighbor? Visit him often, do you?" he tries to ask this as casually as possible, but Katniss' body tenses up immediately.  
  
"No. I told you before. We…we don't meet."  
  
"You honestly never went into his house?" _Let's see, if Peeta was for real_ , he thinks.  
  
"Why should I?" Katniss stands up, finished with her search for nuts.  
  
"Let me guess. He's the star-crossed love of your life. Might be that you're interested in his living arrangements."  
  
Katniss doesn't even muster to hide the pain in her expression.  
  
"I never went into Peeta's house, Gale. And..he is…he is…" she stutters, "not the love of my life…"  
  
Peeta is right. They don't meet. They don't talk. And he, he still has the pleasure of meeting Katniss, week after week. While Peeta is all alone. For a while he doesn't say a thing. He wants to kiss Katniss again. Like he did a few weeks ago. Wants to tell her that he is still interested, that they could be more.  
  
"If I ask nicely, would you let me kiss you?" he mumbles and her face turns into a grimace.  
  
"Please don't," she whispers, her braid caught in a wind gust from the east.  
  
He still wants her. So much it hurts.  
  
He still desires her. So much it makes him afraid.  
  
Somehow he also knows that this is not what Katniss wants or needs. And he can't force her to.  
  
"Why do you think did the Mellarks not move into the Victor's Village?"  
  
Katniss looks at him, frowning. This was probably not the follow up she expected. It's common knowledge that the Mellarks stayed at the bakery.  
  
"Probably because they have that town house and couldn't well abandon it," Katniss muses. "It's different for them. They are not Seam, like us."  
  
Gale knows what Katniss is doing. After rejecting the kiss, she is trying to soothe his ego. Drawing a strict line between Peeta Mellark and both of them. While he might have appreciated this earlier, it only annoys him this time. Katniss and Peeta are more of a unit than Katniss and Gale have ever been. Forever bounded to one another through the Games. And where does that leave Gale?  
  
"You're not Seam anymore, don't fool yourself," he cuttingly says and looks away. He knows he's hurting her, but he can't help it. Why does everything has to be so complicated?  
  
Katniss doesn't say much after that and they return to the fence, the air tense between them. He waves goodbye and turns to walk into the direction of the Hob, when Katniss grabs his arm.  
  
"See you next Sunday?" her voice sounds unsure, afraid of abandonment. That will never happen. No matter what.  
  
"Of course, Catnip," he answers and gives her a short hug. "See you."  
  
He walks away then, drops off some meat at home and continues to the Hob where he trades the rest of their haul. He has some money left and turns around to look at some of the stalls. Then spots Laika's husband, a lanky coal miner, sitting at the small bar drinking the cheapest liquor they sell. Poor Laika. Barely 21 and already having a drunk for a husband. There are rumors that the guy is not meeting his quota at the mines. Might be that Laika has a bleak future, might be that when her husband won't be able to handle the grueling work anymore his wife has to pick up the slack. For a woman in District 12 there ain't many options. Not only Cray has a taste for a hot blooded Seam girl, others would pay as well.  
  
Gale stares at the coins in his hands. Maybe he should ask Becca to marry him. She would say yes, he's sure of it. She also seems to be the faithful type. But spending the rest of his life in the mines, making babies with Becca is not how he imagined his future to be. He wants more, wants out. And he wants Katniss. A small part of him can admit that he even wants Peeta. While getting Katniss seems to become more like an impossible dream, he actually seems to have Peeta to a certain extent. He neglected the boy this last week. Should he visit him at his house tonight?  
  
"Hey, Hawthorne," Laika's husband yells, "Wanna join us for a drink?" He points to some other miner and Gale doesn't hesitate. He has enough of being responsible and slips onto one of the bar stools. Might as well have a drink tonight.

* * *

  
  
The door is not locked. He pushes it open slowly, silently, not making any noise. As soon as he enters the house, he knows he is alone. The hunter in him feels it, Peeta isn't here. It's almost midnight, so he briefly wonders where Peeta has gone to, that late. The kitchen is huge. There is a round table with five chairs. It looks abandoned, like no one sits there. Ever. Where does Peeta eat his meals? On the middle of the table is a fruit cake. Untouched. Gale inches closer. No doubt this is the fruit cake Peeta promised him. He almost giggles at the sight of it. It's cut already. Gale takes a piece and bites into the soft pastry. Chewing, he can't help but notice that the cake is freshly made. He wonders if Peeta made one, each day, anticipating his arrival. That boy has too much time on his hand.  
  
Now what? The cake is eaten, and Peeta is not here. He can't very well leave now, that would be rude. He wishes he didn't eat it now, so Peeta wouldn't have known that he came. He stays completely still, unsure what to do. He is light headed, slightly drunk. Maybe he could lie down for a minute? No, falling asleep here wouldn't be a good idea.  
  
There is a noise, somebody is walking up the porch and opens the front door. Maybe Katniss is sneaking around the house. Maybe both of them were lying and she actually comes here every night. Sneaks into Peeta's bedroom, wherever that is. Undresses herself slowly, and slips under the covers, waiting for him. Opening her bare legs for him. Crazy hairless Capitol pair that they are.  
  
Of course, it is not her.

Peeta is the only one making so much noise.  
  
To Peeta's credit he doesn't scream when he turns on the light in the kitchen. He winces when he sees Gale though.  
  
"Gale..hey.." he says, startled, "I didn't expect you tonight."  
  
"Why? You made cake," Gale says and points at the half eaten fruit cake.  
  
Peeta's eyes grow large.

"Yes, well, I'm a baker. That's what I do."  
  
This irks Gale. Peeta made the cake for him. But pretends otherwise.  
  
"So it wasn't for me, then?"  
  
"I didn't say that." Peeta slowly limps over to the kitchen sink and fills himself a cup of water.  
  
"Want a drink?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay." Peeta gulps down the water and then points to the table.  
  
"Do you want to sit down?"  
  
"No."  
  
Peeta stares at Gale.  
  
"Well, what do you want, then?"  
  
"What do I want? It's you, that always wanted me to come over, Peeta." Gale doesn't know, why he is getting so angry.  
"Where were you?"  
  
"Nowhere. You're acting strange. What is it with you tonight?" Peeta smiles then, and Gale thinks he recognizes that smile. It's the one that Peeta uses when a situation seems to get out of control. Perhaps often used at home, with his parents.  
  
What is it with him tonight? For one, he is drunk. And secondly, he is heartsick. Katniss does not want him. She wants this boy here, for some reason. This is all too much, all too crazy.  
  
"Drop your pants, Peeta," he says. Peeta raises his eyebrows.  
  
"Here?" He looks around the kitchen, amusement twinkling in his eyes. Gale nods.  
  
"I want to see you jerk off," he says deeply and licks his lips. He wasn't aware that he wished to see this until he said it. Remembers their conversation about Peeta's masturbatory fantasies.  
  
"You can watch me, but let's go to the bedroom, okay?" Peeta makes a move to the door that leads deeper into the house. Gale doesn't follow.  
  
"Gale?"  
  
He stares at the fruit cake on the table and then back at the baker's boy.  
  
"Well, then forget it. Forget that I ever said a thing. And forget that I ever made that stupid offer. Forget those last weeks, let's pretend they never happened, okay? Let's go back to being strangers who dislike each other. The Victory Tour is coming up. You can be with her, all the time. Can touch her, kiss her. Have the chance to woo her."  
  
He hates the way his voice cracks, hates the way a lone tear forces its way out of his left eye. Stupid white liquor. Peeta looks at him, lost. He sees the truth in the blond boy's eyes. Peeta will use this chance with Catnip. The same way Gale is trying to use his chance every Sunday. Deep in his heart he knows that Peeta will win this fight. That he lost in the very moment that Peeta and Katniss became victors of the 74th Hunger Games.  
  
Peeta is beside him now and takes him by the hand.  
  
"Come with me," he says and he lets himself be lead through the dark house, up the plushy staircase and into a room that turns out to be the bedroom.  
  
"Sit," Peeta orders and Gale sits down on the bed. Taking his face into his hands, Peeta leans down to kiss his cheeks, first the right one and then the left one, catching the tear with his mouth. Then he kisses his nose, and finally presses a soft kiss on his lips. When he pulls back, Peeta smiles knowingly and Gale realizes that he smelled the white liquor on him, feels caught and flushes red.  
  
Peeta drops on his knees awkwardly. This must hurt, with the prosthetic. He then strokes Gale's knee for a while, and Gale sniffles, locking his gaze to Peeta's. Now what?  
  
"Gale," Peeta begins, still stroking him through his pants. "Will you teach me how to satisfy you?"  
  
Maybe it's the white liquor, but he doesn't quite follow.  
  
"Don't understand," he whispers.  
  
"Show me how to pleasure you," Peeta drops his gaze, blushing, "with my mouth."  
  
"But.." His head is spinning. This is wrong. So far, everything they did was under the guise of pleasuring Katniss. This is how you kiss her, this is how you touch her, this is how to get her off. They always talked about Katniss, fantasized about her. While they jerked each other off, he described a female body in great detail so that Peeta would know what to do. They don't get off to the thought of the other. Do they? Peeta doesn't need to know how to pleasure a guy orally. How to suck a cock. It feels wrong to teach him that. Peeta's hand is cupping his groin now and most of the doubts he is harboring tumble down like a house of cards.  
  
"Do I really have to teach you? Just imagine Katniss doing it to you, and you got it," he tries one last time, while the slight stirring turns into a full blown erection. Peeta shakes his head.  
  
"Show me," he repeats, placing a short kiss on his still clothed groin. Gale pulls down his pants and underwear in one go and Peeta looks a bit afraid for a  short second.

  
Gale smirks, "See…we better stop th.." And then Peeta begins to lick him, starts by bathing his balls with his tongue and he forgets for a moment that he is supposed to be the one who guides Peeta along. But Peeta doesn't need instructions, not for this. He concentrates on the tip of Gale's erection, and that's quite enough already. He is such a hard worker and begins to use his hands, stroking along, while Gale plays with his locks, caressing his beautiful light hair, but never putting pressure on it.  
  
"Please, don't stop," he moans, barely able to stand the wonderful feeling. Peeta is good. Almost as good as Laika, who had a lot of practice. Peeta closes his lips around the tip, circles his tongue around, once, twice and a third time. He stops, gives him a soft kiss on the head while he continues to massage Gale's balls with his warm hand.  
  
"I won't, don't worry," he licks along the underside of the shaft, "you can come in my mouth, if you want to," and closes his mouth around Gale's cock again.  
  
"No, please, that's too much," Gale whimpers, "Don't..don't swallow."  
  
But when Gale starts coming and tries to gently push Peeta away a few moments later, Peeta holds his ground. Swallows all of his come.  
  
Gale is still trying to catch his breath, and stares at Peeta who smiles at him gently.  
  
"That cannot taste good, gosh, I'm so sorry, I warned you.. didn't I, I'm sorry." Most girls don't like to do this and Peeta must be disgusted. He can't bear the thought of Peeta being disgusted with him. He pushes his arms under Peeta's and pulls him up to sit beside him.  
  
"Really, why did you? Lil' one, I'm so sorry," before he can even think he kisses his boy deeply, tasting his remains on Peeta's lips. A sudden surge of love and affection seems to build up in him, something weirdly painful that seems to clench around his heart, something he never felt for any of the girls he shared this with.  
  
"It's okay, Gale, I wanted to." Peeta says, and leans against his shoulders. He nods, still feeling warm. This was so wonderful. He doesn't even remember why he felt so angry and sad earlier. Happiness makes him grin at Peeta now.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" he says after a while, eager to return the favor.  
  
"I'm tired, Gale. So tired," Peeta says, his voice barely audible, "I know, you have to be at the mines at seven. But…would you stay with me until I fall asleep?"  
  
Peeta is full of surprises. He had wanted to satisfy him sexually, but that's not what Peeta wishes for.  
  
"Where were you earlier, Peeta?" he asks again, stroking the strong back of the boy's shoulder.  
  
"Here and there. I have trouble sleeping…and when you didn't come…usually I wait until midnight and then walk around the District. To the bakery and back. Around the town square, or the Victor's Village. Tonight I went for my walk around eleven as I was sure you wouldn't come. It's Sunday, after all."  
  
The day he and Katniss go hunting. Not believing he would come, but baking his favorite cake anyway. Gale groans. Peeta is too nice. Too sweet. It makes everything so much harder.  
  
"Peeta, I'm sorry about earlier. What I said. I was a little drunk. I'll stay. Go ahead, try to sleep."  
  
Peeta nods, stands up and walks over to the bathroom. Gale undresses quickly and slips under the blankets to warm them up. Peeta returns in his pajamas and then slips in besides Gale.  
  
"Do you have an alarm clock, or something? I have a feeling I won't wake up early enough in a bed this comfy," Gale laughs.  
  
Peeta nods and sets the alarm to five on some fancy digital clock on his night stand.  
  
"Thank you," he says, and snuggles closer, resting his head on Gale's torso.  
  
It scarcely takes two minutes to make Peeta fall into a deep, dreamless slumber with Gale Hawthorne in his bed.


	4. A clearing in the woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale and Peeta's relationship becomes more complicated. A new head peacekeeper makes his first appearance in District 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers. To be honest, I wanted to finish another PiP entry this week, but ended up working on The Lark's Awakening. I have so many ideas for this story, it's not even funny, so I decided to go with my muse and leave that PiP story for another day. :) Please enjoy Chapter 3, A clearing in the woods!

"Watch Victors Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark on their Victory Tour. An exclusive glimpse behind the scenes of the star-crossed lovers tour life and all about Peeta's romantic proposal in front of a roaring crowd of competition winners from the official Hunger Games fanclub. Revealing interviews with Katniss' stylist Cinna, District 12's very own mentor Haymitch Abernathy and Caesar Flickerman, who became close to the pair last year, are not the only surprises waiting for you on this night's Capitol Boulevard with…."

Gale turns off the small TV set that is provided by the Capitol to every house in the Seam. Electricity runs sporadically and mostly when the Capitol wants people to watch their shows.  
  
"Why did you turn it off, Gale?" Vick nags, "I wanted to watch Katniss on TV."  
  
Posy pipes in, "Yes, why did you? Katniss is getting married! Wearing a beautiful dress. White, with many, many flowers!" His little sister gesticulates by opening her arms widely.  
  
Gale stares at his siblings, reminds himself that they are kids. They don't know any better.  
  
"I wonder, if that Mellark boy is still going to bake when he is married." Even Rory employs an irritating tone, trying to catch Gale's gaze. "He stopped bringing bread over. He is a jerk, if you ask me. Merchant boys are bullies, everyone knows that. He must've bullied Katniss into marrying him."  
  
Rory is not as naive as his younger siblings. But Rory does not know Katniss. She is not one who lets herself get bullied into marriage. Peeta must've succeeded. He and Katniss are a couple, for real. They are getting married. His heart clenches painfully - harder than on the night weeks ago, when he said goodbye to Katniss in the daylight and goodbye to Peeta at night.  
  
Without a word he stands up and leaves their small little hut and the voices of his family far behind, trotting through the Seam like a lion in a cage. He feels so restricted in District 12. There is nowhere to go really. And even the woods…without Katniss there, they are just woods. Nothing more. Katniss. Oh, how beautiful she looked on TV. He hates the Capitol style, he tells himself, but whatever those people do, they know how to make her look absolutely stunning. Their stylists bring out the best in her figure, that's for sure. And her eyes are absolutely mesmerizing, the make up subtle but accentuating the shine in them.  
  
Damn you, Katniss. And damn you, Peeta Mellark.  
  
Peeta still loves Katniss and it is obvious with every look in her direction. His gaze is so full of love and adoration that it makes Gale physically sick. No one is that good an actor. Are they fucking now? Is Peeta really using his knowledge, the things he taught him about girls, perhaps right in this moment in some fancy Capitol hotel bed? Why is he so jealous? He told Peeta before that he can be with Katniss. But the thought of the two of them together, without him, is too much to handle. He doesn't know who he is more jealous of, Katniss or Peeta. His frustration turns into anger and anger slowly turns into rage when he nearly runs into a girl, on the street from the Hob to the Mines.  
  
"Ouch, can't you look where you're…", the girl starts and then stops, her eyes wide. It's Mia. The girl Peeta brought to the slag heap, that fateful night weeks ago. When he started to see Peeta as more than just a rival for Katniss' affection.  
  
Mia looks scared for a second, perhaps remembering his harsh words at the slag heap. While he doesn't like this girl, and cannot imagine why Peeta ever sought her out, he also doesn't like the fact that a girl this small and skinny seems to be afraid of him. He is not some kind of monster.  
  
"Hey," he says, in what he hopes is a neutral tone. "How are you?"  
  
Mia looks at him suspiciously and then says, "I'm okay. You?"  
  
"Alright," he adds, "Listen, do you have a minute? I have something to ask you."  
  
"I'm not going to the slag heap with you," Mia hisses and Gale rolls his eyes. As if he wanted to got to the slag heap with every girl he talks to. This one, in particular, seems to have a very high opinion of herself.  
  
"Well, then goodbye," he turns around, "was good meeting you, Mia."  
  
"Wait," Mia yells loudly, "I'm sorry. If you want, we can go, Gale."

He nearly laughs at this, because it is exactly what he expected, but stops himself. Mia is a poor Seam girl. Her father is a widower and is known in the mines as Black Jerry, because he looks as black as coal, never getting rid of the coal dust, even after showering. While Mia probably has food, her life can't be that happy. He feels empathy, he really does. Mia is the same as him, as most Seam people. Not free in any way. So laughing at her is cruel.  
  
"Do you offer yourself to every guy you meet?" he asks grinning and she shakes her head.  
  
"Only to the good looking ones," she says, but the quiver in her voice betrays her. She is still afraid of him. He wonders if she sells herself. The thought makes him sick. Nobody should have to do that. And he hates that Peeta went with Mia to the slag heap. Paid her.  
  
"What deal did you make with Peeta Mellark?" he finds himself asking.  
  
She looks at him, distrust evident in her face. But then she sighs and leans against the wall of an old abandoned Seam hut to their right.  
  
"Why are you interested in this? I mean, he never came back to get his reward after that night. And now he never will…."  
  
"Tell me about it," Gale says.  
  
"Only if you promise me one thing," Mia answers solemnly and he nods. He doesn't have much money, but she must know that. "When you take part in the same shift with my father, make sure he drinks from his water hose, whenever you're taking a break, okay? He always forgets. And then he dehydrates. It's no good."  
  
"I will," he agrees, easily. And he understands that this girl here is only presenting a tough exterior to people. Is not as bold as she pretends and in reality, is more than afraid of the fact that she might lose the only parent she has left in this world. It is hard to accept, but people are not black and white. Everyone has their cross to bear. Katniss told him something similar about her stylist, Cinna. But the Capitol is different. These people don't have an inkling about love and survival. They only see the Districts as slave fodder.  
  
"Peeta Mellark is fairly popular, mainly with the merchant girls, but he was never rude to the Seam girls like many of the town boys are. It's hard to find someone like this," Mia begins and Gale nods. "Not one of our class was that surprised when he confessed that he was in love with Katniss. It's not like it had been common knowledge, but he had turned down merchant girls before. There was much gossip around that time, why would he do that…you know…the merchant girls are sooo pretty. With their hair. And their dresses…"  
  
Mia seems to be a little bit too invested in schoolyard gossip, but maybe that is her way of coping. Not many hobbies available here.  
  
"Katniss is even more popular than him. A lot of boys like her. Not only you," Mia gives him a knowing look. "I think most of the boys in our class had a crush on her."  
  
Gale shakes his head. This talk is weird to him. He never saw Katniss with any boy beside himself. They might've been intimidated. Katniss' death glare was famous.  
  
"I ran into Peeta one night when I was heading to Cray's, to see if Darius was there. I have a little crush on the guy. Through the back yards of the merchant quarter, that's the shortest route," Mia continues, finally coming to the interesting parts, "It was late. He was standing beneath an old apple tree behind his parents house, staring at something. When he saw me he called me over, and we started talking. He seemed to be honestly interested in my life in the Seam and how school was, now that he wasn't allowed to go anymore. He was so sweet, I kind of…well, I moved closer and gave him a kiss. He said he couldn't do it and ran away."  
  
Gale doesn't have any idea how they ended up at the slag heap together. With Mia being too forward and Peeta obviously still heartbroken.  
  
"Few days later, same situation, Peeta Mellark in the middle of the night staring at some place on the ground beneath the apple tree. I got aggressive. When I like a boy and they are obviously interested in me, I have my methods to get them, where I want them," Mia starts playing with her hair in a girlish way. This is what she might think is a flirty move.  
  
"I kissed him again, he pushed me away. I told him that I kinda liked him. Would be more than just _interested_ in a night of fun in his bed in the Victor's Village. After a few nights, he finally seemed to give in. We made a deal. He insisted that we meet at the slag heap. Make out a bit. If he'd like it, we would repeat the same thing in the Victor's Village. I always wanted to get into one of these houses. They have warm water showers, or so I've heard."  
  
Mia looks bored.  
  
"I think I'll go back home, look after Pa. He shouldn't be alone that long."  
  
Gale watches Mia turn towards one of the dirtier areas of the Seam, her long black hair flowing behind her.  
  
"Did Peeta ask you to dress like Katniss?" he asks a last question, holding his breath. He doesn't know why this is so important to him.  
  
Mia turns to look at him, her face an impassive mask.  
  
"Don't remember," Mia says and then she is gone.

 

* * *

  
  
When he said goodbye to Katniss in the woods, he had tried to kiss her goodbye beneath a tree near the fence before they parted. She got stiff in his arms at first but then accepted his lips on hers and relaxed. Seeing this as a good sign he tried to push his tongue inside her mouth, but Katniss took a step back, looking betrayed.

Why couldn't she be more like Peeta? Peeta accepted his kisses goodbye, oh yes, they had kissed long and hard that night. He had been slightly intrusive with Peeta as well, pinched his nipples harder than necessary and even slapped the boy's ass cheek once. Peeta didn't comment on this, but moaned his name a bit louder, biting into his shoulder softly. When he started to suck roughly on Peeta's neck though, he felt Peeta tense up and stopped himself.  
  
Peeta had stroked his cheek slowly then, tried to soothe him, he guessed, but the message was clear. _Don't do this, what will Katniss think?_  
  
The engagement must've been spontaneous. Peeta would've said something, right? If he had planned this. Before. Thinking about them leaves him with headaches and he stays miserable during the weeks that both of them are gone.

Missing her. Missing…them.

* * *

  
  
When Katniss and Peeta return from the tour, he doesn't wait. Lets himself into Peeta's house in the middle of the night and enters the room in which Peeta indulges his talent, painting, seeing the light is still on from the outside.  
  
Peeta looks up and for a short moment Gale sees guilt etched in every corner of Peeta's forced smile.  
  
"Hello," Peeta says shyly, standing up to walk over, arms slightly lifted, probably hoping for a hug, but he doesn't want to. So he takes a step back.  
  
"Look at you," Gale says cuttingly, "looking stylish."  
  
Peeta looks fancy indeed, his clothes brand new, his hair groomed and his face shaved.  
  
"I missed you," Peeta breathes out, licking his lips, "Brought you some clothes from the Capitol. Nothing extravagant, but I thought you might like new underclothes? They were made especially for.."  
  
"I don't want anything from you, or the Capitol," Gale interrupts, staring down at Peeta. "Especially not now. I think congratulations are in order, Mr. Fiancé. Did it work, huh?"  
  
Peeta bites his lip, uncertainty etched in his features. He doesn't say a thing.  
  
"Hey, I asked you a question. Finally took Katniss to bed, did you?" The look in Peeta's eyes says it all, and something deep inside Gale's chest starts to ache badly.  
  
"I have only myself to blame," he continues, talking more to himself than to Peeta. What an idiot he has been. This is all his fault, anyway.  
  
"No, it's not like that." Peeta whispers, after a pause.  
  
"What was that? Then what is it like?" Gale asks, even though he doesn't want to hear the answer. What had been a fun game before, has turned into a painful exercise. He's not sure if he ever wants to talk about Katniss to Peeta again.  
  
"We…we slept together. In the same bed," Peeta says, and it's almost like he can hear his heart breaking. "But only for comfort. We didn't even kiss. There…there was nothing sexual about it. She has nightmares. And so do I, you know that. I merely offered comfort."  
  
"Yeah, sure," Gale huffs. As if he would believe that. Comforting Katniss with his cock, that's how it is.  
  
"Haymitch and Katniss decided that we should marry. It has to be done, to protect our families. I never wanted it," Peeta says, and starts to pace around the room.  
  
"You expect me to believe that you don't want to be with Katniss? How stupid do you think I am?"  
  
Peeta's head turns into his direction, eyes showing only sadness.  
  
"Of course, I want to be with Katniss, Gale. I love..her... and if she wanted to be with me out of her own free will I would be the happiest man. But she doesn't. She is forced into the marriage. A marriage to me. I've been telling you before, but you don't listen to what I have to say. She does not want me! And now we have to marry and she'll end up hating me. This is torture. I never wished for this, can't you see? I don't want a fake happiness. I'd rather have you two marry and never get to touch…you….her… ever again….maybe…."  
  
Peeta seems to be fighting with himself, and what then comes out of his mouth is so forced and painful that it can only be his real honest thoughts, out there in the open.  
  
"Perhaps…if we marry, you two can still be …together? And I'll only be her husband in name. When we go to the Capitol, I'll be with her for the cameras. But you should be able to have a relationship without me interfering. I'll try to be discreet, but we could still meet, as friends. I promise you, I won't force myself on… you…your girl. Or touch her. Only for comfort and only if she asks. Would that be okay?"  
  
He stares at the baker's boy, barely able to believe what he is hearing. Is Peeta goading him into some sort of trap? How can one person be so selfless? It doesn't make any sense, and he doubts that Katniss would be able to live such a lie, even if he'd agree. And where would that leave Peeta? Staying friends under these circumstances is pure idiocy. They aren't friends anyway.  
  
"You're talking bullshit, Mellark. How would that ever work? Do you know Katniss at all? She would never do this."  
  
Peeta shakes his head.  
  
"Did…did you kiss her lately?"  
  
Gale narrows his eyes, but can't bring himself to lie to Peeta, "Yes. In the woods, before the Victory tour."  
  
Peeta nods. "She told me."  
  
He raises his eyebrows.  
  
"She told me and it's okay. It's okay, really. You look good together. When I watched you before the games, I've always thought so. I was jealous of you, of course. But I thought, these two look like a perfect match. Gale, you and Katniss make a great couple.  I imagined you two kissing in the woods, alone in some clearing. Sometimes when you touch me and teach me about Katniss, it's the same. I can see both of you together before my inner eye. And really, the only times I ever got to kiss her was in front of the cameras. It's alright…that.. humf.."  
  
Gale grabs Peeta and presses his lips on his mouth. He can't listen to this nonsense any longer, hating the way Peeta belittles himself. Can't he see that he's important? And then there are the things Peeta openly reveals, about his fantasies. Gale and Katniss together, making love in the woods. They are so eerily similar to his own thoughts and feelings. How often did he jerk off during the last few weeks, thinking of nothing but Peeta and Katniss fucking in their hotel room? Or Katniss on her knees, sucking Peeta off in his house in the Village? Peeta licking her all over in his sitting room. And when Peeta orgasms in these fantasies of his, it's always Gale's name on his lips - not Katniss'.  
  
What does that say about him? How did these weird desires begin, these strange feelings take root? And when will they leave him? When will he be able to have free, carefree encounters with Seam girls again without thinking of sex with Peeta and Katniss?  
  
Peeta's eyes are wide open in shock but as he slowly relaxes into the kiss, so do his eyelids, fluttering close. He opens up his mouth slightly and Gale can slowly push his tongue inside. For some reason, he leaves his tongue slack and lets Gale dominate this. Gale responds by kissing him harder, nipping Peeta's lower lip and giving it a light suck. He embraces Peeta's torso tightly, so tightly it must hurt. Peeta groans, a deep animalistic sound that makes Gale buck his hips. He feels the need to claim, like on that night at the heap, more urgent, much stronger this time. The mental image of Peeta fucking Katniss is back. Watching his strong backside, his shoulders, his thighs, and his wonderful bottom, clenching, pushing back and forth into his Catnip is simply overwhelming.  
  
The opportunity he has subconsciously waited for has finally arrived. The need to go further than jerking each other off and doing more than simply trading blow jobs is festering in his mind. He wants to fuck. And he wants to be the one doing the fucking. Taking Peeta. _'Yes'_ , he thinks, grabbing on Peeta's shirt, trying to undress him frantically, _'I got to have him. First.'_  
  
Peeta however seems to have another idea. He pushes him away, gently but firmly, cheeks flushed, pants tented.  
  
"No," he shakes his head. "We shouldn't, we shouldn't do this. I'm sorry that I let it go this far. But…"  
  
"I want to take you, Peeta," Gale says, and tries to kiss Peeta again, but he turns his head away. Gale flushes at the rejection. Why is Peeta so hesitant? Wasn't he all needy before, always sensual, always seductive, open to Gale, willing to do anything? It must be his inexperience, Gale decides. Peeta doesn't know how sex works with another boy and he is afraid of the inevitable pain.  
  
"Don't worry, lil' one," he reassures, caressing Peeta's cheeks while the boy's eyes seem to melt into a darker shade of blue at the use of the pet name, "I know what to do, so it won't hurt too bad. I've fucked girls in the ass before."  
  
At this Peeta's face darkens and he steps away. "It's not that, Gale. I don't think we should do this. I mean, didn't you teach me so that I could make Katniss' first time something special, something she'll love?"  
  
"Yeah," Gale replies, "And it'll still be special and lovely. You're an experienced man now. She'll love what you can do to her."  
  
"But then," Peeta's voice is young, boyish, and Gale wonders where his problem lies, "...then, my first time won't be with Katniss."  
  
Even though the pain in Peeta's voice is obviously real, it still seems like a lame excuse to Gale. What kind of reasoning is this?  
  
"Your first time with a girl will be with Katniss. Considering I barely made it in time to prevent you from fucking Mia at the slag heap I don't see how you can be that concerned about it. If you don't want me to fuck you, just say so."  
  
Gale feels his erection deflating and outrage taking its place at Peeta's confused expression.  
  
"You're a hypocrite. Can't you see that you've been dealt with the best set of cards here? Growing up with both parents, always enough food on the table. The only thing you ever had to worry about was your placement in the wrestling competitions, while others fought for survival. And then, coming back from the Hunger Games as a victor, the girl you love presented to you, like a gift, ripe for the taking thanks to the Capitol. She will be yours, whether she likes it or not. Don't complain about forcing her, Katniss will open her legs for you sooner than you think. Being her first is something I can only dream about. She may protest, but Katniss can and will make the best of any circumstance. She likes you, it won't take much, believe me. And then you can fuck her like you always wanted, live in riches and watch your children grow up happily. I really don't see how you have it so bad, Peeta Mellark."  

Peeta's fair complexion turns paler and paler at every angry word that leaves Gale in his rage. The rim of his eyes are red, filled with uncried tears. His voice, though, remains icily calm when he replies, "Thank you for this interesting summary of my situation, Gale Hawthorne. This was definitely an eye opener. If I held on any illusions about your true thoughts of me, I can let them go."  
  
Gale doesn't know how to reply, but it seems that Peeta isn't finished yet. There is also a hidden fire in his eyes, anger at Gale's accusations.

His voice gets more animated when he continues, "It doesn't change a thing about our situation though. If we _fuck_ , as you so nicely put it, we betray Katniss. You and me, both. Do you think she'll honestly want to be with one of us if she finds out what we do with each other? That she might even like the thought? Katniss is pure, an innocent girl. No matter how often she tries to deny it. I doubt she knows that there is such a thing as oral sex. In the Games she could barely look at me naked. If she touches herself at all, she is likely ashamed about it. One thing is certain, the thought of two boys fucking never crossed her mind. Generally, she might be okay with it. But not if it's you and me. Be sure, she would be disgusted. And then we'd lose her. Think about that."  
  
Gale swallows hard. Peeta described his greatest fears in detail. Things he didn't want to think about, tried to push in a far corner of his mind. The fact that he basically kicked both of them out of the running without really meaning to. Why did he approach Peeta at the slag heap? And why did Peeta invite him in? Into his house and into his heart? Fear grips around his own. Fear of losing them both, Katniss and Peeta. He is angry that Peeta openly stated what kept him awake at night, that the words - once spoken - cannot be ignored anymore.  
  
"So what now? The damage is done already, Peeta. Okay, we didn't fuck yet, but won't she be equally disgusted at the thought of us kissing wetly at the slag heap? Of you on your knees, sucking me off in your bed? At your needy moans of my name when you blow your load?"  
  
The baker's son flushes pink and Gale feels his anger disappearing fast, shame creeping up on him. Why did he have to say it like this? Peeta had been so loving, so sweet that night when he had been drunk and he had gently blown him for the first time. He had swallowed and never asked for this in return, patiently waited until Gale offered it himself. When did he become such a nasty person?  
  
Peeta didn't want to fuck, so what? He should've accepted it and moved on. They could've continued like before. It wasn't the first time he had been denied sex, why did he act so immature today? Why did he have to go into such an horrible speech, insulting him when he knows that Peeta is hurting and lonely?  
  
"I think it's better if we don't see each other for a while, Gale," Peeta says sadly. "I was happy that you came to visit, but please leave."  
  
"Listen, Peeta," Gale begins, hand reaching out, but Peeta slaps it away, expression so injured that Gale can't bear to look at him, eyes finding the floor.  
  
"Go," he hears Peeta press out, and Gale feels like crying when he turns around and leaves silently, the hunter in him careful at making no noise. As soon as he is out of the house he can't hold it in anymore, a painful sob escapes him. It hurts so fucking much. He is not sure what made him act mean. He was not able to control his temper. Peeta is not at fault, only stated things as they were.

Their whole encounter only shows one thing. What a horrible person Gale is. Right from the start he had been aggressive, tried to get Peeta confess something that had only happened in his imagination. Peeta, always steady, had tried to contain his fears and doubts, wanted to be with him still. Gale is sure that Peeta never thought of ending their meetings or breaking up prior to tonight.

If he'd only acted a tad more gently, only had been a bit more kind, his boy would have let him take him. Wasn't he known for being skilled at seducing? He knows Peeta's reactions and body by now. Knows how to touch and tease. He could've made Peeta so horny that he would've agreed to go all the way, easily. If he'd used all that knowledge Peeta might've even begged for it. Gale wouldn't even have had to ask, would not have appeared like such a needy fool.

But now that chance is gone and not only that. The lil'one doesn't want to see him anymore. Pain clenches around his heart at the thought of losing Peeta. The worst thing is, he only has himself to blame.  
  
Gale wanders around the dark District, towards the fence, thinking of slipping through and never returning. But he can't. His life, no matter how much he hates it, is here. His family is here. And she is here.  
  
Katniss.

He still has Katniss. Peeta wouldn't dare to tell Katniss about what they did or that he went to the heap with Mia. They are both caught in this web, and he still has a chance with Catnip. They are engaged but the marriage didn't happen yet. Maybe he might be able to convince her, make her see that she belongs to him and he to her? He doubts that Peeta would interfere. He basically gave them his blessings. But the thought of leaving Peeta out of their relationship makes him ache. Peeta all alone, married only on paper, not being able to be with Katniss or him. This cannot be the solution, it would be cruel and unfair.

And Catnip? How would she react if they told her the truth? Gale can't see himself lying to her all his life. The damage has been done, indeed. But thinking of his days with Peeta as damage is not fair and not true. He had enjoyed these days. Missed Peeta and Katniss equally when they were gone.

He is back at the Seam and stares at the moon above. The mines are waiting. In another three hours the shift begins and he hasn't slept at all. Wondering if he might get punished, if he falls asleep in the darkness of the tunnels tomorrow, he enters the little Hawthorne hut, carefully making sure that no one wakes up as he lies down in bed with his little brother, who snores steadily beside him.

 

* * *

  
  
Gale tries to forget Peeta. It's not that hard to avoid him as he doesn't go to the Victor's Village anymore and Peeta doesn't show up in the Seam after he told him to stop coming. Preventing his thoughts to wander back to the baker's son is another issue. On Sundays he meets up with Catnip mainly to hunt, but he uses every chance to court her, to show her he remains interested.

When Katniss asks him to run away together one afternoon his heart sings with joy for a moment. He has passed a beautiful clearing in the woods earlier, where the sun shines softly through the high trees and the moss seems so soft. The perfect place, the place where he imagined him and Katniss making love before the Hunger Games. And while Peeta has never been to the woods, he also always imagined a place like this. Gale shudders when he can't help but let his mind go down that route. What if he and Katniss become a couple for real? Lately he has a feeling that he is making some progress with her. He can imagine them making love here, in this clearing. He could ask Katniss if she would be okay with Peeta watching them. Gale shakes his head. These are stupid fantasies, imaginary scenarios that will never happen in real life. Katniss isn't easy. Especially not when it comes to love.  
  
Maybe it would be possible if they'd run away together. The three of them. But Katniss wants to take their families and Haymitch with them. The thought of running away - all of them - is too unrealistic to consider. It would never work out. When Katniss accidentally tells him that there is unrest in the Districts he knows for sure that they can't go. If a rebellion is happening he must stay, stay and help to make it happen. For his family, for his life, for a better future, for all of them. He and Katniss argue about it, but at that moment he honestly doesn't care about her opinion, is even disgusted that she doesn't want to help. Katniss could do so much, but might still be too young to see the bigger picture.

This is the chance he has been waiting for. Excited about talking to some of his fellow miners he trusts later, he walks over to Cray's house to trade a turkey they shot in the woods. After two knocks, the door opens up, showing a face he has never seen before. And there is no doubt, this is not a friendly face.  
  
"My, my, what do we have here?" says the man with an ugly sneer stretched across this cruel face and Gale feels true fear creeping up his spine as he clutches onto the turkey tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, hello Thread? What do you think? Is that the end for Hawlark?


	5. In the Everdeen's kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A different kind of rule enforcing is changing the District and President Snow makes a Quarter Quell announcement that destroys the hope for a future relationship between Peeta and Gale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Thank you for reading this story. Your support on this rare pairing means the world to me, I'm so grateful and happy when I read your sweet reviews and receive kudos. 
> 
> I'm repeating myself, but the main pairing in this story is Gale/Peeta and they continue to do..things to each other. Ha. Enjoy!

The feeling of a heartbeat. Pulsing, strong, rhythmic. Repeating again, again, and… again.  
  
It reminds Gale of the old rocking chair at home. Hazelle cradling him, then Rory, Vick and finally small, sweet little Posy while humming an unknown tune in the night. It reminds him of the rhythmic motion of his hips when he slowly rocks into a warm body of a willing Seam girl, enjoys her on the heap. It reminds him of the soothing ticking of their only clock, hanging dangerously, just short of falling, on a rusty nail over the kitchen sink. It reminds him of the sound of a woodpecker he shows to his Katniss at the beginning of spring.  
  
And finally it reminds him of the sweet helpless little moans that leave Peeta's mouth when he is too far gone and clings to Gale in his passion. "Ah, Ah, Ah, Gale…" he pants into his ear and Gale smiles at the hazy memory in his sleep, at these wonderful sounds that make him feel so happily in love. The pounding gets stronger, heavier. It's not sweet anymore, but cutting, hot, and Gale gasps for breath. The pounding becomes unbearable, unpleasant like the screeching sound of the coal digger down in the mines.  
  
Where is he?

Groaning he slowly opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is a head. The head belongs to Katniss Everdeen, resting on her cheek next to him a red welt on her face, snoring softly. Gale is lying on his stomach and suddenly it all comes back to him. The face of the new head peacekeeper.

How he had been dragged to the town square and whipped in front of all the district people. How no one came to his aid, no one seemed to have the courage to step up and speak. How he met the eyes of people from town, blond folks who said nothing. Not really surprising. No, the real surprise were Billy, Anders, Winne and several other guys from the Seam and the mines who looked the other way. He had seen Namy and met the gaze of Becca who also did her Sunday shopping around town. None of them had stood up for him. They were scared, they are scared. He knows but can't help but feel bitter. He's sure that he would've prevented this had it happened to any of them. But the fear of the Capitol, the cowering in front of authority runs deeper in Twelve than he had thought possible.  
  
And then there was Catnip. He remembers her pained cry and his eyes get wet. They hit her. His beautiful girl. The peacekeeper hit her face, with a whip of all things. If they did that to the darling of the 74th Hunger Games then there really is no doubt. The Capitol is declaring war. And if Katniss doesn't do as they say… Gale shudders, the motion hurting every inch of his body.  
  
Katniss has both of her hands wrapped around his larger one. She must've watched over him until she fell asleep with exhaustion. He already feels his eyelids grow heavy, too. Better this way. The last thought he has before giving in to blissful sleep is that he can't go to work tomorrow, and what that will mean in terms of income. What will his family do, oh, what will they do?

 

* * *

  
  
Is he still dreaming? Scratchy lips meet his own. Did he fall asleep in the clearing of the woods? Is Catnip here with him? The familiar scent of pinewood needle is strong here, wherever here is. He feels a warmth leave his hand and a screeching of a chair being pushed back, followed by a gasp.  
  
"You need to sleep," Peeta says, "I can watch over him for a while."  
  
Peeta. He is also here. Gale tries to say something but his throat is dry.  
  
"No, no.  I need to stay. You don't understand. This is all my fault. I can't leave him."  
  
The worry in Katniss' voice is so real, so honest that Gale wonders how he could've ever doubted her love for him. She loves him. Maybe not in that romantic way that leads to sweaty encounters at the heap, but Katniss simply hasn't had time for this kind of feeling to fester in her mind and body. She will come to crave it, love it even, if it's done right.  
  
Isn't Peeta the best example? How innocent he had been, fidgeting around nervously, that first time they met at the heap. Soiled his pants in front of Gale, blushing adorably pink. Barely able to meet his eyes, embarrassed at his obvious enjoyment of being caressed, skin on skin, having another touch him on his sensitive spots. The second time the blush wasn't as obvious. And the third time he timidly moaned Gale's name. They continued to go and Peeta got better at controlling himself, at riding out his orgasms. Stopped being afraid and learned to enjoy it, became a very active partner himself. Why should Katniss be any different?  
  
"Sure," Peeta replies and his voice just changes the slightest bit. Gale doubts he would have noticed if Peeta hadn't spent so many hours with him. "How could I ever understand your relationship? I get it. But you need to sleep. I promise I'll look after him, okay?"  
  
"We can't run," Katniss says softly and Gale has to concentrate hard because she walked over to wherever Peeta is standing, away from Gale, "I'm sorry that…I mean, I'm sorry that I continue to use you for comfort, time and time again when I know…know how you feel. It's unfair and unkind. Gale likes me, like that…."  
  
At that a dark chuckle leaves Peeta, "Who would've guessed? I know that. I've always known. Right now is not the time to worry about my feelings. Worry about Gale, if you must, but try to get some rest. I'll protect him while you slept. Won't let anything bad happen, I promise."  
  
Peeta's voice is like a healing balm and Gale feels better, comforted. Nothing bad will happen if the lil' one will be there to protect him. Simple as that.  
  
"I know," she says timidly. "I trust you. But Gale…."  
  
"You love him," Peeta states. "It's not hard to see. And I…"  
  
Gale holds his breath, almost expects Peeta to say, "I love him, too." But he wouldn't, would he? Is it the morphling? Makes him want to hear that Peeta cares for him, thinks he is precious? This is neither the time or the place to make that statement, that much is obvious even in his drugged state.  
  
"I do understand. He is a good man. You're both lucky, you know?"  
  
"Peeta.."  
  
"Just go to sleep, Katniss."    
  
Ruffling. Are they embracing? Gale opens his eyes slowly. Even that hurts. There is a creak somewhere, Katniss is making noise. Unusual, even if this is in her own house. He imagines she usually is silent, silent like he is.  
  
The kitchen comes into focus, Gale's eyes find a cupboard with a wide amount of medicine viols, carefully stacked next to an assortment of dried plants. Mrs. Everdeen's apothecary. Gale is lying on the Everdeen's kitchen table in Katniss' house in the Victor's Village. He has never been in here before. For some reason every family has their own scent. And even though the house is old, it kind of smells like the Everdeen's hut in the Seam. Like Mrs. Everdeen, like little Prim and like Katniss.  
  
"Pe…..taaa", Gale croaks and suddenly Peeta is there holding a glass of water with a straw to his lips. He drinks greedily, the cool water hurting his throat.  
  
Peeta sits down next to him and takes the hand Katniss was holding earlier into his larger one. His eyes are clouded with worry. The dark shadows beneath them show Gale that Peeta hasn't been sleeping well for longer than the two days he's been injured. ' _He's been having nightmares, again. Alone in that big house,_ ' Gale realizes and whimpers. He never made an effort to return, when he knew that Peeta had trouble sleeping. Sure, Peeta had told him to leave, but shouldn't he have tried to talk about it?  
  
"I've been me..meaning to talk…" he coughs and Peeta shakes his head.  
  
"No talking," he orders. "Relax please, and listen. I am so sorry about what happened between us after the tour. You were right, I was acting like a hypocrite. I thought I could have you both at first. No..that's not right. In the beginning I didn't think at all, only went with you because I was so lonely. And you offered to be with me, I felt happy, didn't think that much about what that really meant. For me, for you. And for our relationship with Katniss. Finally someone who cares, I thought. Someone only for me. But you weren't only for me, were you?"  
  
Peeta's voice grows quiet, a defeated look creeps into these endless blue eyes of his and Gale can't help; despite the pain; despite the hurt; he just can't help but notice that Peeta is a handsome boy. There is something magnetic about him. More than simple attractiveness. Peeta possesses something special and loving. Not that he hasn't seen it before, but today he looks especially cute. Sweet, worrying, caring. For him. Peeta swallows hard.

"And I knew. I knew and used you all the same, like I would've used Mia. I felt bad about going with her from the beginning. Didn't really want her. But she was so persistent, teasing me, so I thought if I just closed my eyes I could pretend it wasn't some girl from school, but the one I always wanted. I'm not sure if I would have gone through with it, even if you hadn't interrupted us. I'm thankful you stopped me. She's not Katniss and I wasn't being fair. Always hoping that Katniss Everdeen might come round, choosing me.. I was a pathetic fool, only acting on my own desires. And when it got serious, when you rightly asked for more, I rejected you. Words can't even express how sorry I am."  
  
"No.." Gale moans, feeling a headache coming. Peeta and him, they did the same thing. Using each other, hurting each other. And rightly asked for more? Peeta has a right to say no, and calling his own shots. He isn't compelled to act out every selfish fantasy Gale has. Letting another man intrude his body in that way, Gale can never blame Peeta for saying no.  
  
"Me too, I'm…" he croaks, barely able to get the words out. "Sorry…lil'one. For pushing you."  
  
Peeta smiles then and it is like the room suddenly becomes lighter, warmer.  
  
"Don't be," he says. "Please get healthy….when you're feeling better we'll have a real talk about our situation. But Gale…"  
  
He stops and looks longingly in the direction Katniss left a few minutes ago. Seems to make some decision. His voice is determined, while he strokes over Gale's knuckles with his thumb.  
  
"Gale, I've come to respect you. And….like you. I'm not sure how far these feelings go, they are different to the one's I have for Katniss. But I'm certain that I don't want to hurt you. And we both don't want to hurt Katniss."  
  
He pauses a while and looks around the kitchen, eyes searching for a solution.  
  
"S'okay," Gale mumbles. He feels weak, not strong enough to think or talk about what they are going to do now, where to go from here. One last thing he has to say though.  
  
"My family, please. Please help..bread.." he moans, panic rising in his chest. He's afraid, he realizes. He's told Peeta to stop harassing his family when he brought them bread but now he can't help but hope that Peeta doesn't hold any grudges.  
  
"Say no more," Peeta nods, "Katniss and I won't let them starve."  
  
He groans, thankful for having his family taken care off.  
  
"Sleep now," Peeta whispers, and Gale's eyelids grow heavy. For some reason it feels like he is drowning in beautiful soft green mosses of the woods.

* * *

  
  
The weeks that follow his injuries are tough on Gale. The toughest he ever lived through. The pain is so real that he can barely stand up. Peeta and Thom half carry him back to his mother's hut a day later. The peacekeepers already knocked on Hazelle's door the day before, questioning her about his whereabouts. There are new rules instilled at the mines. If you miss work for more than three days you can't come back.  
  
"Impossible," Katniss' mother tells him, a day later. "You need to rest, at least a week, possibly longer. Your back is an open wound. If coal dust settles inside, it will get infected. And then.."  
  
She doesn't have to end the sentence. He knows very well what happens then. But he needs the work, needs to work for the sake of his family. He can't afford to lose his job. Hunting can only get them so far, and now that peacekeepers are swarming around the district it is almost impossible to leave undetected. So he leaves for the mines on the fourth day, after his whipping to find little Primrose in front of the hut. She gives him a little vial containing morphling. He makes it through the day thanks to the drug. In the evening Mrs. Everdeen comes to clean his wounds. The pain is cutting, unbearable. He falls unconscious several times.  
  
He knows that the morphling comes from Peeta and Katniss. They're the only ones who can afford it and probably get it from the Capitol. It's ridiculous, taking drugs from the Capitol to help with injuries the Capitol caused. Peeta doesn't come to see him in the evenings, but brings bread to Hazelle during the day. She stopped being cautious of the baker's boy and even his siblings seemed to have warmed to him. Katniss visits every other day with her mother, but leaves the hut when he starts to undress. It's not him being naked but his bloody back that makes her face go green. It must look horrific. They don't have a mirror so he doesn't see.  
  
The work gets easier and after a while he doesn't need the bandages anymore. He thinks of going hunting again, but Primrose tells him the fence is on twenty-four hours. Katniss has injured herself when she tried to get back in. This is a catastrophe for a man that feeds his family with game. He doesn't have time to think about his situation with Peeta because not being able to hunt is the worst thing that could've happened.

He also has to be careful about the way he acts in the mines and when he talks with people in town or even Seam. He has a feeling that a new foreman was hired specifically to keep his eyes on him and that makes him nervous. It's like he is considered dangerous. The Capitol has eyes everywhere. When Katniss and Peeta won the Hunger Games they started to focus on the almost forgotten District 12. On those close to the star-crossed lovers. It wouldn't surprise Gale if they generated a file on him back when those camera teams came to ask him about Katniss. They are clever, they are cunning. He wonders if they somehow got wind of his relations with Peeta.

The thought makes him even more angry. His private life is his own business.  
  
The uneasy feeling of being monitored closely doesn't go away, and he tells his mother to be careful. His worries are more about his family than himself. And he worries about Katniss and Peeta. He has some horrible sense of foreboding that more trouble is in the making for them. He decides it is better to make himself sparse in the Victor's Village, for safety reasons. Still, he misses them badly.

Both.

 

* * *

  
  
On a moonlit night several weeks after his whipping he wakes in the middle of the night and looks around the hut, vision still unfocused. He dreamed of warm showers and sweet embraces. He doesn't know what woke him, Rory is snoring softly next to him. He is sleeping on his stomach, the skin on his back still sensitive. And then he feels it. He is hard. So hard, it is bordering on painful. His first instinct is to rut against the mattress. Rub himself to a quick release and get it over with. But Rory is next to him and he really doesn't want to. Especially since it's been a while that he needed to do this on his own.  
  
He slips out of bed and gets dressed slowly. It's Sunday. His usual Sunday routine is history, over. He hasn't been to the slag heap since...since _Peeta_.

When he talked to Laika, met her on his way to work, she told him that most of the couples avoid the heap these days. District 12 is swarming with peacekeepers and rumor has it they don't care if they find girls with their boyfriends. If they like a girl and see her at the heap they just take, no questions asked. If the boy protests, well, he makes acquaintance with their clubs or boots. Lately more and more of these disturbing tales reach his ear.

He won't go back to the heap. He won't do that to a girl. He is worried for Becca, Mia and all the other girls who are in danger of assault. Before they only had to worry about Cray, but old Cray never raped any girl, never took without giving at least some coins and only when the girls came willingly.

To be honest, he doesn't want to go to the heap again, not today, never. His dreams revolve about Peeta anyway. He wants to be with Peeta. All he really wants right now is to sink down on Peeta's soft bed, cuddle into these soft sheets and let his boy take care of him for a few hours. It's not hard to admit to himself that he wants to be with Peeta. Strangely, _too_ easy to admit. Even if it's only to himself.

Scribbling down a quick note to Hazelle, telling her he went to the Village, he puts on his jacket and leaves the hut.

There is a curfew in District 12, but Gale is a hunter. He knows how to blend in with the dark shadows of the buildings, hide behind the trunks, become one with the bushes. On yesterday's Capitol boulevard the topic of Katniss' wedding dress was brought up. It won't be long until Capitol people like that horrid Effie Trinket will be back here. If he wants to get Peeta alone, now is the best time to do it.  
  
The back door isn't locked. On silent feet does Gale climb the stairs and searches for the door to Peeta's bedroom in the darkness. He opens the door and finds Peeta in bed, seemingly asleep. Small snores leave the boy and Gale wonders what's the best way to let Peeta know he is there.  
  
The small sound of a moan can be heard and Peeta turns around. He is not wearing a pajama. A small pink nub is visible, slightly hardened, ' _His nipple'_ , Gale thinks, and his erection makes a reappearance.  
  
Undressing quickly he closes the door behind him and leaves his pants, shirt and underwear on the floor, slipping into the bed snuggling close to Peeta and snakes his arm around his midriff from behind, waking him gently.  
  
"Wha..?" Peeta groans, obviously half-asleep still. He only wears short boxers to bed, while Gale undressed completely.  
  
"Missed you," Gale whispers into Peeta's ear and presses his hard cock between Peeta's clothed ass cheeks.  
  
"Ga..Gale?"  
  
"Yeah, lil'one," he confirms, "Expecting someone else?"  
  
He chuckles, pressing himself closer. Peeta's body is warm, pliant. And he smells good. Gale kisses the soft hair on his neck and begins to palm the boy's soft cock through the boxers.  
  
"I've been thinking about you," he murmurs while he continues to rub him into hardness. The other hand finds Peeta's nipple, hefting it in one hand, pinching it gently.  
  
Peeta hums an approving moan. "Mmh..me too," he confesses to the darkness while circling his hips against Gale rhythmic pushes.  
  
"Yeah?" There is smugness in his voice and the wish to get Peeta to lose control tonight.  
  
"What exactly have you been thinking about?"  
  
"Uh," Peeta moans, caught between Gale's hand rubbing his cock and pressing his ass towards Gale.  
  
"Katniss' pussy?" he asks, "Her sweet little slit, soaking wet and ready for your hard cock?"  
  
Peeta shudders in answer, reacting to Gale's crude language. He may deny it, but Peeta always seems to grow stiffer when Gale gets explicit.  
  
"I've…no…I've been thinking..about…," he groans deeply.  
  
"Tell me," Gale demands. "Tell me now or I'll stop."  
  
He has no plans of stopping, enjoying himself way too much. Always loved to play with the girls at the heap, to tease them until they started to beg and with Peeta it is so much more satisfying. Watching the boy squirm like this nearly makes him come on the spot.  
  
"No. No please, don't stop. I've been thinking 'bout you..doing..what you wanted…" A short pause.  
  
"Earlier…" Peeta wriggles harder, obviously heavily turned on.  
  
Gale smiles to himself, knowing exactly what Peeta is referring to.  
  
"Say it," he commands, jerking frantically away at Peeta's cock, rubbing the rough fabric of the boxers against the hard shaft.  
  
"I jerk off, thinking about…you…fuck…," Peeta swears, panting, "fucking me, from behind..fuck…Gale, ah.."  
  
Gale grins and pushes away, taking the sheets with him, throwing them on the floor in front of the bed.  
  
Peeta twirls around, cheeks red, eyes still lazy from sleep, pants tented and stained with pre-cum. He looks angelic and so unbelievable hot. There is a puzzled look in his eyes, not understanding the game.  
  
"Take off your boxers and turn around," Gale says, making a fist to stroke himself with even pressure while he takes in this wonderful sight.  
  
Fear creeps into Peeta's expression, his eyes unsure and Gale knows for sure, that in this moment, Peeta is not ready. Might never be ready to do this, to go all the way.  
  
"Trust me," he says softly, leaning forward to kiss Peeta full on the mouth.  
  
"I won't hurt you," he promises and Peeta nods, pushing down his boxers. His cock springs forward, leaking almost transparent liquid. It's a lovely sight and Gale takes a moment to appreciate the fullness of Peeta's erect shaft in the moonlight. His balls look full, ready to release.  
  
"You have the most beautiful cock," he says aloud, shuddering. He didn't mean to say this, but it came out anyway. Peeta blushes, averts his eyes.  
  
"You didn't seem to like it that much back at the heap," he is saying in a hushed tone, rendering Gale momentarily speechless. Has Peeta taken his comment at the heap to heart?  
  
Clenching his jaw together, he decides to show Peeta exactly how beautiful he is. He slides forward and takes Peeta's chin in his hand, caresses him with his thumb. Their foreheads bump together and he looks deep into these impossibly blue eyes.  
  
"You're the most handsome boy in this whole fucking district," he insists, "don't let anyone tell you any different. Katniss knows it, I know it, everyone knows it. I've been a real ass back then, testing you. Same goes for the bullshit I threw at you when you came home from the tour. Don't listen to me, I'm an idiot…"  
  
"This is confusing. Should I believe you or not? Am I the most beautiful boy in the district or not?" Peeta whispers against his lips, eyes twinkling and Gale grins.  
  
"You are," Gale says and presses a warm kiss on Peeta's lips. "And do you know what I'm going to do? Make you feel really, really, really good." Gale presses kisses on Peeta's mouth for each _really_. "You deserve it."  
  
"What are you going to do?" Peeta challenges.  
  
"Depends," he half-whispers, "Tell me what you like. And then we go from there. I'm going to make you come hard tonight, lil'one."  
  
"Gale," he starts, fiddling with his fingers, stroking his abs nervously, "I don't know…"  
  
"I'm not doing anything that you don't want," Gale reassures once more and leans away.  
  
"We could start with me sucking you off. I wanna worship that beautiful cock of yours," he offers, admiring Peeta's well toned arms.  
  
"Maybe…." Peeta smiles and his cock twitches, gets harder still and Gale takes a deep breath, decides to take the lead. He moves forward.  
  
"Turn around," he repeats his earlier request.  
  
"Oh," Peeta exclaims in surprise. "This is new. I'm a bit self-conscious, I guess."  
  
"You can lay down, if you're more comfortable that way. You don't have to get on all fours."  
  
Peeta flushes pink, as if the idea hadn't crossed his mind before.  
  
"Okay," he whispers and turns around, lies on his stomach. Gale takes a moment to enjoy the view, takes it all in. Peeta's bottom is well formed. His ass cheeks are round and admirably full. Peeta clenches them nervously, and Gale can't help but notice that he unconsciously rocks his hips against the mattress. It's almost too much for Gale, too inviting.  
  
He slides down the bed, sitting on his haunches and pushes Peeta's legs apart to slide in between them, but Peeta turns around, craning his neck to see.  
  
"Wha…my….this is embarrassing."  
  
He pushes his mouth back into the pillow, hiding while mumbling to himself.

"What are you doing? My leg…." he whimpers.  
  
"Shhh," Gale soothes. "Everything is good." Putting his hands on each of Peeta's ass cheeks he begins to massage them gently, pushing the globes apart and together again.  
  
Peeta thrusts his hips into the mattress, performing the motion of love making, like in Gale's fantasy. He had planned to finger Peeta tonight, but thinks better of it. He doesn't have anything that works as lube or lotion. Peeta probably owns something that he could use, but he doesn't dare to ask.  
  
His hands find Peeta's shoulder blades instead, his beautiful back and he caresses him with sensual, sweet touches.  
  
Peeta sighs and wraps his arms around the pillow, enjoying the feel of another so close.  
  
Gently he aligns his body so that his cock rests between Peeta's cheeks, covering his whole body. He goes down and places his elbows next to Peeta's head, so that he can whisper into the blond's ear.  
  
"I'm not gonna hurt you," he says and Peeta gasps at the contact of their skin. "Just gonna rock against your back. Is that okay?"  
  
"Yeah," he grunts into the pillow and Gale begins to thrust his hips forward.  
  
 "Please," Peeta begs, "Gale..…please...take care of me."  
  
"I will," he answers and searches for Peeta's cock between his hips and the mattress. "Take care of my sweet…uh… lil'one."  
  
He buries his face in Peeta's neck and fists him harder than necessary, but Peeta's eager responsive pushing shows him he likes that.  
  
"Gonna make you cum so hard," he groans, his thrusts slow but powerful. The bed is creaking, pushing against the wall. He can feel Peeta pulsing in his hand.  
  
"Already?" he laughs.  
  
"Sorry…" Peeta mewls, the sound of his voice muffled.  
  
"That's quite alright," he responds, pressing against the head of Peeta's cock with his thumb, using the wetness to massage him, the slickness making it easier now.  
  
"The night is still young."

* * *

  
They are lying in each other's arms, heart rate slowing, sweat cooling their bodies. He has one arm under Peeta's back, who uses it as pillow, nuzzling his arm pit.  
  
Gale never felt this relaxed after he had sex before. And he didn't even fuck. Then, he realizes, that he only ever had sex at the slag heap. Never in a real bed. He suddenly feels even closer to Peeta, curiously in love. It's strange. He presses a soft kiss on Peeta's head and circles his right nipple with his fingers, pinching it gently. They have to clean up, but he doesn't feel like getting up at all, inhaling the scent of musky sweat and their cooling cum which stained the sheets.  
  
"We've got to tell her," Peeta says. "We've got to."  
  
He wants to argue. Deny. They don't have to do anything. If they tell Katniss, it'll be over. They will lose her. They will lose each other.  
  
All he says is, "I know."  
  
"I think we should do it tomorrow," Peeta continues.  
  
No. Not that soon.  
  
"Tomorrow?" he croaks.  
  
"Tomorrow is as good as any day, Gale."

Peeta's breath is warm against his biceps.  
  
"Don't you see? The longer this goes on, the more hurt it will cause. Isn't this tearing you apart? I'm having a real crisis about it. Can't sleep, can't eat. All I can think about is that I betrayed her. With you of all people! All my life I've only ever loved Katniss. And now there is you. It's extremely confusing. I have no intention of hurting her, but I think I already did. I did and I can't take it back. We have to tell her. There is no other way."  
  
"Even if it might mean losing both of us?" asks Gale, not wanting to hear the answer. It is hard to imagine Peeta continuing this if Katniss cuts ties with them. The pain, the guilt, no, it would be too hard to continue seeing each other.  
  
He knows Peeta is right, he knows they've got to talk to Katniss. But he doesn't want to. He can't help but imagine the hurt look on her face. He had a nightmare a few weeks ago, in which Katniss accused him of seducing Peeta.  
  
_"You took something that belonged to me,"_ she had said in the clearing in the woods, wearing that flame-dress from the Games. Her eyes were greyer than usual and her voice ice-cold. _"You took Peeta's love for me and transformed it into something sick and twisted. You disgust me. Taking my happiness away. Soiling his sweetness with your perverted slag heap ways. Doing this to me, after all I've been through. _You're a monster, Gale Hawthorne._ "_  
  
Then she started to laugh and her dress burned brighter, consuming her and he woke up in cold sweat, shaking from fear.  
  
Nightmare-Katniss isn't wrong. Not entirely. Peeta was a willing participant in their meetings, true. But Gale was always the aggressor. Took him to the heap. Made him crave the love of another man under the guise of learning how to please the girl he loves. He made him believe his skills wouldn't be enough to satisfy Katniss. He used Peeta's inexperience. Might've been that Katniss would've enjoyed to be with a more innocent Peeta, so that they could begin to explore sex together. Might've been that Katniss wanted a first time with a boy who only ever had eyes for her. And Gale robbed her of that.  
  
"Yeah," Peeta mumbles after a long time, "Even then."  
  
Playing with Peeta's locks in the dark doesn't soothe him, like it did before.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbles, "So sorry…"  
  
"What for?" Peeta looks up to him, smiling and his something in his chest squeezes painfully.  
  
He knows very well that he used Peeta. He is aware that the town boy is vulnerable, since that night at the heap. Peeta Mellark is desperate, that much became obvious in the last weeks. Desperate for affection, for any sign of love. He didn't get that from his family, he didn't get the physical affection he craved from Katniss. The cuddling and the selflessness of Peeta in the bedroom proves it. Peeta may not realize this himself, too eager to please. He would probably deny it if Gale confronts him, so he just keeps on caressing Peeta's curly head.  
  
"For nothing, lil'one," he murmurs, "Nothing…"  
  
They both fall asleep like this, arm in arm, scared, yet determined to tell Katniss the truth.

 

* * *

  
  
They decide to tell Katniss in the evening. There is a mandatory viewing tonight, a show about the star-crossed lovers wedding and some special about the Hunger Games. President Snow himself will make an appearance. They decide to meet later that evening, when Gale slips out of the house in the morning, leaving Peeta in bed, a quick peck on the forehead as a farewell. Peeta will ask Katniss to come over in the evening. Make cheese buns in preparation, to soften the blow, or so does Gale think.  
  
But when President Snow announces that the tributes for the Quarter Quell will be reaped from the existing pool of Victors, Gale runs out of the hut in the Seam and retches into the dirt next to their little garden.  
  
All hope is gone.  
  
The little dreams he harbored of Katniss being okay with a relationship between all three of them - gone. It's obvious to Gale that they can never tell Katniss. She has to go back into the arena. They can't confront her with what they did, can't force this knowledge on her before she has to battle for her survival for the second time.  
  
Gale never thought much about Haymitch Abernathy, but he wishes for nothing more than for the drunkard Victor to go into the arena. His Catnip and his Peeta, both of them can survive - if one stays out as a mentor. But Peeta will never let that happen, he is similar to Gale in that regard.  
  
Gale doesn't go to the Victor's Village that night, positive that Peeta and Katniss will comfort each other, need each other with no outsiders intruding. He hates that he is an outsider in this, cannot truly understand and share the experiences they've gone through, they will go through again. Not that he wants to. He wants to soothe both of their broken hearts, that is what he wants. To help them any way he can. The probability of losing them both is too high. Nobody survives the arena a second time.  
  
When he returns from work the day after Katniss and Peeta are waiting for him on the porch of his hut. Posy is out, playing some game with Peeta involving a red thread and hands. Katniss jumps up when she sees him and walks over to him, looking pale around the nose. Gale can't help but take her into his arms when she is near.  
  
"Oh, Catnip," he groans, pressing her small body closer to his.  
  
"It's okay," Katniss says, awkwardly returning his hug, "Gale…" She pushes him away gently.  
  
"Look," she whispers, anxiously checking if Peeta is watching them. "I'm sorry. He insisted on coming with me."  
  
Of course, she is still not comfortable with both of them together at the same time. What would she have said if they told her?  
  
"We are here to ask you a favor," she continues, quietly so that Posy can't hear.  
  
"Don't worry," Gale reassures, smiling at Peeta and Posy, still deeply enthralled in their game and then looks back at Katniss. "'I'll do anything."  
  
She looks tired and pale, but for Gale Katniss Everdeen is still the most beautiful girl and he doubts he will ever want to be with another, even if she rejects him. She is special and her heart is good. He will do anything she asks of him. Anything.  
  
"We want to train, Gale. We need to train. Will you help us? Will you help us train like the careers?"  
  
Jaw clenching, he gives her a determined look. He will train them. Make them harder. Make them survive.  
  
He must.  
  
"When do we start?" he asks and Katniss gives him a thankful smile, taking his hands in hers. Her gaze finds Peeta and Posy who stopped playing the game with the red yarn. She squeezes his hand tightly.  
  
"Right now," she answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Training together, for the Quarter Quell. Will Gale and Peeta continue their relationship with Katniss so close to them? What do you think? ;)


	6. In the Victor's Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale and Peeta spend their last weeks together before Reaping Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. As I'm having some troubles with my story The Red Letter Box I worked on this Chapter to distract myself and just finished it. It's in the nature of a ForestFairy fic that things get sad and angsty sooner or later. Forgive me. If you love this stuff, you'll like this Chapter and might feel a bit of excitement for a fic that is certainly not your average THG story. So without further ado...enjoy Chapter 5: In the Victor's Village.

The heat is suffocating. Thick. It's not even summer yet - the reaping weeks in the future. District 12's citizens are not used to this early heatwave. One can see even the odd Peacekeeper regularly 'forgetting' to wear their helmet.  
  
The sun is setting when Gale enters the Victor's Village and finds Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch Abernathy on the porch of Peeta's house, each wearing a set of exercising shorts and tight black T-Shirts. Katniss' signature braid is loose, hanging lifelessly down her back. She sucks the last bit of liquid out of some orange bottle. Abernathy looks like he is short of fainting, while Peeta remains the only one left standing. Sweat trickles down his face, his expression strict.  
  
"Do you want to rest? Or do you want to survive? What is it with you, Katniss? You thought you got everyone impressed with that tough girl act, but you turn out to be a weakling, after all," he sneers.  
  
He is so obvious in his manipulation that Katniss can only roll her eyes at him, not gracing his insult with a reply.  
  
"And Haymitch," Peeta continues, turning to his mentor, "You have barely made it to twenty sit ups, when the plan was a fifty and, hey.. where are you going?"  
  
Abernathy stands up and staggers towards his house, not looking back.  
  
"I'm going to sleep, boy," he snaps, his voice tired.  
  
"Look, who's 'ere."  He points at Gale, "Someone new to torment. See you."  
  
And with that he is gone. Peeta's eyes meet Gale's, lighting up. His eyes flicker towards Katniss, who is untangling her braid, and when he is sure she doesn't pay attention, he gives Gale a look that makes his heart flutter. How is he able to do that, with just the blinking of his eyes? Despite the heat, a small blush forms on Gale's cheeks. He coughs once and then moves closer.  
  
"How is it going?" he asks Katniss, ignoring Peeta.  
  
"Oh, hi Gale," Katniss rasps, "Didn't see you there, for a second."  
  
Beginning to braid her wavy hair, she tightens the dark strands. Sweat is running down her face and he watches, fascinated by a small, liquid bead that drops from her chin into her cleavage. His eyes grow large when he sees Katniss' two mounds moving up with her arms, pressed neatly together, clad in what he guesses must be a very tight bra. Only on TV, in the gown she wore in the Capitol had Gale ever seen her tits like this. Full. Ready to be fondled. His mouth goes dry, and his hands twitch. He wants to see her all bared for him, her nipples, dark and perky, those tight little nubs exposed, those sweet little peaks raised towards him, tempting and….  
  
He looks away quickly, aware that his cock is stirring and that's something he doesn't want her to see. Instead his gaze meets that of Peeta Mellark and his cock shrinks, as if he jumped into ice water. There is pain in Peeta's eyes. A hurt he hasn't seen before today. His face changes the second their eyes meet, Peeta smiling again, that horrible smile he sports when he is hiding his real feelings, his anger - or his pain.  
  
"Hello Gale," he says, voice steady, betraying no emotion, "Ready for some workout?"  
  
"Peeta," Katniss groans from the left. "Let Gale rest for a second, okay? He just got here."  
  
Her voice is high pitched and - surprisingly - annoyed.  
  
"It's okay Catnip," he says, "I know time is an issue."  
  
"No, it's not," she insists, "I need some rest, okay? This pensum is too tough on me, especially when it's humid like today. And you had a twelve hour shift in the mines. I think we should call it a day."  
  
"But.." Peeta tries to intervene.  
  
"No buts. Enough is enough," Katniss says, looking longingly to the opposite row of houses, "Gale, do you want something cold to drink? You can come to my house, Prim made lemonade."  
  
Gale looks from Peeta to Katniss and back again. Confusion is building up inside of him. What is happening between these two?  
  
"Eh," he hesitates, trying to catch Peeta's gaze, but the town boy studies his shoes. He looks back at Katniss.  
  
"Okay?"  
  
"Then come on," she says, even holding out her hand. What the hell?  
  
He takes it and she drags him over to her house. Before they go in, he sneaks a short glance back at Peeta who is still standing there, shoulders slumped, studying his shoes as if they're the most fascinating artwork he's ever seen. Something in Peeta's posture makes his insides clench painfully, but then the door is closing and he is in Katniss' pleasantly cold house.  
  
"Phew," Katniss exhales, "This heat is killing me."  
  
She meets his gaze. "I'm sorry. I know, the mines are worse. I shouldn't complain."  
  
"S'alright," he says, following her into the kitchen. "What about…why didn't you invite Peeta?"  
  
"Because I need a break from that little slave herder," she says, opening the fridge and taking out a flask of lemonade. "He's been insufferable, Gale. He doesn't let us rest. Haymitch almost fainted from exhaustion earlier. But do you think he cares? No, it's only, ' _You got to try harder'_. Each day, every hour. I'm sick of it."  
  
"But Catnip," Gale says gently, "He only wants you guys to survive. That's why he is so strict with you."  
  
She pours him a glass of lemonade and slides down on one of the chairs. "I know." Her voice turns softer.  
  
"He wants me to win. I should be glad that he hasn't given up on himself completely. He pushes himself to the limit, too, with his leg. But I also want to see Prim. My mother…..and you. These might be my last days with you, these might be my last days - period. I don't want to spend them doing crunches."  
  
"Oh, Catnip," he whispers.  
  
"It's alright," she says, licking a drop of lemonade from her hand, changing the subject.

"So, how is your mother doing?"

* * *

  
  
Gale spends the evening with the Everdeens. Katniss' mother arrives later and instructs her youngest daughter to rub in some healing ointment onto his fading scars on his back. They play a card game until Prim starts to yawn and Mrs. Everdeen announces it is time for bed. He says goodbye to them, and hugs Katniss on the porch. She watches him leave, so he walks through the gate of the village, waving back at her. When she finally closes the door, he turns around and creeps through the darkness, around Peeta's house and lets himself into the kitchen, like he did so many nights before. The house is silent. _'Like a grave,'_ he thinks, and shudders. Peeta isn't dead yet. He is alive. Here. Somewhere. It's dark in the house, but Gale has been here enough, to know where to go. A ghostly shimmer seems to waver through every corner of the old building.  
  
He climbs up the stairs and sees no light shining under the doors in any room. Has Peeta gone to bed? It's still early…He goes forward and opens Peeta's bedroom door, immediately making out the silhouette of a boy standing in front of the open window.  
  
"Hey," he says and Peeta turns around, making Gale gasp. He is stark naked.  
  
"Hey," Peeta answers, "I've been waiting for you."  
  
"Really?" Gale asks, perplexed, "I thought we decided not to continue…this."  
  
They met once, after the Quell announcement, a few minutes before Katniss joined them with Haymitch for a lesson in snare building. They had exchanged a few awkward words, and agreed that they should focus on training and try not to get distracted. Which was easier said than done. Being close to one another and being close to Katniss at the same time wasn't only confusing to Gale, it was also highly arousing. But usually the thought _'They are going to die,'_ worked as a mood destroyer and Gale had no problems holding himself back.  
  
"We did. But I had a feeling you would come to me anyway," Peeta smiles and cocks his head to the left, "Don't you wanna make out a bit? Enjoy me, one last time?" He steps closer, and Gale feels himself growing hard. Peeta is almost close enough to kiss, he can look him in the eye.  
  
"Look down," Peeta orders and he follows the request.  
  
"That's right," his boy moans, and presses a kiss on Gale's adam's apple, "Your lil' one is not so little now, huh?"  
  
Peeta's cock is standing erect, dripping with need.  
  
"Peeta…"  
  
"Yeah," Peeta replies, "This is all for you, Gale. Only you can make me that hard, that _'needy'_. Didn't you promise? Told me you would teach me about sex?"  
  
Gale manages a nod and Peeta begins to unbutton his shirt.  
  
"You are a skilled teacher. Taught me all there is to know. All there is to know about a girl's body. Every night I jerk off, thinking about it. Gale did this." He presses a kiss on Gale's nipple.  
  
"And Gale did that," he kisses the other, licks a circle around it, and nibbles it lightly with his teeth, biting it gently, "Oh, I go crazy with need when I think about all the things we did together."  
  
He continues to undress him, opens up Gales fly with deft fingers, "I love your cock," he whispers, and touches Gale's bulging undershorts. "Sucking you off was like a dream come true. I can die happy, remembering the taste of your cum on my tongue."  
  
Gale certainly enjoys the attention and smiles, when Peeta pushes down his shorts, but somehow….something is off tonight. Peeta isn't usually that forward, talking dirty. He is active in bed, but this seems almost like….seduction.  
  
Weird.  
  
"Come," Peeta says, and takes him by the hand. He walks over to the end of the bed and then lets go.  
  
"Watch this," he says and climbs on the bed first, but then leans over the edge, knees on the ground, ass raised towards him and Gale's cock swells into full hardness at this visually very stimulating sight.    
  
"You can fuck me in the ass tonight," Peeta says towards the wall, "Like you fucked the girls on the heap. Like you want to fuck…." his voice breaks, "...Katniss."  
  
And suddenly Gale sees that this is wrong. This is not the Peeta he knows. He doesn't know what exactly this is, doesn't understand what brought this on. His cock is still hard, painfully so. Everything in his body seems to scream, _'Go. He's asking, he's begging, what more do you need…'_ And even Peeta, seems to read his thoughts, feel his hesitation.  
  
"Ride me, Gale," Peeta's voice is almost inaudible.  
  
This submissive act…. Peeta knows exactly what drives Gale wild in bed. He regularly had a hard time holding back his orgasms when Peeta put on that demure look, left his mouth slack for kissing, offered his neck in a vulnerable gesture to let him suck on it. In short left it to Gale to dominate their petting.

Submitting his body to him like that….Peeta is trying to get him forget everything about the situation, obviously wants him to follow his more primal urges, for some unknown reason.  
  
"No," he says and takes a step back, not wanting to play along. Peeta turns around in what seems like slow motion. There are tears on his cheeks.  
  
"Why not? I'm ready."  
  
"No. You're not," Gale shakes his head. This is not right.  
  
"Take me before I go to die," Peeta whimpers, "Take me hard until I bleed."  
  
"Wait a minute…" The bad feeling returns full force. This is not good. Make him bleed?  
  
"Don't go gentle," Peeta croaks, "Because this is the last time….the last time in my pathetic life that I'll ever get to feel something.... Please."  
  
"Stop it, lil'one," Gale yells, through the eerie silence of the house and then remembers the window is still open. Tears run down his own face, as he swallows hard. He turns around, takes a second to compose himself and closes the window, not needing anyone to overhear this. Then he turns around once more and walks to where Peeta curled himself into a ball on the bed.  
  
"Please," Peeta sniffles, "I need it….Why won't you help me?"  
  
Gale sits down, on the edge of the mattress. Next to him, unsure of what to do. His poor Peeta. Fuck the Capitol.  
  
"Why won't you?" his boy repeats, followed by a sob.  
  
"Oh, lil'one," he whispers and tucks a blond lock behind his ear, stroking his head.  
  
"I only want her to survive," he whispers, "Why can't she see?"  
  
"She knows that."  
  
"I want you two to live a long life. Grow old together. This is my plan…but why does it hurt so badly? Seeing you, looking at her, like that. Why am I so jealous? I do it all the time, every minute we are together. I imagine all sorts of stuff…and then I get angry when you do the same."  
  
"That's natural, Peeta," Gale says. "You don't have to be ashamed about these feelings."  
  
"Is it? Or is it only selfishness? The worst thing about it is that deep down, I'm scared. Wanna protect her. But I'm frightened to the core of my being…I don't want to go in again. Gale, I…in reality I…" He pauses.  
  
"…I don't want to die," Peeta whispers finally, as if he's been thinking this all along and only now, in the darkest of nights, naked with Gale in his bed, seems to confess this fact to himself. Gale almost laughs. It's ridiculous, his boy is ashamed - because he is not having a death wish, wants to survive. He is just seventeen years old, damn it. But this situation is so serious and grave that the laugh gets stuck in his throat.  
  
"My lil'one," Gale says soothingly and continues to stroke through the blond locks, "This is not selfish at all. The Hunger Games and the arena…all this is unfair. You have a right to be angry, and you have a right to be and stay alive. A right to live. It's the Capitol, they are the ones who destroy all these lives, all the hope and the future of the districts."  
  
Peeta looks at him, eyes still swimming with tears, sniffling.  
  
"C'mere," Gale says, opening his arms and Peeta gets up slowly, as if he's a hundred years old.  
  
"Here, sit on my leg." Peeta moves closer and positions himself sideways, sitting on his lap, legs caught between his. Gale gently strokes his back, enjoying the feeling of  Peeta's balls rubbing against his bare thigh.  
  
"Why won't you?" Peeta whispers into his ear, asks this question for a third time.  
  
"Because you want it to be her, lil'one," Gale says, nuzzling his cheek. "You've always wanted it to be her. I'm not going to take that away from you."  
  
Peeta begins to play with the hairs on his chest.  
  
"It's not going to happen," he says, and hangs his head in a defeated gesture, "Not in this life."  
  
Gale shakes his head, "You don't know that," he retorts. He must think of a way to distract Peeta from the horrible darkness, the bleak thoughts that control his mind, that shape his reality since the announcement, and then an idea hits him.  
  
"Have you noticed how hot Katniss looked in these tight trainers?"  
  
"What?" Peeta still seems to be caught in a web of dark feelings. "Why?"  
  
"Didn't you see that wet stain between her thighs? Wouldn't surprise me if that was more than sweat, down there. You being all bossy all day. No wonder it gets her juices flowing. Bet she couldn't wait to get away because she wanted to finger herself. Bet she is thinking of you ordering her to strip, to expose herself to you. Can you see her lying down, getting rid of that restricting shirt? Can you see her massaging her little tits? She is definitely fantasizing about you. Begging for you to suck on her nipples, dreaming about your tongue, coating them generously with your spit."  
  
He is back in his element. Dirty talk about Katniss is Peeta's favorite. This is the perfect way to distract him.  
  
Peeta twitches on his leg, rubbing back and forth and Gale grins to himself.  
  
"She would love that, wouldn't she? Having your talented mouth on her, that would be a dream come true for any girl. She would take off her slip, her bare pussy already soaking wet. Ready for you," Gale continues, softly. "Katniss would slip her fingers inside, open her lips to show you…everything. Just for you, she starts to touch herself looking at you through these grey eyes… and then….she would beg for you to finger her."  
  
"Gale stop," Peeta moans, but his returning erection and the way his whole body jerks, squirms in need of friction makes Gale think that he doesn't want him to stop after all, "Don't do this…"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Where are you?" Peeta counters.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Where are you, when I'm with Katniss?" Peeta's eyes are closed, he seems lost in the fantasy, "Are you watching us?"  
  
"No…I mean, maybe…I don't know," Gale hesitates. This is something Peeta never asked before when they fantasized about Katniss.  
  
Peeta opens his eyes and looks at Gale, "You watch her, don't you?"  He sighs, the pink on his cheeks, fading, "Her and only her…."  
  
"That's not true, Peeta," Gale says quickly, "We share. Yeah, we share her between us. You suck on one tit and I on the other and we both finger her pussy at the same time. That's how it is."  
  
Peeta raises an eyebrow and Gale suddenly realizes that this sounded awfully clinical, almost scripted. Like he never thought about it and just made it up in this moment to come up with a reciprocation. But that's not true. He did think about watching Katniss and Peeta before.  
  
"Okay," Peeta says, looking down at his slowly softening cock. "That sounds nice."  
  
Gale feels panic rising in his chest. How can he make Peeta see that this is not about his fantasies with Catnip? That this is about Peeta….how?  
  
"No," he says, "Forget it. Forget Catnip. Tonight, there is only us. And that's not a fantasy, it's real. Let's not think or talk about her anymore, okay?"  
  
"How is that even possible? It's always all about her. She is the reason why you talked to me in the first place. She is the reason why you offered to be with me. You openly disliked me before…"  
  
"That's bullshit. I like you. I like you a lot. You're sweet and kind. And nice. I could never hate you," he pleads, knowing that in all these little accusations some element of truth remains.  
  
"I wouldn't have returned here every fucking night if I hated you. I love being with you. You're important to me, lil'one," he tries to explain and leans in for a kiss, but Peeta turns his head away and he huffs out a breath of frustration. How can he be that stubborn? He grabs Peeta's chin, turning his head back.  
  
"Stop it. Aren't you the same? Don't you dare to blame me, because I love Katniss too."  
  
His hand leaves Peeta's chin to slap it over his mouth.  
  
That was…. a confession. Of love. He just told Peeta Mellark that he loves him.  
  
Peeta blinks once, then twice but otherwise doesn't seem very fazed. Gale wants to take everything back. He can't just simply tell Peeta that he loves him. Maybe it's the truth. Maybe not. But saying something like this is huge. He shouldn't have done it. He tries to gently untangle himself from Peeta, shove him off his lap, but the town boy wraps his arms around his neck and moves closer and gives him a kiss on his eyebrow. Gale is strangely aware of Peeta's body in this position, his artificial leg, his cock, his balls…his bare ass pressing against Gale's thigh.  
  
"Will you let me suck you off?" Peeta is already nuzzling his neck, pressing short sucks on the side.  
  
"Mmmhh, yeah," Gale moans, happy that Peeta decided to let it go, ignore what he said - not make a big deal out of it. He doesn't seem to feel pressured to say it back either.  Starting to play with Peeta's testicles, Gale pets the regrown pubes gently and then forms a tunnel with his fist. Peeta positions himself, pushes his cock inside to get back into hardness, "Let's do this. I wanna blow you, my sweet lil'one. I'll make you cum first."  
  
"Not fair," Peeta chuckles against his lips, rubbing himself against Gale and he smiles. Peeta stands up and moves back on the bed, making Gale's rub the thigh he sat on. He is heavy.  
  
"Do you wanna be on top?" he asks from the bed, voice suddenly shy and Gale shakes his head.  
  
"Let's do it lying on the side. That's more comfortable for both of us," he says, unconsciously taking over the lead again, returning to that familiar pattern.

When he takes Peeta into his mouth he focuses all his energy on making this the best blow job he possibly can. It's harder because he gets distracted by Peeta's gentle sucking, but he tries to stay focused. He wants to give Peeta a night to remember. A night where he feels loved and treasured, maybe for the first time in his life. It's another reason why he doesn't regret his confession of love. If that makes Peeta happy, even for a few hours, then there is no problem. Maybe it'll even help him fight for his own life in the Quell arena. Gale tries to put all the energy into loving Peeta that night. Make him lose count of the times he comes and only leaves in the early hours of morning when the birds begin their songs of a new day.

* * *

  
  
The night before the reaping arrives faster than Gale likes. Every free minute he has is spent in the company of Katniss and Peeta, and occasionally Haymitch Abernathy, whom he secretly hates for being a weakling. Years and years of alcohol abuse make it obvious that he won't stand a chance in the arena. If he would be more fit, it might've been possible to make Peeta rethink his plan to volunteer as tribute. But as it is, even with Peeta's leg he is leagues above Haymitch's level when it comes to physical fitness.  
  
He returns to Peeta's bed every night. It is impossible to stay away. Peeta doesn't beg to be fucked again and no matter how much Gale longs to bury his cock between those beautiful, soft globes, he knows, deep down that they shouldn't. Maybe Katniss will show Peeta some affection when they're in the Capitol. He almost feels sorry for Peeta, as Katniss often scowls at him, moans about the training, or refuses to show up on time. He knows she's under a lot of pressure. It must be harder for her, knowing that she won't even have a choice. Her odds aren't fifty-fifty, she definitely goes back in. He wonders how she's coping some days, but then he sees Prim waving to them and the smile is back on Katniss' face. Katniss gets her strength from the love she has for her sister. Peeta's family doesn't show up once. He spends a lot of time with Haymitch, and Gale believes that the older victor took over a more fatherly part in Peeta's life, as his own father seems to have forgotten his son exists.  
  
He goes to the Victor's Village after work and helps them in every way he can. When he returns to Peeta's bedroom at night he is often too exhausted to move. They cuddle most nights or do some slow kissing, sometimes jerking each other off lazily, playing with their cocks. But mostly the night ends with Peeta sucking him to completion and them falling asleep in each other's arms. He feels guilty, because he doesn't have the energy to return the favor most nights, but Peeta reassures him that he loves to do it, that it doesn't matter. On these nights he falls asleep with Peeta jerking off quietly, while they look into each other's eyes, Peeta's soft moans the only sound echoing in the huge dark house in the Victor's Village.

* * *

  
  
They don't have to work on the day of the reaping, it's Sunday. The mood in the district seems light. He wonders why that is and only then realizes that this is the first year in living memory that the kids of the district don't have to be scared of their name being called. No matter if they took tesserae or not, this year they can sleep soundly. Unless their names are Katniss Everdeen or Peeta Mellark. Gale doesn't blame the kids, starting with his brother Rory. It's cruel and he swears that no matter what will happen to Katniss and Peeta, he cannot stand for it much longer. The Hunger Games have to stop. Snow's government has to be stopped. And soon. ' _Even if it's too late for my loved ones,'_ he thinks. _'There are so many left who don't deserve growing up in fear.'_  
  
Gale cleans himself and dresses in his old reaping clothes. He has plans to visit both Peeta and Katniss in the justice building, before they leave. Tell them to look after each other. And even….that he loves them. He told Peeta before, but thinking about it clearly the day after, he thinks Peeta might've misunderstood. Did not recognize the meaning of a confession like this. He didn't react to it, never mentioned it later. He wants to take them both into his arms embrace them tight.  
  
He refuses to think about the odds. That he will most definitely lose them both. And that the chance of one of them coming out of this as a winner is almost nil. President Snow didn't orchestrate this Quell so that Katniss can get her happily ever after. No, he wants to be rid of her, in the most effective way. What better way to do it than let other Victors kill her? Turn the Districts against each other instead of turning against the Capitol. Typically not getting his hands dirty.  
  
And Peeta? What chance does he stand against seasoned Victors who are skilled at killing and have no scruples? The leg still slows him down, the training hardly effective.  
  
No, the chances are not good. But he can't dwell on this fact or he will go insane, or worse start crying when it's time to say goodbye. Since his father died, he has cried once. Since he's been with Peeta he realizes, he has cried several times. With him. Because of him. Gale shudders. Peeta Mellark has had an effect on his life. He knows he can never return to be the Gale Hawthorne he was before they met on that cold winter night. The guy who took countless girls to the heap….and still. He loves to have sex with girls and can't imagine stopping that.  
  
Fact is that he hasn't been with a girl since winter. Peeta Mellark's bed was too warm, too comforting, too satisfying. No need for a girl. It's a strange thought, that being with a boy is making him happy like that.  
  
Deep down he knows that Peeta is not only just some boy whom he used to satisfy curiosity. Just like Katniss isn't just some girl he decided to love, because he found her attractive.  
  
They mean more.  
  
Both of them.

* * *

  
  
Gale shouldn't have worried. After Katniss is reaped and Peeta volunteers for Haymitch, they are quickly taken away. He can hear Primrose screaming somewhere in the crowd. Long after Katniss disappeared from his sight does he finally dare to blink. Now they are gone. For good. He turns around and walks back to his family, waiting for him at the edge of the street.  
  
Reaping Day and once more the heat is suffocating . But Gale Hawthorne's heart is frozen. He feels numb. Weirdly detached. Staring at a pair of peacekeepers, walking past them, he has to work hard to keep his expression neutral. He feels like a pawn in a game. And he has no idea who is playing or why. His hate towards the Capitol is the only torch that could melt the numbness, he knows.

 

* * *

  
  
Gale doesn't dare to miss the viewings of The Hunger Games at the town square. Back in the first Games his heart was beating wildly for Katniss. It was all about her, he didn't give a damn about Peeta Mellark, even secretly hoped he would die. So that Katniss would be free of the baggage. Could only look after herself. But Peeta had helped her out. He had kept her alive and saved her. Just as she saved him. Watching this Quarter Quell is almost maddening. Worrying about two people he loves, he'd rather work all day in the mines, not seeing any of this. He doesn't want to know if they are dead. Because with their death, hope dies.  
  
A few people hesitantly ask him if he's okay. He appreciates the kindness, he really does. But they have no idea that Peeta and Katniss didn't secretly marry and made a baby. He doesn't even wonder for a second if there is any truth in it. It's simply the desperate try of Peeta to stop what he knows that can't be stopped. Maybe they found some solace in these last days before the Quell. Maybe Peeta could finally fulfill his wish to be with Katniss, to have sex with the girl he loves so much for the first time.  
  
When he watches Peeta and Katniss kiss in a recap of the daily highlights, he knows instinctively that this is the first time they've ever kissed like this. Katniss seems to be a bit clumsy at first and it looks like Peeta took his lessons to heart.  
  
_"This is how you kiss,"_ he had told Peeta one evening at the slag heap and they did nothing but kiss for hours until both of their jaws were starting to ache. The way Peeta whimpers in response to Katniss tongue in his mouth makes his cock swell a bit. It's like he can almost taste Peeta's saliva, feel his tongue playing with his and whimpering for _him_ , begging for more.  
  
More of _Gale_. Or for more affection. Gale doesn't know which it is. The situation is what it is, so he has no reason to question his feelings for Peeta or the boy's motives when it came to their relationship. Has Peeta felt what he felt? Did he crave Gale, the person? Or only affection and love, no matter who gave them? They won't see each other again and there are more important things to worry about. His family. The Everdeens. And the future of Panem.  
  
That's what he's thinking about when he is in the mines, deep down under the earth, every day, each day during the hot summer of the 75th Hunger Games. Whispers reach his ears, whispers that make his hands sweaty, and his heart pound with positive excitement. Something is moving, something is happening. Finally.  
  
While most of his fellow miners looked away when he had been whipped, these days they look at him with respect in their eyes. Kind of like you would look at a leader. They seem to ask him questions, hidden behind words that are seemingly innocent. It's frustrating that he can't help them. That he doesn't have a plan, no clue, no information about an uprising in the district or some underground group. He can only disappoint people and shrug, when they pester him, with questions that appear just a tad too innocent.

 

* * *

  
  
It's an early morning, when Gale is awakened by high pitched croaking. A flock of crows are making a fuss outside so he turns to the open window to shoo them away. A small airplane can be seen in the distance, and Gale stares at it in wonder. Other than hovercrafts he has never seen any flying objects over the District. He doesn't think much of it, turns back inside when he hears the signal of a leaving train. From the not so distant station. An unscheduled train in District 12?  That leaves at 4 in the morning? He decides to investigate, puts on his shoes and runs out of the door to look at the tracks from a smaller hill, some Seam kids used to slide down from in winter when he was younger. He can just make out the train rushing past and can see inside for a short second.  
  
The passengers are men - wearing white.  
  
Peacekeepers.

Leaving the District.

The foreboding, the tension he felt for weeks reaches a new high. Every nerve in his body is tense, alert. Something bad is going to happen. Soon. He has no idea what, but he knows he has to get his family out of here. Fast.  
  
Gale Hawthorne starts to run.

* * *

  
  
"Are you alright, Gale?" Laika asks softly, touching his arm. He looks up at her and shakes his head.  
  
There are too many, so many he couldn't save. He couldn't find Namy the first girl he made love with. He didn't see Becca or Billy from the mines. So many lost, so many dying in the chaos. He stares out of the small window of the Hovercraft that brings the people of District 12 to District 13.  
  
"I'll leave you alone," she says and turns away, towards her husband. Mrs. Everdeen and Primrose sit side by side on the floor. His mother is holding small Posy, while his brothers look scared and confused. The bombs, the heat, the fire. He will never forget. And he will never forget the screams of those who didn't make it. Most town people. Beautiful blond Madge Undersee, with the sad eyes. And….the Mellarks. Perhaps his biggest regret. He couldn't save them. They are dead, burned to the ashes in their bakery. Erased by the Capitol. Forever. And he is also at fault. He didn't make them priority.  
  
"Forgive me, lil'one," he murmurs to himself, when fatigue overwhelms him and he falls in an uneasy sleep, high up in the clouds over a country newly shaped by turmoil and finally, yes, finally…  
  
Rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, uh...a rebellion. Gale will be in his element in District 13. What does that mean for his relationship with Katniss? And what about poor Peeta, left behind to be taken Prisoner by the evil president? Where will this end?


	7. In Tigris' Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hijacked Peeta is rescued by the rebels and Gale's hatred against the Capitol clouds his jugdment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. But I guess with the release of the last movie ~~sob~~ , a Gale/Peeta fanfic is the last thing you wanted these days, haha. I hope you enjoy Chapter 6: In Tigris' Basement.

When Gale looked back at his time in District 13 many years later, he never could quite pin point where it all went wrong. It’s easy to make excuses, but in all honesty every decision and each step that he took in District 13 had been carefully thought through. And it all seemed right - at the time. It all seemed clear. Destroy the Capitol. The end justifies the means, and Gale could only admit to himself years later, that he’d been wrong, but back in Thirteen and during the rebellion it didn’t seem that way.  
  
He remembers feeling confusion, sadness, anger, excitement and, although it was hard to admit it, fear. It had really been a rollercoaster of emotions, when he was told about Katniss being rescued.  
  
"What about Peeta?" he had wanted to scream at Haymitch Abernathy, who pretended to care, but obviously didn't. But he never did. He never let anyone know about his anguish. About his thoughts. About his nightmares. His mother was getting worried about him, he knew. In these days he kept distancing himself from his family. Often found himself seeking out Katniss' company. After a while even that didn't soothe him. It was obvious that Katniss couldn't handle the separation from Peeta. She never told him about her pain. Was she in love with Peeta? Did she love Gale? Or maybe both of them? She never opened up. And so he didn't either. He didn't even know what he could have said, how he should have talked to her about it.  
  
They showed an interview with Peeta and Caesar Flickerman on Capitol TV. Peeta got worse and worse during these interviews and Gale felt sick to his stomach.

They were torturing his boy.

They were doing who knows what to him in that horrible place.

Guilt was another painful emotion during these days. Guilt about his pursuing Peeta. Guilt for what they did in Peeta's house in the Victor's Village. He never wanted to go there in the first place. Peeta had insisted on them meeting in this house, which had never really been Peeta’s to begin with. It had been comfortable and cozy, but in hindsight a bad idea, to spend so much of their time there.  
  
Katniss wasn’t a big support in these days, so Gale found himself drawn to Beetee Latier, the technical genius victor, who was bound to a wheelchair through the destruction of the Quell Arena, after talking to the man at lunch one day. Beetee had casually mentioned that the Capitol had all the Victor's houses bugged, so they had opted to keep Peeta and Katniss in the dark, about the rebellion. Gale had gone pale and excused himself quickly, running to one of the few public bathrooms and retched is lunch up.

The Capitol _knew_. They knew everything that had happened between Peeta and Gale, had heard every word exchanged, every fight they had had, every time they had met for their more passionate adventures. It wasn't hard to imagine that Peeta would be paying for these short hours of love, in the worst possible way.  
  
Katniss became the Mockingjay.

Gale should've been proud, but he only felt a certain emptiness and anger at himself. Whenever Peeta turned up on TV again, each time detoriating more he wondered when he would crack. And maybe, some part of him feared that the Capitol would exploit that the star-crossed lovers were just a scam. That Peeta Mellark hadn't been dutifully in love with Katniss, that he didn't marry her, that they didn't make a baby. No, that Peeta Mellark had never gone that far with a girl, that he had been with Katniss Everdeen's cousin, who was not her cousin at all.  
  
Gale didn't care about his own reputation or image. If that came out he could live with it - he survived worse. But how would that affect the Districts? Katniss position as the Mockingjay? And - most importantly - Katniss herself? During these long days underground Gale understood one thing quite quickly: Katniss wasn't as strong as everyone wanted her to be. He understood that. But Plutarch Heavensbee and Alma Coin didn't.  
  
Katniss was short of collapsing. There was only one thing that could be done to get Katniss back on track. Get Peeta Mellark back to her. When Heavensbee announced they were searching for volunteers, Gale was the first one to enter the hovercraft. He had been going slightly crazy without Peeta by his side. He needed to try to get him back alive. He owed that to Peeta, to Katniss and to himself. Rescue his lil'one - or die trying.  
  
It had been easy, too easy and Gale had felt it from the moment his feet touched the Capitol ground. That this was some sort of trap. He didn't know yet, what kind of trap it was, but oh, he would learn it sooner than later. Deep down, in the training center of the Capitol they had rescued a skeleton like creature, he later learned was Johanna Mason. And a woman called Enobaria, also a Victor of the Quell. And in the farthest corner, bruised, unconscious and beaten was Peeta. Gale nearly sobbed when he saw him. It couldn't be. It hadn't been that long. A few weeks, months at most, since he and Peeta had last pleasured each other in Peeta's bed. He knew Peeta's body and this was a pale imitation. He was so small, so light….it had been shocking. Gale had cradled Peeta into his arms and refused to let go of him until the returned to District 13 many hours later. He had wanted to be with Peeta when he woke up, but Katniss looked so ecstatic and happy when she came into the infirmary that he decided not to intrude. He would talk to Peeta later.  
  
Then all hell broke loose.

* * *

  
  
Gale spent his weeks with training, training for his mission. They would go into the Capitol and they would overthrow the government. They would kill Snow. Gale didn't really think much about morals or right or wrong during these days. Destruction was all that was on his mind. It was all he could do to forget about what happened. Strangely enough he became closer to Katniss at that time. At daytime they spent every minute together, training hard, going to the Districts. Preparing for war. At nighttime he and Beetee planned different things.  
  
Military times were strict here, and usually Gale did everything they told him. He agreed with the lifestyle and even enjoyed it. Alma Coin, the rebel leader had taken a liking to him. He felt, in a small corner of his mind, proud that she trusted him. Authorities, like teachers or peacekeepers, or even fore workers in the mines never made him feel worth much. He was just another boy from the Seam whose life plan would be to marry some gal and produce life fodder for the Hunger Games, while he himself would work himself to death in the mines - for the Capitol. But in District 13 he felt like someone of importance to a cause. The cause to overthrow the government. He could finally make them feel the pain he suffered since childhood. Changing the world seemed possible, just within his grasp. If Peeta and Katniss wouldn't have existed, he could've been happy. Happy with himself and his role, free for the first time in his life. Yes, it wasn't at all bad in Thirteen was it?  
  
He had only visited Peeta once, a week after Peeta had attacked Katniss, nearly strangled her to death - nearly killed her.  
  
Hijacking they had called it.  
  
Gale had a hard time believing that something like this was even possible. Until he saw it for himself.  
  
It had been midnight and pitch dark in the long corridors of Thirteen. His sleeping quarters were a long way back from the hospital wing where Peeta laid, in a strait jacket, strapped to the bed. There was only one nurse, sitting in front of the window when Gale arrived. He had chosen this hour because he didn't want any witnesses to this. The nurse raised her eyebrows when he stated his name and that he wanted to see Peeta, but then shrugged as if it wasn't her business and pushed the button so that he could enter. Strangely enough it was bright as day inside. He wondered how Peeta could relax or even sleep in this bright light, but for some reason they kept the light on.  
  
Peeta wasn't asleep. He was awake and he was staring at Gale. Not saying anything. Only staring, out of these hollow eyes. Gale shuddered.  
  
"Peeta," he said, "Hello."  
  
Peeta didn't answer. There was only the humming sound of the electric light, which flittered in the background.  
  
"Do….do you remember me?" he asked. It was a stupid question, really. Or maybe not. As far as Gale knew, Peeta remembered a lot of his old life. That wasn’t connected to Katniss.  
  
There was a blond girl from District 12, a town girl that kept visiting Peeta. They told him her name was Delly Cartwright, daughter of the deceased shoemaker. Another girl of Katniss’ and Peeta’s class. Peeta had never mentioned that blond girl. She was friendly, even blushed a bit when he had talked to her before. Her personality kind of made up for her not so beautiful face. She certainly didn't look like Katniss or Gale, or even Mia. She was far from Peeta's type. And Peeta had never mentioned this girl, Delly, when they had been together, so it was safe to say that she was really just a childhood friend. Still - Gale had been feeling jealous of her from the moment they had told him, that she and Peeta had been friends. He imagined all kinds of things. Maybe she was that busty type of town girl he often imagined Peeta would have taken to his house. Exactly the type of girl he had forbidden Peeta to see. _'You're not to meet with a girl again, only Katniss,'_ that was what he had told Peeta. Never knowing if Peeta did what he was told or not. He had spent so much time in the mines. What had Peeta been up to during the day?  
  
Peeta kept staring. And then he answered, voice rough, "You're Gale Hawthorne."  
  
"Yeah," Gale affirmed, quickly. He wasn't sure what to ask, or say next. _'Do you remember us?'_ or _'I'm so happy to have you back, lil'one'_ were obvious choices. The nurse was listening and he didn't want to see Peeta go crazy and answer questions from the doctors about their topic of conversation. If conversation was even possible. Peeta’s eyes were bloodshot, he looked positively lunatic. Gale wondered if he had trouble sleeping without any drugs. Maybe he had been addicted to his daily dose of tracker jacker venom, resulting in cold turkey since his arrival in District 13. They certainly wouldn’t want to waste any precious medicine to help Peeta Mellark come down from drugs. Even though Peeta had warned them about the attack, he was far from popular in this place.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Peeta said, when Gale realised he had been staring into these blue eyes without saying a word for minutes.  
  
"I came to visit," he answered, trying to interpret these neutral words.  
  
"I can see that," Peeta said coldly, "Why though?"  
  
Good question. Impossible to answer. Gale didn’t know what to say and moved closer to the bed. Gripping one metallic bedpost in his hand.  
  
"Wanted to see you," he mumbled, staring at the blanket.  
  
Peeta huffed out something between a bark and a laugh.  
  
"Stop touching the bedpost," Peeta said, making Gale take away his hand quickly, "Leave. I don’t want to see you."  
  
Gale felt a little pressure in his bladder, cursing that he didn’t go to the toilet before coming here. His hands became sweaty and it felt like all the air has left the room.  
  
"Peeta, don’t you remember…?" he began, not sure how to end the sentence.  
  
"Oh, I do. I do remember, Gale Hawthorne," Peeta hissed and his voice was venomous, almost silent. "Go now. Go to your mutt. Deserve each other. You two do."  
  
Gale met Peeta’s eyes, shocked. "Don’t look at me like this. I don’t care if you fuck the mutt. Just don’t you dare to fucking touch me, Hawthorne. Don’t want you to touch me with these dirty hands. Stop. Stop it. Go…now.. away…"  
  
"Peeta," he began, " Lil’ one…" There was obvious a pleading edge to Gale’s voice, he couldn’t help it.  
  
"I wanna help you. We can talk about Katniss. Or not. We can…also talk about us. Or stay silent together. Please listen to me."  
  
Peeta pushed his head against the pillow repeatedly.

If he was starting seizures, Gale didn’t want to be caught in here.  
  
"Mutt. Lover….Muttlover. First me, then the mutt, then me, then the mutt…bad. Disgusting. Where is my family? Delly? Delly. I want Delly…go away, you fucker. Muttfucker…me and the mutt, you and the mutt…evil…"  
  
Peeta was mumbling by then and Gale fled the room. The nurse gave him the evil eye, preparing a syringe, finally giving Peeta something to make him sleep.  
  
Why they didn’t turn off the lights, Gale never knew.

* * *

  
  
Did Peeta remember what had happened between him and Gale after the Hunger Games, back in Twelve?  
  
No words of it reached Katniss, however and when Peeta appeared in the Cafeteria a few weeks later, under guard, shackles around his wrists he only stared at Katniss and mentioned Gale as an afterthought. It was unbearable. Gale didn’t know what to do, and was honestly afraid of going back to the hospital room. Katniss all but abandoned Peeta after a while. Gale could see it in her eyes, the thing keeping her alive wasn’t Peeta, it was the wish for vengeance. Killing Snow, destroying the Capitol, Gale threw himself in sinister plans and darker thoughts. Katniss and him seemed closer than ever before, but also strangely distant. It was like she had opted out. Did she entertain suicidal thoughts? He couldn’t quite think she would, as long as her family, her Prim was here, she wouldn’t, would she?  
  
Training was the only thing he still enjoyed. At night the nightmares came. He knew he was abandoning Peeta, but the thought of talking to him gave him cold shivers instead. No, he must forget Peeta Mellark. Forget that he exists, forget what they had. No one should ever know. Whatever it was that they had it was gone anyway. The Peeta Mellark he had known, had loved, was gone. Left only a shell. Like that Annie Cresta who seemed mentally not quite there. How anyone could marry under these circumstances he would never understand. He didn’t quite like the strange pair of Annie Cresta and Finnick Odair. Or Johanna Mason, another victor who made him uncomfortable with her cruel words and blunt honesty.  
  
Plans of invading the Capitol were getting more concrete.

* * *

  
  
Gale leaves Alma Coin’s office the night before the allotted leaving, walking down the long corridors when he spots the grey figure of a girl in front of his family’s rooms, sitting on the floor.  
  
Delly Cartwright.  
  
What does she want?  
  
"Hello," Delly says shyly, looking up. He looms over her, a giant.  
  
"Hello," he answers, points to the door,"Wanna come inside?"  
  
Delly shakes her head, makes her blond curls wiggle slightly, "No, no. That’s not necessary. I don’t want to disturb anyone. I wonder…"  
  
She pauses, looking down the corridor on both sides.  
  
"I wanted to talk. I don’t know, if you remember me that well. I’m Delly. From town, a classmate of Peeta and Katniss’."  
  
"Yeah," he says, a little too quickly. "Wouldn’t forget a lovely girl like you. I’m Gale."  
  
"Of course," Delly giggles, as if it’s impossible not to know his name. Her giggle is light and airy, makes Gale wonder how a girl who lost her family and her home in a horrible inferno only weeks ago can giggle like this. 

He is used to Katniss’ sullen moods by now, and none of the girls he’d been with so far were carefree. It feels like it's been decades since he last flirted with a female. Delly is Twelve through and through. Sure she’s not Seam, but she talks like home, different to the Thirteen people. He resists the urge to push one golden lock behind her ear. It’s been too long. Kissing Katniss a few times was a distraction, wasn’t enough. He shakes his head and his eyes fall on Delly’s tits. They are full, that much he can see under the grey overall. Bigger than any girl’s he’s ever been with. His cock twitches and he smiles at her.  
  
"Do you wanna go for a walk?" His voice is lower, deeper. His seduction voice.  
  
"No," Delly answers, but smiles back. "I wanna, I mean, I need to talk to you. I’m Peeta’s friend. It’s important that we talk."  
  
Of course, Delly is not here to make out. He knows this, but his body has different ideas. He wonders if he should ask her if she’s been with Peeta. And if she has, if he can taste his boy on her lips. If she sucked Peeta’s cock and if his seed is still there in her mouth, heavy and metallic, wonderfully delicious to those who love him. But these are only his dirty little thoughts. He doesn’t want to hurt this girl, the only one who is still looking after Peeta. The only one who has not abandoned him like he and Katniss did.  
  
"Do you know Mia Wolk?"  
  
He didn’t expect that question. Of course, he knows that Mia has been saved and lives here in Thirteen now, but he hadn’t spared her a thought since the last time he saw her in Twelve. She just wasn’t on his radar.  
  
Wait. Mia is the only one who knows about Peeta and his connection, maybe connected the dots by now.  
  
"Yeah," he answers.  
  
"Mia visited Peeta in his room last night," Delly starts to sweat, the air in the corridor dense. "Said she knew him from school, and other 'business' they attended together. She is in our class, but I’ve never seen her and Peeta interact before. So, I thought this was weird, but I couldn’t very well voice my objection."  
  
Delly is obviously a follower who trusts in the authorities. Gale wonders how that must feel. His thoughts go back to Mia. If he would only have more time. He would visit that Mia and make her remember that she should mind her own business.  
  
"When Mia came out she," Delly gulps, "was rude. She said a few mean things, about Peeta, about kids from town. And she mentioned you. Said something about the lines of, well…she hinted, that you know…. That you’re closer than friends."  
  
"Oh?" Gale says. Damn that Mia. Why did she say that?  
  
"Yeah. So I went back in and Peeta was very confused. He asked me questions. Questions I do not know the answers to. I don’t know what to tell him, Gale. And to be honest, it makes me uncomfortable. I didn’t tell the Doctors about this, yet. And I don’t know if I should."  
  
"What did he say, Delly?" Gale says, fearing the worst, just wanting this to be over, some part of himself still wondering if Peeta ever sucked those tits of Delly’s.  
  
He’s slowly going crazy.  
  
"It was a bit confusing. He asked me if he’d been with Katniss. Like this, you know," Delly blushes, making it obvious that she’s pretty virginal herself, and all his dirty thoughts about her couldn’t be further from the truth, "Obviously I couldn’t answer that. And I don’t want to. When I asked what exactly did he remember, he said he thinks he did stuff with Katniss. But then he stopped and looked around in confusion, saying that he thinks he’s been with Mia, too. And that…"  
  
"What, Delly?" The girl’s eyes are red, puffy making Gale realise that this is hard on Delly, that she is suffering.  
  
"I’m sorry, I mean this all sounded so weird, it’s probably the hijacking, right? He said that he only wanted someone to love him," a tear runs down Delly’s nose, "And that they had forced…I mean, in the Capitol they made him listen to tapes of you and Katniss. "  
  
"Tapes?" he gasps, eyes burning. 'He only wanted someone to love him'  
  
"Audio recordings," Delly nods, looking scared now. Audio recordings of Gale and Katniss? How is that even possible?  
  
But then he remembers the Quarter Quell and Prim’s voice. It must’ve been too easy. He even helped along, through his dirty talking in Peeta’s house. They must’ve used his and Katniss’ voices.  
  
"They’re not real," he mumbles, embarrassed that Delly thinks he could’ve had sex with Katniss. He shouldn’t care about her opinion but some part of him doesn’t want this girl to think him a selfish bastard, too.  
  
"That’s not all," Delly says, "He began talking to himself, like he was two people again. He sometimes does this. The doctors are still unsure why. This must be fake, like you said - not real. Oh those Capitol people are horrible. I’ll never understand why they did this. They made him believe that he’s been with, well, you too."  
  
Delly looks mortified, as if the mere thought of it was out of the realms of reality. Maybe it is, for a town girl of District Twelve. A thought so impossible, she can not even comprehend that this is a possibility.  
  
"He kept talking on how he was used. Like Katniss and you were in on some scheme to hurt him. It wasn’t pretty." Delly shakes her head. "I’m glad it’s not true, this. I never believed it and told him so several times. I thought I should warn you though, that he believes this to be true, especially since Mia visited. She must’ve told him something… Do you think I should tell the doctors? Or Mr. Heavensbee?"  
  
"No, Delly," Gale shakes his head. "It’s not something they should know. I will talk to Peeta, when I come back."  
  
_'If I come back'_ , he thinks. He is under no illusion that he is going on a mission that might just end with him in a coffin. He thanks Delly and goes to bed in his quarter, where all family members reside in bunk beds. One last night, with his loved ones.  
  
He lies down on the scratchy mattress. What Delly told him, he can’t really understand. Doesn’t understand the scope of it all. How that hijacking worked. What Peeta believes is real. He just wants to talk to him, tell him the truth. Make him see. The truth though, what is the truth? What is real? Was what they did real? Why did they even do it at all? If he can’t even answer the questions for himself how would he ever convince Peeta, that what they had was real? It’s obvious that Peeta won’t believe a word he would say. He’s probably so damaged that he won’t be able to think straight. Talking to himself, like he is two people.  
  
Maybe he should visit Peeta before they leave tomorrow. But where lies the sense in that? Gale decides not to go, for entirely selfish reasons. Because it would hurt too much, because the Peeta Mellark he knew is gone. Forever.

* * *

  
  
When Peeta appears in the Capitol, walking into camp with a gun on his back, Gale cannot believe his eyes. Are they crazy at the Headquarters? What does Coin think she is doing? Sending a mentally damaged boy like Peeta into a war zone, together with Katniss. It makes the mission harder, so much harder. He only had to worry about Katniss before, now he can’t help himself, must also look after Peeta. Strange thoughts of jealousy swirl through his mind. Katniss is cold to Peeta, but he seems drawn to her, trying to connect with her. And - forgetting Gale in the process. He wonders if Katniss is as indifferent about Peeta as she pretends to be.  
  
He offers to kill Peeta.  
  
Not because he wants to do it, he could never. No, he wants to test Katniss to see how she reacts. She disagrees, but he can see the truth in her eyes. She is afraid. But still, there is a spark in her. Something that tells him that she didn’t give up on Peeta. He has always suspected that Katniss likes Peeta more than she let on. She is a woman who is not very emotionally open. Doesn’t show her feelings, doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeves. Either way, this Katniss, the Mockingjay, this girl really does love Peeta Mellark. Gale is not entirely convinced that she knows it herself. The thought, though, doesn’t hurt as much as before. A future with Katniss - everything he imagined they both could have one day, it'll never happen. Hell, he probably won't even survive the next day. So romance is the last thought on his mind, when they fight their way through the Capitol streets, losing one member of the squad after another through horrific pods, nightmarish mutts and traps that only convince him to kill as many of these bastards as possible. There can't be any goodness in the Capitol. They are all evil. Who in their right mind constructs these kind of death traps? No one sane that much is for sure.  
  
There are only five of them left. Five.  
  
They find shelter in a shop in the inner city, are helped by a weird Capitol woman called Tigris. Gale doesn't trust her, wants to get out of here as soon as possible, but they have to rest. They have to eat and tend to their wounds. The emotional, as the physical. Gale hates to see how Katniss and Peeta seem to get closer again, but tries to subdue these emotions. It's neither the time nor the place. Katniss falls asleep in between Tigris furs and he can't help but stare at Peeta, who is cuffed to a pipe behind him.

What does he think now? His lips look dry, his eyes bloodshot. What happened with Mitchell and even back in the sewers, when he didn't want to go on, must've been torture for his hijacked mind. Now, that Katniss is sleeping it might be his only chance to talk again, to gently probe Peeta and maybe, to say a last goodbye? They are not going to survive this. That much is obvious.  
  
"Do you want some water?" he asks, making Peeta look up at him, a lost look in his tired eyes.  
  
"Yeah," he says, gently.  
  
He moves closer and puts the bottle against Peeta's lips, swallows as he watches him drink eagerly, remembering kissing these lips and feels nothing but sadness at the thought.  
  
"Thanks for the water," Peeta says.  
  
"No problem," Gale replies. "I wake up ten times a night anyway." That's not entirely true. He doesn't wake, he just can't sleep. Peeta seems to ponder that.  
  
"To make sure Katniss is still here?" asks Peeta.  
  
_'No, to make sure you're still here and to watch you sleep, because that's the only thing that is bringing some kind of peace to my mind'_ , he thinks but answers. "Something like that."  
  
"She loves you, you know?" says Peeta. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."  
  
_'And you?_ ' Gale wants to scream, _'What about the things you told me after they whipped me?'_  
  
"Don't believe it," Gale answers instead. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell...well, she never kissed me like that." And it's true. The only one who kissed him like that, had been Peeta.  
  
"It was just part of the show," Peeta tells him, but Gale can hear an edge of doubt in his voice.  
  
Gale doesn't want to talk about Katniss any longer. He wants to talk about them, about their relationship. Peeta says something about Gale being like Katniss' family, but he only listens half-heartedly. He disagrees about Katniss, but lets him talk.  
  
"I wonder how she'll make up her mind." Peeta says and Gale's heart breaks. Without a warning, just like this.

It was _Katniss_ all along. All along, all along.  
  
Peeta Mellark is still in love with Katniss Everdeen.  
  
He thinks that the Capitol made it all up, or he would have reacted in a different way.  
  
Gale suddenly feels cold, even down here in that stuffy basement, between all that fur. Cold and hurt, and treated unfairly.  
  
Wasn't _he_ the one who loved Peeta? Who chose him?  
  
Wasn't he the one who visited him at night? Who took care of Peeta, when no one else gave a damn? While Katniss and her family enjoyed their live in the Victor's Village? While the Mellarks were absent and Haymitch Abernathy drunk in his house?

Who was the one who visited no matter how tired he was, no matter how much his own family needed him?

Who was the one that _cared_?  
  
And now, it is always Katniss. Katniss this and Katniss that. Who will she choose and who will she love. For Peeta only that seems to be of importance.  
  
"Oh, that I do know. Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without."  His words come out more harsh than intended, but he doesn't care.  
  
And he knows very well who that is. Peeta Mellark.  
  
He was blind and too stupid to see it, although the last weeks made it crystal clear that Katniss Everdeen just isn't Katniss Everdeen without Peeta.  
  
She does need Peeta to be happy. She doesn't need Gale.  
  
And Peeta?  
  
He does need Katniss. He doesn't need Gale.  
  
Peeta believes that their time together is some weird unreal hallucination created by the Capitol to befuddle his mind. Peeta doesn't remember or, most likely, doesn't want to remember. There is only one person in this world left that Peeta cares about, whose opinion of him is important and who he loves.  
  
And that person is not Gale Hawthorne.  
  
"Gale?" Peeta asks after a while, fingers flexing.  
  
"I'm trying to sleep, Mellark," he huffs, turning away from the boy and his wounded look. His eyes are burning and a small tear runs down his own face. Stupid, all of this is stupid. He steels his heart. _'Don't bother'_ , he thinks. It's all for naught.  
  
"There are some things, things I'm confused about, like they are not shiny. But it's impossible - all of this is and with Katniss...."  
  
"Figure them out on your own," Gale hisses, too hurt to care about the sharp intake of breath from the left, not wanting to hold Peeta's hand when the baker's son made every effort to connect with Katniss and left Gale in the cold, as if he isn't important at all.  
  
Peeta doesn't care.  
  
So Gale Hawthorne decides that he's going to be the selfish one this time - and also stop caring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this doesn't feel too rushed, but I hate to rewrite canon. I copied a bit of dialogue from canon in this chapter, so please forgive me for that. Thanks for supporting TLA, it means the world to me!


	8. District 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale receives an unexpected call after midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for a time jump, in this seventh chapter, ominously called 'District 2'. I have no excuse.

Gale startles, when he sees the girl. Rubs his eyes. This can't be, this can't be her. She turns around, blonde braid swinging and giggles, a youthful, sweet sound, clear as a bell.  
  
The girl walks closer to where he is sitting on a bench and only then does he see, that her eyes are green, her nose is too long and her freckles too dark. She turns, skips over the gravel and disappears down the little path, passes the newly planted oak trees out of the park area he is checking today. He doesn't know how long he's been staring after the girl when the little mobile device in his jacket starts to vibrate.  
  
It's been two years and he still didn't get used to these sudden intrusions. They never even owned a telephone in District Twelve. Now, he is getting calls, wherever he is, whenever. He takes the device out of his jacket and flips it open.  
  
"Hawthorne?" says an impatient male on the other end of the line, "Hawthorne? Can you hear me?"  
  
Gale opens his mouth to answer, but all that comes out is a croak, a pathetic sob, a sound so unlike him, that the voice on the other end of the line says, "Oh, I'm sorry. I must've dialed the wrong number. Excuse me." and hangs up.  
  
Primrose Everdeen is dead.  
  
And it is all his fault.

 

* * *

 

 

He waits a few more minutes before he calls Sanders to let him know that the park can be used for the festivities. Paylor has announced that she will make an appearance as well, so the press will definitely be here to show Panem what a beautiful place District 2 has become. There is a discussion about changing the seat of government to District 2. Having it here would certainly be convenient for Gale. He wouldn't have to commute to the Capitol every other week. He and most people of the party agree that using the lavish Capitol facilities is sending the wrong message to the citizens. On the other hand, Panem has much more pressing problems. Building a new seat of government would be hard to communicate. Some people, especially refugees in the Capitol are nearly starving. It would be presumptuous to ignore that the Capitol does exist, and still has many intact buildings that can and should be used.  
  
Sighing, Gale checks his watch. It's not even lunch time and he is already exhausted. Exhausted and sick of it all. The party wants him to be some sort of poster boy. As a war veteran, close to Alma Coin, involved in the downfall of the old and erection of the new government he is invited for interviews, talkshows, whatever floats Plutarch or Paylor's boat. While all of this was kind of okay during the first few months after Paylor's election, he feels fatigue and anger, and usually refuses when they want him to be on TV these days. The past he tried so hard to ignore, the past he didn't want to let in, is slowly catching up with him. He's afraid. That he won't be able to do his job if this continues. Seeing her, on every street corner. Hardly sleeping, hearing her screams. The guilt he tried to suppress, he feels it more every single day. And that guilt it has changed.  
  
When Katniss asked him if the bomb was his, the look in her eyes made it clear she would never ever be with him that way. The way he wanted. Because that was all that he had going for him, the protection of Katniss' family. The pain was real. But that pain in those early days wasn't the pain he is feeling now. It has taken a year until he grasped the whole horrific thing he had done, even if he never knew if Coin had really used his and Beetee's bombs. He had planned this and killed innocent children and people alike. It wasn't about his relationship with Katniss. It was about the destruction of a future for countless individual children. One of them Primrose who would never grow up to be a doctor, never grow up to be a scientist, never grow up to shape this country or just live the life she would have liked to live. While Gale was alive and got all these chances. He woke one night, drenched in sweat, almost screaming when he realised that there was only one way to redempt. To make this somehow better, without killing himself. And that was to prevent a repeat of something horrid like this to happen. He worked even harder then, tried to make himself irreplaceable to Paylor. Never again, he swore to himself, never again.  
  
That didn't stop him from seeing Primrose Everdeen passing him by on street corners, sitting in one of the little cafés or driving on the train every now and then. That didn't stop him from lying in bed every few months, unable to move, drenched in sweat, sobbing helplessly, work an impossibility.  
  
And that didn't stop him from ignoring quite a dozen advances of women and even some men who showed that they were definitely interested in being more than just friends. He couldn't. Couldn't anymore. What was once part of his life, something he thought he could never live without, almost disgusted him now. If it wasn't for his work he would've become a social recluse. As it was he worked all day, every day and only went to his apartment for a few hours of sleep every night. Life became grim and cold. This was his redemption. And the worst thing about it was that he knew, he was fooling himself. That what he was doing here, was merely a distraction. A distraction that had nothing to do with the death of Primrose Everdeen.

* * *

  
  
His mother is nearing fifty. She doesn't know exactly how old she is. Somehow her birth certificate got lost when she'd been a toddler, and as she was the seventh child of her parents they never cared. This circumstance made her partake in eight reapings instead of seven, because the peacekeepers didn't believe her to be eighteen after her final reaping. This is a story she told him shortly after his father had died. She took him into the bedroom and opened the drawer.  
  
"These are your siblings birth certificates, Gale." she told him, "If anything happens to me, make sure you'll keep them safe."  
  
Now she is standing in his kitchen and looks younger than she ever did in District 12.  
  
"I brought you oranges," she smiles at him, "Vick and Posy are absolutely crazy about them. A new supermarket opened next to the orphanage. You wouldn't believe the selection of fruit and vegetables they have. This is heaven compared to market day in District 12."  
  
Gale smiles back. His mother lives here in Two now, in a big house with another family who she befriended in District 13 and is close to since then. Together they opened an orphanage for children who lost their parents during the rebellion. The orphanage is sponsored by the government, one of their pet projects. His mother loves the work, loves to be there for the kids who all adore her. It seems like she has found her calling in life and he is extremely proud of her.  
  
"You need your vitamins," she says and sits down at the kitchen table, peeling an orange, "I'm worried about you."  
  
"You know how it is, Ma," he says, "Working for the greater good."  
  
The scent of the orange is intoxicating. "You must take care of yourself. You look like your father did after a few years done the mines," she shakes her head, "This can't be healthy, Gale. That your work is so exhausting that you don't have time to live anymore."  
  
"Who says I'm not living?" he asks curtly, stealing on of the orange wedges.  
  
His mother sighs and looks around the kitchen, "Is there...anyone?", she asks hesitantly.  
  
"Anyone?" he asks, deliberately not getting the hint.  
  
"A girl, I mean," she says and when he doesn't answer, adds "Or maybe, a boy?"  
  
Gale nearly chokes on his orange wedge. "Ma," he groans.  
  
"I'm just saying," she gives him a long look.  
  
"That I shouldn't waste my youth? Or what?" Gale feels himself blushing. 'Or maybe, a boy?' His Ma is almost scary.  
  
"They are living together," she says, trying to catch his gaze, "You know, in her old house in District 12. Katniss and Peeta Mellark."  
  
Gale starts to sweat.  
  
"I know." He didn't, but that's that. He doesn't want to talk about them. Doesn't want to show his mother how much that information shocks him, affects him. They are living together. In the same house. The same bed.  
  
"Maybe," she starts again, "Maybe you should take a vacation. Go to her. Talk to her. You still...I mean, it's been two years. Maybe Katniss has grown up and she is able to..to understand. Let you go."  
  
"Let me go?" he laughs, "Oh, Ma, believe me she let me go. Quite good."  
  
"She might want to forgive. I think it would do you good, to talk. So that you can move on."  
  
Gale shakes his head. Hazelle doesn't know. Even that comment about _'a boy'_ , was simply guess work. And she thinks that he's still infatuated with Katniss. Which he is, in a way.  
  
"Don't we all want companionship? Don't we all _need_ someone to love, who loves us back? I know, baby, you think you don't deserve this after what happened. But you do. I only want you to try and find happiness. It's what you fought for, a better future, a happy future. You shouldn't be alone and lonely."  
  
"I'm not lonely. I have you," he grumbles and Hazelle laughs.  
  
"Oh, Gale. You've been independent since you were a little boy, but don't believe that I didn't know what you were up to at night. Don't think I didn't notice the girls loitering around our hut, looking for you. I know all about that, I was young once. And I certainly didn't want to spend my precious time with my mother or siblings when your father was anywhere near me."  
  
"That doesn't mean that's all there is to life," Gale says, annoyed. He can't very well tell his mother the real reason why he isn't interested in a relationship.  
  
"Work is then?" she asks, handing him the last orange wedge.  
  
"Yeah," he answers, "Work is."  
  
Hazelle looks sad, collecting orange zest in her hand.

"Okay," she says, "Okay." He knows she's not happy with his answers, and she only wants what's best for him. She cannot understand, cannot know that what he wants most in this world belongs to Katniss.  
  
And that he would rather die than rob her of her most beloved treasure.  
  
Again.

* * *

  
  
A few nights later he stumbles back into the apartment, barely able to stand on his feet anymore, exhaustion in his every bone. He almost misses the stupid work in the mines. One didn't have to think too much, down there. It was almost therapeutic in that darkness. He has to go on a trip to the Capitol tomorrow and still needs to pack. It's after midnight when he searches for his duffle bag under the bed. A shrill, annoying sound, makes him jump.  What is that?  
  
He looks around and then he remembers the telephone in his kitchen. That phone has never been used. He didn't even know it was connected to any net. All his work contacts and his family call him on his mobile device. He wonders where the heck the caller got his number from. He doesn't even know his own number and he's barely here to answer the phone.  
  
Curiosity makes him run to the kitchen and take the receiver, "Gale Hawthorne," he says and almost expects some cold call, someone who wants to sell something.  
  
The caller immediately hangs up.  
  
Is this some sort of joke? Calling in the middle of the night to hang up? What was that? He stares at the receiver and then hangs up himself. He has no time to waste with this nonsense. He needs to sleep.

* * *

  
  
Gale forgets about the phone call until he is woken up by the shrill noise of the telephone, three weeks later. One look at the alarm clock tells him all he needs to know. It's a few minutes after midnight. He contemplates ignoring the ringing, but the noise doesn't stop, so he goes into the kitchen and answers the phone, sleepily, "Gale Hawthorne."  
  
The caller hangs up and Gale stares at the receiver. Is he still asleep? This is not funny. Who has this number and why are they doing this? Maybe someone out there is looking for revenge? Maybe this is someone who hates Gale and wants to torment him? He swears to himself, that he won't answer the phone the next time it happens.  
  
In the end he does. It happens more frequently, weekly. And then after three days. At first he thought he might hear something at the end of the line, but the person always hangs up after he states his name, so he can't hear any breathing or background noise, things that could help to place the call.  
  
He has a suspicion. But that is unthinkable. She wouldn't. Would she? She might. Might be too afraid to say something. He is not sure, but this is the reason why he always answers the phone. That if it's her, she knows he is here and he is willing to talk. About anything.

* * *

  
  
Another braided Primrose passes him by that night, sitting on a bench of a tram station near his apartment. Smaller this one, maybe twelve. Same age as when she had been reaped. Finding his way back he can't get the image out of his head. Prim. So sweet and small. So innocent. Tears and snot run down his face when he takes out his key to open the door and there is that ringing sound again and he can't stand it.  
  
Not tonight, no, not tonight. He kicks the door close behind him and contemplates not answering. Then he suddenly wants to know. No, he _needs_ to know. If it is really her. Or some ghost, a vengeful spirit that left Prim's soul to torment him from the nether world.  
  
He takes the receiver and almost sobs into the phone, "Katniss?"  
  
He expects the caller to hang up. They don't. There is silence, and then someone breathes out, gently. Another moment of his life in limbo.

It's questionable, if he is really _here_. If these calls really happen, or if they just happen in his head.  
  
"Gale," a soft female voice says, a voice he once knew, of a girl he once loved and still does and oh, how he missed that voice how his heart and soul craved hearing her call his name again. More beads of salty water roll down his cheeks, when she continues with a quiet "Hello."  
  
"Hello," he sobs and it is like a knot of unpleasant emotions unfurls somewhere deep inside his gut.  
  
It is her. It is really her. For a while he keeps crying silently, not sure if he should put it down, if he should speak, or if he should let her talk. When there are no tears left, and Katniss hasn't said a thing he decides that he should talk.  
  
"Was it you?" he asks, "Who called me? All these times?"  
  
"Yeah," she answers, "Yeah. That was me."  
  
"Where did you get my number from?"  
  
"It's in the telephone book. The one that was published last year, with numbers from all the Districts."  
  
"Oh," he manages. There is a telephone directory with his number? He never knew. So whoever wants to, could call him? But nobody did. Nobody did, but Katniss. He's not sure how to proceed. How to continue the conversation. Katniss is silent. Doesn't say a thing.  
  
"How are you?" he finally asks, not able to stand the silence.  
  
"I get by," Katniss says neutrally. She is certainly not bent on making this conversation an easy one. Determined to give short answers. Why did she call? And why now, after two long years? Is she willing to talk? Does she need to talk?  
  
"The woods?" he asks, desperate for any topic now, any topic, so she won't hang up. The woods. Their woods. Their connection, their territory.  
  
"Still there," Katniss says and he imagines she is gnawing on her lip.  
  
"I'm sorry," he suddenly bursts out, "I'm so sorry. I had a lot of time to think about the past. About Prim. When Beetee and I were in District 13..."  
  
"Gale," Katniss cuts in, and her voice is hard like steel, "Don't get the wrong idea. I don't want to talk about this. I'm not calling because...of her. Don't mention her name, again."  
  
"No," he whispers, taken aback. "Sorry," he mumbles, because that's the only word he can really say to her, again, again and again.  
  
Why does she call then? He is afraid, afraid to ask, tears threatening to spill once more.  
  
Another long silence stretches between them.  
  
"Do you.." she starts, and then stops, contemplating, hesitating, "Are you very busy? With work?"  
  
How to answer that? He is busy, extremely. He has a feeling, however, that this not the answer that Katniss wants.  
  
"It's not so bad," he answers.  
  
"Do you.." she starts again, and then is silent for so long, Gale thinks she might have dropped the receiver, "Are you seeing someone?"  
  
"What?" he gasps. What is that question? First his mother and now, Katniss? She certainly doesn't want to know this. Why does she wants to know this? Her voice is clippish, cool. There is no forgiveness, no gentleness, no letting go. His mother was wrong. So what is it to Katniss, if he's with anyone? She doesn't want to reconcile. And she is with....  
  
"Your mother says you're not, but if you are tell me now," Katniss says curtly. Gale can't believe his ears. Katniss talked to his mother about him. About his romantic relationships. He hasn't heard from Katniss in two years and now she's inquiring after that? When it is obvious that she'd rather not talk to him at all?  
  
"Why?" he inquires. He's not sure if he has a right to question Katniss, but he wants to know what's going on.  
  
"Because if you're seeing someone, I will hang up and you'll never hear from me again," Katniss says nonchalantly, "Be honest, please."  
  
Never hear from her again? No. No, he can't let that happen.  
  
"I'm free," Gale presses out, against his will,"My mother is right. There is no one."

What he doesn't tell her is that she's the last person he has kissed. That he hasn't touched anyone, but himself, in more than two years. That Katniss cracked lips on his were the last time he had felt a loved one close to him.  
  
"Okay," breathes Katniss, "Do you have any vacation left?"  
  
He never took a day of vacation. He isn't positive there is such a thing as _vacation_ , in his line of work. It never occurred to him to ask, and he doesn't feel any desire to do so.  
  
"Is that an invitation?" he murmurs, not sure if he ever wants to go back home again. Where _the two_ of them live in domestic harmony.  
  
"More of a request," Katniss exhales, "There are some things I need to discuss. Face to face. I'd like you to come as soon as you can. I understand that you're busy, but if you find the time please let me know. Can you do that?"  
  
"I guess... Tell me your number, so I can get back to you."  
  
"No," she brushes him off, "I'll call again. Let's say in a week. Same time. Okay?"  
  
Somehow he is annoyed at this. He has ways of getting her number, she must know that. Why does she not want him to call?  
  
"It's a bit late, you know," he says, "After midnight. I need to sleep, too."  
  
"You're always picking up the phone, though," she retorts, "There is no other way."  
  
Gale suspects he knows, why she calls after midnight. Why she asks all these weird questions. Why she doesn't want to give him her number.  
  
"Peeta doesn't know about this, right?" he presses out. "You're keeping secrets from him."  
  
He's not sure how to feel about this, but then Katniss answers in such an eerie, icy way that he feels a cold shudder, even a thousand miles away.  
  
"I'm not the only one who's keeping secrets. You're right, Peeta doesn't know about this. If you don't want to come and listen to what I have to say, be my guest. We can manage."  
  
_'We can manage'_. What is that supposed to mean?  
  
"What did Peeta tell..." he starts, but she immediately cuts him off.  
  
"Same time next week. Goodbye Gale," and hangs up, while he stares at the receiver.  
  
Keeping secrets? Does she know about Peeta and him and is about to confront him? How did she find out? Did Peeta tell Katniss? Or does he still believe that it all had been fake as Gale never told him otherwise? Gale resists the urge to scream. How, when and why? Katniss so cold, preventing him from calling back. It seems everything has to be on her terms this time. He wants to protest, but deep down knows he has no right. He will ask for vacation. He will go to District 12. He will do whatever she asks of him. No matter what that is.

* * *

  
After Katniss shot President Coin, everything became chaotic. They took her, took her away to some cell and all that remained was confusion. Gale had been shocked, but after the bombs not that surprised. He knew that Katniss blamed him, but most of all suspected that Alma Coin was not exactly the good president, she pretended to be. He had been too caught up in the realisation that he had helped kill a dozen of District 13 residents, a dozen of kind-hearted people from District 12, people whom he just had saved - a few months earlier. He  went to Beetee to talk about what they did and how all of this wasn't what they wanted. It helped, that he wasn't alone.  
  
The decision in Tigris' basement that he wouldn't care about Peeta remained. To stop caring was easier said and done though, especially since Peeta started to inquire about him. At least that was what he heard. Dr. Aurelius, the doctor of Katniss and Peeta had called him several times, asking him to meet Peeta.  
  
He went out of his way to avoid the boy, planned to leave the Capitol for District 2 before the trial was over. The day before he left the Capitol, he finally realised how cowardly he had acted. Avoiding and ignoring Peeta was unfair and cruel. He knew very well why he did it, though. And that decision was set in stone, no matter how often Peeta tried to contact him.  
  
Nevertheless he called the hospital where Peeta stayed and talked briefly to Dr. Aurelius.  
  
"I think," the Doctor had said, "It would be helpful if you two have a conversation. Peeta has made great progress in these last weeks. He is able to separate real from not real, he has most of his memories sorted out. Now he needs to find closure, to be able to move forward."  
  
Closure, to be able to move forward? It seemed like the Doctor was hinting that Peeta needed closure on his relationship with Gale. That it had been some little affair that Peeta should forget, the quicker the better. And that Gale should stop standing in the way of his rehabilitation, his true goal, his true love. And who was Peeta's true love? Katniss Everdeen. At least this Doctor seemed to think so, and since he had information into Peeta's mindset, Gale hadn't he couldn't well protest. He would've loved to shout at the Doctor, tell him that the star-crossed lovers were fake, that he should stop pretending they weren't, that these Capitol people and even he, that doctor, got it all wrong. They all saw Peeta and Katniss as the endgame. Gale Hawthorne was just a footnote in the epic love story of Katniss and Peeta and he should disappear accordingly, after all had been said and done.  
  
Gale only answered, "Sure." Ended the call. He never went to the Hospital and left the Capitol, without looking back, disappearing, as had been expected.  
  
He didn't regret it. As time went by, he thought that maybe Peeta missed him, would try to contact him. Peeta never did. And that was that. His mother told him news about their home District as she was in contact with a few relatives who had moved back. Katniss was banished to District 12 and lived in the Victor's Village. Some time later Peeta returned, and they were often seen together, or so his mother said.  
  
He had made a decision to not pursue Peeta after Prim's death. Seeing Katniss and Peeta together after the hijacking only made this resolve stronger. He knew that Katniss loved Peeta. And he knew that Peeta loved Katniss. He would never come between them. He wouldn't. What he didn't expect was the feelings, he still harboured. What he didn't anticipate were those feelings that never went away. Hurts that didn't heal, urges that didn't stop. That his fantasies, his lust, his desires were still connected to Peeta. That the thought of Peeta Mellark and him, kissing, licking, sucking, pleasing each other, didn't disappear. And that he couldn't for some strange reason enter a new relationship with someone that wasn't Peeta. It wasn't what he wanted. Not even hooking up, having some short term fling was doable. The thought alone left him frustrated, so he never tried.  
  
Gale Hawthorne was no fool. He would never be with Peeta again. He would never look into these blue eyes, would never feel that sweet touch, or listen to Peeta's soft moans, would never feel the love of his lil'one again. The person who deserved Peeta simply wasn't him, it was Katniss. Katniss who had lost it all. The real reason why he hadn't reached out, hadn't talked to Peeta in the Hospital was that he had been afraid that Peeta _did_ remember. That Peeta would want more, that the possibility of a relationship was not just wishful thinking. It would have made Gale happy. He would've moved to Two with his boy, away from that horrid District 12,  help him find a job. They could've been something. Lovers.  
  
As it was, Gale didn't deserve Peeta's love. He didn't deserve a relationship with Peeta. Katniss did. She simply needed it more than him. He was still jealous. Of her, of him. He knew they were together, probably sharing all that, all that he had promised Peeta they would. Sleeping together, loving each other, healing each other, growing together. Katniss was the one who woke up to Peeta next to her, Katniss was the one who would get fruit cake and cinnamon rolls, Katniss was the one who feels him close and listens to his happy laughter and who would look into his shining eyes.  
  
And that was okay. It tore him apart at night, when he wasn't rationalising it in his mind. That his heart broke over and over, and no matter how many months passed, how many nights had come and gone he never stopped loving, missing and needing Peeta. Never stopped touching himself, caught in past memories, in forlorn hours of love that only had lasted a few months, years ago.

* * *

  
  
Vacation was granted without protest. Two weeks in early spring. They offered more, but he declined. He didn't know what Katniss wanted, and if she only wanted to talk for two hours he certainly didn't plan to stay in District 12 longer than that. He contemplated calling one of his uncles, to ask if he could stay at their house, but then thought better of it. He didn't want to visit family during his days in Twelve. He'd rather nobody even knew he was coming. So, he booked a hotel room at the station Hotel and left it at that. He could always cancel the room.  
  
Katniss had been her usual dismissive self when she'd called a week later, like promised. He didn't dare to ask her, what this was all about. Why she needed to see him face to face. Why she couldn't tell him on the phone. And why Peeta wasn't involved in the talk. When Gale boarded the train to the distant home, he was more than nervous and needed to breathe deeply to calm himself, flopping down on the small bed in his compartment. Staring at the ceiling as the train began to move his thoughts started to wander. It was more than possible that this trip would be far from pleasant. That Katniss would shower him with insults, that she would shout a tirade of curse words his way. Was he excited to see her ? No, he wasn't. His stomach was in knots, thinking of their confrontation. How would she look, how would she act around him? Would they even be able to talk normally? Was that possible after all that had happened?  
  
He didn't dare to hope that he would be able to get a glimpse of Peeta. Peeta didn't know he was coming, Katniss made that clear.  
  
Even if he wanted to see him, that would only be from afar, without Peeta knowing he was there. He tried to not think these thoughts, because he didn't want to be disappointed. If he ended up not seeing his lil'one, who really wasn't his anymore, that would hurt. He couldn't help but wish to see him, while at the same time felt afraid of reuniting. How would Peeta react after all this time? What would he say? Would they embrace? Would Peeta allow that? Fall into his arms, whisper _'Gale'_ and give him that closeness, that Gale so desperately craved, after all?  
  
A little spark of joyful anticipation remains in Gale's heart, despite his every effort to quench the flame.  
  
A small flicker of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brr..Katniss seems cold. What does she want after all these years? Who is keeping secrets?


	9. District 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale and Katniss go hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers. I'm in a creative slump these days, have not updated for some time. Wrote this before the slump swallowed me whole, and decided to post it to get it out of the way. I hope I can sweeten your day with this, maybe? Please, enjoy this eighth chapter, District 12. Yeah, horribly creative, I know ;).

There is one thing that the teacher in geography class used to say. Mr. Lofler was his name and Gale remembers the way everybody laughed at his weird, thick glasses, and made fun of him behind his back. Mr. Lofler had been a Capitol loyalist - presumably. In hindsight that seems clear, but when Gale was younger it was just the way that every teacher at school talked like, and it was normal. Mr. Lofler went on and on about how proud they should all be to come from a District like Twelve, where such an important industry was providing the Capitol with the resources it needed to flourish. That, if any of them were to be reaped, they should stand tall and be thankful to have been born in District 12.  
  
"Home, dear children," Mr. Lofler said, in his pompous, theatrical manner, "Home is where the heart is. Never forget that."  
  
It was the most ridiculous thing as no one ever left District 12. They were prisoners here. The only way to get out was being send to die in the Capitol. They would never know any other places so Twelve would always be home, no matter where the heart, or whatever that meant, was. Even Mr. Lofler had not left the District. All the teachers were taught by the headmaster. Who himself got all the material to teach from the Capitol. It was all ridiculous. Back then it did seem normal and while they all laughed at the weird teacher, they still respected him and believed his words to be true. Only in the eyes of his parents did Gale sometimes see another truth, when he told them about his day at school. They knew better to talk in front of their children about politics or the Capitol, but he remembers the strange looks and weird tension whenever the topic came up.  
  
When the train slows down and Gale looks out into the greyness of the woods, sees the ruins of the destroyed mining facility pass him by, the hill in the Seam, the remains of the fence,  and slowly the first houses of the place he had been born in, somehow the words of Mr. Lofler come back to him.  
  
No matter how much change District 12 has seen in the last three years, it is the place where Gale Hawthorne grew up.  
  
The woods, the Seam, the mines, the slag heap, town, the Victor's Village. All of this is Twelve. And against his will his eyes get misty. He hasn't been here for years. Still a soothing feeling overcomes him. Within the changes, it still remains familiar.

* * *

  
  
It's a misty morning and there is a slight sizzling of microscopical drops of rain in the air, when the train drives into the station. Twelve is the last stop. New tracks are to go as far as District 13, but these plans were only made recently so it will take some years to drill tunnels, axe down the fauna, in short kill all the nature for this big endeavour. District 13 is so far away, that Hovercrafts are the preferred form of transportation. Since the rebellion, though, many more people travel between the Districts as now they are free to do so. Modern trains are being built and new tracks are being led. Gale takes his bag, packed hours before the train pulled in the station, climbs out of the train into the rainy world of his former home.  
  
The platform and the station are new. It smells of timber and paint, in this new District Twelve and Gale can count himself lucky that he is one of the taller people in the thick of newcomers who keep buzzing around, greeting and meeting the locals. There is an area with lockboxes at the end of the platform, and while Gale booked himself a room in the station hotel, he'd rather get his meeting with Katniss out of the way before he makes himself at home here. Putting his bag inside he is fumbling with the key when the pressure of a hand on his shoulder makes him startle around.  
  
Katniss stands in front of him. She's smaller than he remembers. Smaller, paler, but also much more woman than girl. Her eyes are shimmering, like the silver of a fish in their lake in summer. Her hair is braided and she wears her father's hunting jacket, her bow and a quiver filled with arrows on her back.  
  
She's simply - beautiful.  
  
Warmth floods every fibre of Gale's being. Katniss mouth twitches, her eyes are damp. Might be because of the moisture in the air.  
  
"Catnip," he whispers, reaching out, wanting contact so badly, wanting to feel her, touch her. And Katniss, seems to have a fight with herself, fighting to stay cool, calm, collected or whatever she must feel now. She doesn't succeed and a small sob leaves her, makes her bite on her lip, like she committed a crime.  
  
"Gale," she whispers back, all trembling, reaches out and then, like a quick squirrel, she is suddenly in his arms, pressing herself closer, mumbling "You came" into his arms.  
  
"Yeah," he says, swallowing hard, beyond moved that she initiated contact, hugging her back gently, cautiously, almost limp without pressure.  
  
"Sorry," he says against his will. "I'm so sorry."  
  
He didn't want to say that. Didn't want this to be the first thing that comes out of his mouth but it does, and now he can't change it. After a while Katniss lets go and looks up at him, searching for something in his eyes, something he seemingly cannot give so she shakes her head and takes a step back.  
  
"Let's go hunting," she says, simply,  like the last few years didn't happen, and he nods, following her lead out of the station down the road and over the tracks, through the pillars of the fence and into their woods.

* * *

  
  
They are silent, don't say a word for minutes, hours. She guides him to snares, hands him a knife and then they hunt. It's spring, the woods brimming with life and energy. Despite the mist they meet an abundance of animals and Katniss shoots a pheasant which Gale finds in a clearing minutes later. He shouts for her, the first word he said in a while, her name, and starts to pluck the pheasant before she comes running. This clearing, he remembers this one. He passed it shortly before his whipping, after he had that fight with Peeta. Groaning to himself he continues to pluck, the manual work reminding him of a simpler life.  
  
The ground is wet but Katniss pays that no mind as she gracefully sits down on the mossy floor next to him.  
  
"What do you think?" she says, in that sweet melodic way he missed so dearly, "About the District?"  
  
"Looks good to me. At least I think so, I mean I haven't seen much more than the station and a few new houses. From the train it almost looked like before.The mines are still there."  
  
"Yeah," Katniss answers, "They are thinking of filling the old mine shafts and tunnels with earth and concrete. Closing the whole area. Making sure that our fathers never come out again."  
  
He looks up at her, shocked. Their fathers? Katniss is not looking at him, but slowly turns her head in his direction. "They contemplate flooring the slag heap, would you believe it?"  
  
"Ah...is that so?" he mumbles, turning his attention back to the pheasant.  
  
The slag heap. What does Katniss really know about that place? What happened there, night after night...and what happened there that one night in winter, after the 74th Hunger Games.  
  
"I'm thinking of my father a lot these days. Crazy, considering what happened to all of us after he died. When I listen to all that talk of reconstruction, these thoughts hit me like a jackhammer. What would my father think, what would my father say if he were alive today? I don't know. But when I think back to these days and...well, you and me Gale, we were so similar. You became a father to a family of five. I only had to look after two. I guess, what I'm trying to say is...is that while I never felt that extreme hate you did, I understand it. I understand, that everyone grieves in different ways and that your actions, were born out of desperation rather than just hate. You never had any guidance, only thought of survival. Now that I'm older, I understand."  
  
Gale gapes at Katniss who looks at him now, eyes shimmering. Her tone isn't as cold as it was a few weeks ago, when she first called. It's not warm either.  
  
"You were young," she continues, "We all were. Too young to understand. Still. I think that deep in my heart, no matter what, I will always hate you...a bit.... for what happened. I know rationally, that it's not your fault in the way that you went out there and murdered her with your own hands. But you played a part, and that can never be undone."  
  
"No," Gale says, trembling, the pheasant sliding on the floor beneath him, while he tries to hold in the sobs. "Catnip.."  
  
"To be honest, I'm confused. When I first saw you this morning, I thought I might felt like I wanted to turn around again. Or hit you. Or scream at you. I don't know. But when I saw you standing there, I felt something I didn't expect. And I'm still feeling that now. I'm happy. To have you back. I missed you. Maybe it's nostalgia. Maybe it's the old you that I craved for. Or maybe it is just you. Gale Hawthorne. I don't know."  
  
Katniss averts her eyes and he can't look at her either. Both of them look wistfully at the treeline bordering the clearing.  
  
"I haven't felt this way in a long time, Gale. Happy, carefree, like I belong. With you this feeling is suddenly there, and it confuses me. Because...this isn't the reason why I called you here. I didn't expect this."  
  
"Oh," he mumbles. He is happy that she is happy. He can feel it too. They are a good team. Always have been. It's so easy with her.  
  
"What do you think?" she repeats her question from earlier, and then clears her throat. "What do you think about owing?"  
  
"Owing?" he repeats. "Like a debt?"  
  
"Yeah," she agrees, "But not money. Do you believe that you might...how can I say this, I mean do you owe me something?"  
  
He doesn't know how to answer that, so he just shrugs. Where is she going with this?  
  
"Because I think so. I believe you owe me. I wanted you to come here, because I need something from you. A favor, if you like. Of course, you're free to say no. But you should think deep about this and if you want to help...it's something that only you can do."  
  
That sounds like blackmail to Gale. He is too afraid to tell her what he thinks. He is free to say no, she said so. And why does he owe Katniss? Because of Prim? Or is there another reason?  
  
"What is it?" he presses out. "Just say it."  
  
Katniss is still staring ahead, exhales in and out, deeply, slowly.  
  
"Calling you was tough. Was it the right decision? Is it selfish? I've been afraid, I couldn't even say a word when you answered the phone. When I readied the guest room this morning I...almost puked. I still don't know, if I'm making a terrible mistake..."  
  
If she readied the guest room she must want him to stay with her. With them. His heart flutters happily, when she looks up and turns around, taking one feathery hand of his in hers.  
  
"We need help," she says, hand ice-cold.  
  
"You and...." he begins and when Katniss takes her hands away he misses that coldness immediately.  
  
"Peeta," she says, "I asked you before. Didn't I? Before the Quarter Quell. To help us train, to make us stronger. This is similar. And different. You probably won't be as eager to say yes."  
  
"What is it?" he pleads, hardly able to stand this any longer.  
  
"He is...I mean, we are not as stable, as we should be. Peeta came back from the Capitol and was better. Everyday it seemed to get easier. He got better. He helped me. We grew closer and...well..."  
  
Katniss cheeks are red, she is biting her lip harshly. He is afraid she is hurting herself, when a small drop of blood appears beneath her front tooth.  
  
"We tried. Tried to get closer. He says it's all he ever wanted. All he ever dreamed of. We were both good. But then, one evening..." she talks fast, atypically, "It was perfect. Romantic. I wanted. It. Him. Needed it, and that evening I was ready, and then.... Then he got a little carried away. It was no big deal, he went out of the room to calm down, I made him tea and we talked. I gave him time, a few days, a week. When I told him that we should try again, he said he couldn't. Wouldn't. I don't know...."  
  
Gale swallows, sweats even in the rainy weather.  
  
"You talking about sex, that it?"  
  
Her eyes are almost crazy when she meets his.  
  
"He said that I could not understand. That he changed. I don't know what they did to him, in the Capitol. What he lived through in this hell. And he won't tell me. He is a big guy, strong, certainly stronger than me, everyone can see. He is afraid that he'll hurt me badly, that once he starts he won't be able to stop. He doesn't listen when I say that I can look after myself. He refuses to try again. We're...kissing. With clothes on. Nothing else works, since he does not want to be physically restrained, you see. Says that is too similar to shackles and flashbacks and stuff. That he can't. We can't. Ever be close. And it's been that way for a while."  
  
Katniss cheeks are burning brightly. She made him speechless. This talk is so far away from everything he thought he knew about who Katniss Everdeen was. She's talking about sex. About Peeta. It's weird. Different.  
  
"So," he begins after it becomes clear she has nothing more to say, "Where..I mean, what exactly do you want me to do here?" He swallows hard. Still not understanding what his role in this is.  
  
Katniss looks him straight in the eye, making him gasp. His mouth is dry and he is weirdly aware of it - not knowing what face he should be making.  
  
"I love Peeta," she says, loud and clear, "I love him so much, Gale. He is my all. My everything. He should be happy. I hate to see him like this. You must know that I'm not doing this because of me. Me - I could live without it. But Peeta is not...happy. He needs more. And so I decided to take action. I can only see it happening in a certain...way, I guess. I thought long and hard. I mean, I thought of many potential...people. Even made a list. There is only one conclusion. In the end, it was clear that it could only be you."  
  
"Damn you, Katniss," Gale growls, "Spit it out. What do you want me to do?"  
  
Katniss jumps up and turns towards the direction of town, her back to him, afraid to look at him, perhaps?  
  
"I want you to... be with us. When we do it. So that Peeta feels safe, doesn't have to worry. If he shows signs of an episode...you can interfere, if he's losing it. Physically hold him back from hurting me. From doing the one thing he is so afraid of."  
  
She turns around again, meeting his shocked face.  
  
"Will you help?" she asks, voice cold again, "Don't forget. You owe me."  
  
The slight arousal and happiness he felt after Katniss proposal, is replaced by anger.  
  
It's cold. She is cold. Without passion or empathy. Talks like this is a mathematical problem, she is facing this entirely void of emotion. One plus one equals...what? Three?  
  
He killed her sister.  
  
So he owes her.  
  
Where is Peeta's part in all of this? His face falls, when he looks into Katniss grey eyes. She is forcing herself to invite him into their bedroom. Even made a list of 'other' people before she even considered him. And who was on that list anyway? Haymitch "fucking" Abernathy? The thought is so disgusting, he doesn't even dare to ask.  
  
"If I say yes, how exactly did you imagine this will run down?" he asks, voice equally as cold.  
  
Katniss begins to shudder and turns away from him again, "Obviously I'm not comfortable with you being involved with me. I don't want that. So, I thought you would sit on our armchair and...well...watch..."  
  
Watch them having sex. He had even dreamed about this. Oh, how many times had he imagined that.  
  
"If Peeta has an episode you can intervene," she states, turning back.  
  
"That means, you're okay with me watching you? Naked, having sex?" he meets her hesitant gaze, "Don't look at me like this Katniss. I want us to be completely clear and honest about the things you actually mean here. Vague hints are not the way to go."  
  
"It's far from ideal," she continues, "I am aware of that. Can't you see how hard this is for me? To ask this from you? We are going to have sex, and yeah...I'm okay with you seeing me naked. But you stay on that armchair. Clothed. And that's it."  
  
He shakes his head. She is unbelievable.  
  
"My feelings in all of this aside," he begins, still baffled that Katniss is oblivious to the fact that he's a human too, with human reactions, "You called me here. Behind Peeta's back, to negotiate me watching over you two. Have you ever considered that he might not be keen on the idea?"  
  
This is it, the heart of it, the core. Did Peeta tell Katniss?  
  
"Don't you worry about that," she says quickly, "I will talk to him and he will agree. I know."  
  
"How?" he asks, and finally wants to hear the truth, "Why would he be okay with me being there?"  
  
Why indeed. Katniss stays silent for a while and then bursts out.  
  
"Because he's attracted to you, that's why," she groans, blushing heavily. He can't muster any reaction. The way she says it, though...it doesn't sound like she knows.  
  
"Don't be mad at Peeta," Katniss says quickly, "He hides it. He is trying hard to hide that he... I mean, they did horrible things to him in the Capitol, experiments on his brain. He can't help it."  
  
He stares at her, trying to connect her words with the reality, when all that comes out is a jumbled mess. Her imagination must've run wild in these last years.  
  
"He's keeping it from me," she continues, "That he has these thoughts. Peeta talks in his sleep and one time, I caught him...I mean, we had seen you on TV that day...I'm not sure...he doesn't think I can understand. He thinks I'm not able to understand this attraction. When it's not like this. I do understand. I do...."  
  
She looks at him, trying to gauge his reaction.  
  
"You don't look too surprised," she whispers, "Did...did something happen between you and Peeta? In Thirteen?"  
  
"You haven't talked to him about this?" he asks, biting his lips, thinking back to the day Peeta and he decided to tell Katniss about them before the announcement of the Quarter Quell. Peeta had been so determined. He had this plan. They nearly did. He isn't sure what he expected Peeta to do during these two years. He didn't seem the type to keep secrets.  
  
"Stop, Gale, stop it," says Katniss, still blushing. "I'm so tired of guessing. Tell me if you want to or not. And then I'll talk to Peeta."  
  
"No," he says, gentler this time. Katniss isn't acting out of malice, out to hurt him, being intentionally unkind is not what she is.  
  
She is acting out of love. Love for Peeta. Gale lifts his head, eyes finding the sky. Breathing in and out deeply. He doesn't want to overthink this. Katniss is desperate. Peeta might have his own reasons for not telling her, but Peeta isn't here.  
  
"Catnip," he begins, clears his throat and then says, "Katniss."  
  
She is quiet, anticipating, waiting. Silent, like the hunter waiting for a rabbit to make his appearance, somewhere in the shadows.  
  
"There is something I have to tell you," he says, "Something I...or should I say, we should've told you a long time ago. I have no idea, why he didn't. Maybe he doesn't remember, maybe he is ashamed. I don't know. I haven't talked to Peeta since that night in Tigris' basement."  
  
His chest starts to ache, and his heart, too.  
  
"You know we talked about me going to the slag heap before, right?"  
  
Katniss is pale around her nose, sensing that this is important, maybe.  
  
"You're correct. Something happened between Peeta and me. But not in Thirteen. It started way earlier. In the winter after your games, I ran into Peeta and Mia Wolk. At the slag heap."  
  
Katniss comes closer, mouth open. Looks young, like when she arrived in the woods. After school, so many summers ago.  
  
"Mia Wolk? From our class?"  
  
"Yeah," he answers. "Looking back, I don't know what came over me. Nothing happened between them, I interrupted when I realized what was happening. Who he was. There was jealousy and I felt betrayed by his actions. It's hard for me to pinpoint why seeing him affected me that time, that night. Anyway I stopped them. Told her to get lost. And then...I told him, well, I tried..I don't remember exactly what I told him. But I kind of, see, we ended up kissing. Somehow."  
  
He looks up at her, but she just stands in the clearing, mouth open, eyes formed into slits. Gale feels like a naughty child. Caught doing something he always knew he shouldn't do, but kept doing it regardless.  
  
"After that we met at the slag heap for a while. Then later we went to his house. It ended when you two went away, to the Quell."  
  
It's obvious that this is not all. How much is he ready to tell? How much of this should come from Peeta?  
  
"What ended?" she says, voice dead, "You and Peeta...what ended, Gale? Kissing? That it? That's why he moans your name in his sleep? Just a few little kisses? That's what you're telling me?"  
  
"We made out," he says, "No...intercourse. Peeta didn't want that. He wanted his first time to be with you. That's what he told me."  
  
"Are you kidding me?" Katniss stares, mouth open, like a fish, obviously too shocked to be upset. It would look almost comical, if Gale wasn't feeling so guilty. He is in no position to tease.  
  
In a far corner of his mind, something is celebrating. Cheering the fact that Peeta moans his name in his sleep. Has not forgotten.  
  
"No," he says, calm, trying to sound soothing, "I was pushing him. It was really all my fault, Katniss. I was the older one, the more experienced one. I pushed Peeta into something...made him believe that he needed guidance..."  
  
He wants to defend himself, and while knowing that these words sound pathetic, he can't help but press them out anyway.  
  
"He would've slept with Mia, if I hadn't stopped him," he says, with a bit of repulsion towards himself.  
  
It sounds false. Like he is expecting a thank you from Katniss. A thank you for getting him away from Mia and into his arms.  
  
"The night before the Quell announcement, we had decided we must tell you," he continues, "But then..."  
  
"President Snow announced we were to go back into the arena," Katniss concludes, shaking her head. He is watching her. Feeling light. It's like a weight has been lifted from his shoulder.  
  
"Now, you see why me being in your bedroom is not as simple," he says.  
  
"Wait a moment, here. This is not done. I mean, it explains a lot of things I have wondered about. And others remain...this..what you did. It doesn't make sense. Why did you care if Peeta slept with Mia? Why even bother?"  
  
He shrugs.  
  
"I guess, I was attracted to Peeta. Some part of me wanted him. Wanted to claim him as mine. I felt betrayed. Like I was you, that night. Decided that Peeta shouldn't be with any girl, but you."  
  
"That's ridiculous," she snorts, "Ridiculous."  
  
"It really does sound ridiculous," he simply responds, "Still. This is what happened."  
  
Her eyes are back to slits.  
  
"And then, when you...is that why you went to the Capitol? To get him back?"  
  
"I don't think so," he says, "Maybe."  
  
"You're unbelievable," she whispers, and then straightens up.  
  
"What was Peeta to you, Gale?" Her voice quivers. "You say you were pushing him. Why would you do that? Why would you use him like that?"  
  
He doesn't answer. Should he tell Katniss that there was love between him and Peeta? That this wasn't just some fun thing two teenagers did in the heat of the moment? How would she react to that?  
  
"And if...if there was more between the two of you, why didn't you help him? Sought him out and supported him? Why did you have to abandon him, too?" she groans and Gale realizes in with a strange clarity, an unknown focused sharpness, that he loves this girl, with all that is left of his heart. She has changed, and still she's astounding. This unconditional love Katniss has for Peeta proves that retreating had been for the best.  
  
Katniss shows maturity that he lacks. Anger, Pain, Bitterness, all the things he imagined she would show him after finally telling the truth, it is not what he sees in her eyes. Just sadness that he and her both abandoned their Peeta when he needed them the most. A salty tear drops from his nose to the forest floor.  
  
"Guilt," he says after a while, "The reason was guilt. And I was jealous. Don't make a mistake Katniss, Peeta always loved you. After the hijacking he did not reach out to me. He reached out to you. I didn't want to come between that. I am not, I was not what he needed to heal."  
  
"Needed," she repeats back to him, "That is where you're wrong. Peeta needed you. He still needs you. I didn't understand until today what was missing."  
  
She sighs deeply.  
  
"Look at us, two kids from the Seam, entirely smitten with the a town boy," she laughs shortly, "We're really stupid, aren't we?"  
  
"Doesn't it feel wrong to talk about Peeta, without him knowing anything about it?" asks Gale.  
  
They stay silent for so long he thinks she's forgotten he is here.  
  
"Peeta trusts me," she says and her tone is gentle, "That's the strangest thing. One would believe that after all that has happened, he would never show that much understanding, or doubt my every word. Since we've been together I have been waiting for the ball to drop. Was waiting for the day he calls me Mutt again. It's strange. Who forgives, just like that? Obviously Peeta does. Remains open, where I am guarded. We can talk about everything. I try to be honest with him. And he tries to be honest with me. At least I thought he was. Honest. This is confusing."  
  
"Aren't you mad? Or even," he gulps, "Even jealous?"  
  
"You think I should be?" she asks, and then continues, frowning, "Yeah, I suppose that is what a normal person should be feeling."  
  
"No, wait. This is not what I was trying to imply," he says, indignantly. "You're normal. We thought you would react a bit more...betrayed, I guess? When Peeta and I discussed coming clean, we were both positive that you would hate the thought. Be disgusted."  
  
She scowls at him.  
  
"I'm not exactly celebrating. But so much has happened. I cannot say what I would've done, said or felt if you had told me then. Neither Peeta nor you...I didn't..I mean, I don't own Peeta. He is his own person and so are you. After the games I couldn't give you or Peeta what you wanted from me. Maybe it is even natural that you both looked for something I wasn't able to provide. Maybe I am still not able to do that. Somehow...I know this sounds twisted, but somehow you two being..." she pauses, searching for a word, "..intimate with one another, makes the predicament easier to solve."  
  
' _Katniss is confusing'_ , he thinks to himself. ' _Did I ever really knew her at all?'_ Has she always been like this? Or did she change?  
  
"Where do we go from here?" he says quietly, after thinking for a moment. "What do we do now?"  
  
A confused wrinkle appears on Katniss' face. They are at a crossroad. He can sense it. She stands in front of him, face milder than it had been all day.  
  
"We go to Peeta," she says, "You're right about me being unfair. Doing this behind his back. We will tell him about my plan, ask what he thinks of it...and then, I guess, it'll be his decision. How to move forward. Okay?"  
  
Gale feels like he has to think. Needs more time to process. She's pushing him hard, he's only been here for a few hours. He doesn't feel a hundred percent confident about her plan. Peeta could reject the idea. And then he would have to leave, leave the District like a dog with the tails between his legs. He can't tell her that this would kill him. That he wouldn't be able to come back from a rejection like that. With Peeta and Katniss continuing their journey together, without him.  
  
While that thought hurts, he is aware that he is the intruder this time. The third wheel, the one who is about to become a factor in a relationship between a man and a woman. A couple that are perceived to be perfect together, who have been through so much. It doesn't sound like Katniss has really given that much thought about adding a third person and what that might mean. Are they, are Katniss and Peeta stable enough? Is their love strong enough? Is there any place left? And does Gale even want that place, when he is never going to be the one and only? Is he that person?  
  
He studies her closely. She is waiting for an answer, an answer he doesn't have. Her reaction to his confession was too mild. She didn't have any chance to process it. Might be she is still too shocked to realize what Gale and Peeta did. Or what that meant. For them. For her and Peeta. He doesn't want to go into detail, but if they are ought to be in a setting where all three of them are naked, have sex...her and Peeta for the first time even, there are truths that have to be faced. Details that have to be talked about.  
  
"Okay?" she asks once more, voice less confident, more girlish.  
  
Gale shrugs. It's not for him to decide, at least right now. Peeta must be included in the discussion. The thought of seeing him, hearing him talk, maybe even touching him makes his heart flutter. He stands up, shouldering the pheasant on his back.  
  
"Let's go," he answers.

There is no use in procrastinating.  
  
"Let's hear what Peeta thinks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katniss has some fancy ideas. And seems cool with the thought of Hawlark. But is she really? And what does Peeta, the boy with the bread have to say about all this action behind his back? What do you think?


	10. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale, Katniss and Peeta finally talk it out in Peeta's kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a hundred percent happy with this chapter, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

Once they leave the deepness of the woods, where trees grow so closely as if they wanted to guard each other, the rain lets up. Breathing in deeply, Gale remembers the scent. This earthy, warm fragrance of spring, of the woods. There is a transformation, a difference. That slight burn, that black filter, the dark film that once overlayed every surface of this place - gone. The mines are definitely gone. It is hard to believe that Gale had only spent a year in that place. After two or three weeks the training period had been over and after two months it felt like he'd been working down there all his life. School was like a pleasant memory, and over time he had to go down there he felt himself get colder and colder. It had been expected, it had been his path in life. Nobody asked if that was okay with him. If the pain of doing the same work that killed his father might be too much to ask. The Capitol didn't ask these kind of questions. The people Katniss begged him to see as more than Monsters, they had no idea where their riches, their luxury, warm houses came from. How they were built on the bodies of innocent people. Even after all this time, he hates them for all that he's lost.  
  
Looking at Katniss, right beside him, he knows he'll never be able to tell her that. He has grown up, he has seen the error of his ways. And Prim - he'll never forget her. Hating the Capitol for what they did to him, his mother and siblings is part of him. He'll never forgive. And he'll carry that in his heart forever.  
  
As they're nearing the District, Katniss body language changes. Her relaxed grace, her catlike movements, her natural stance leave her body, dripping away like the last of the raindrops. She begins to walk unnaturally stiffer. Clenches her fist, unclenches it. _'She's afraid'_ , Gale realizes. It's impossible to fool him, knowing his Catnip so well.  
  
Katniss is panicking.  
  
They haven't said a word, so she startles when he lightly touches her back.  
  
"Catnip?" he asks, voice calm and soothing.  
  
"Yeah," she answers looking straight ahead, "Yeah...I guess, he must be back by now. He works early, gets home around noon. You know...we could..or maybe we should go to the bakery?"  
  
It seems like she is talking to herself. Gale feels the first signs of panic swelling inside his chest as well. He's going to see Peeta. Peeta. He's going to see him. Oh.  
  
"Bakery?" he asks, feeling kind of stupid, like he is on some drug. Slow and sluggish.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," she continues, "His bakery. Well it's more of a market stall really, the buildings ain't finished yet. He mostly bakes at home. There is an outside oven in town, a makeshift one. That he uses in summer."  
  
Gale shrugs. So Peeta returned to do his father's profession. He doesn't know how to feel about this. He hated his own father's work. But baking is something Peeta enjoyed, it's not like the mines. Not every man feels the same need to leave all that he's ever known behind. Peeta is different to him. Better than him.  
  
"What about his painting?" he murmurs, when they step out of the woods, on the meadow.  
  
"What?" Katniss stops and turns her head sharply in his direction.  
  
"Nothing," he keeps on moving, not wanting to send her in a frenzy. "Left or right?"  
  
Left is the Victor's Village. Right is Town and Seam. Or it was. Before.  
  
He turns left when she doesn't answer, but slows down his walk. Behind the meadow there is a little hill, a small slope downwards ending in a path. A path he often used in the darkness.  A path he feels like he's walked all his life when it had been only a few fleeting months. Visiting Peeta at night.  
  
"What do you mean? What do you know about Peeta's painting?" Katniss asks curtly, back at his side again, hurrying to catch up.  
  
His pace becomes faster. He feels like he's being pulled towards the Village. Unable to answer that question, he ignores the girl beside him. To answer wouldn't be good. He thinks he recognizes her tone. It's a tone he rarely heard in her voice. Jealousy. She doesn't understand. She never understood. In the woods, earlier, that was false bravery. That he might know Peeta, that he might know more about Peeta's heart than she does, Katniss doesn't understand this. _Them_. And might not be able to understand it ever. The three of them together, that appears like a childish vision from someone who didn't think clearly.  
  
They walk fast, Katniss a few steps behind, huffing slightly. At the end of the path two spruces open up like a curtain and present the first houses of the Village. It didn't change. Looks exactly like he remembers. Might be the only place in the District that wasn't destroyed.  
  
Entering the Village from the back, he steps on the gravel of the road. He makes out a figure of a man at the fountain in the middle, walking around it and turning to Peeta's house.  
  
His heart is thundering, his blood prickling, feels like it is replaced with that sparkling liquor that people in the Capitol drink when celebrating.  
  
"Peeta," he yells, and his feet break into a run, as if they are moving with a mind of their own.

 

* * *

  
  
The man stops and turns around. It is Peeta. His hair is blonde, more blonde than he remembers, wheat-like, locks rugged. He wears a white shirt, checked trousers and a white apron, with dark patches on the side. Baker through and through. He seems taller than two years ago. As soon as Gale is a few feet away he sees the shock in Peeta's eyes. The disbelief.  
  
That confirms it. He had no idea. The surprised look forms into a smile...he's smiling!  
  
"Gale," he hears Peeta say the words, sees his lips forming his name, his eyes shining at the recognition and then he embraces his boy in a strong, needy hug pulling him up a bit, so that Peeta's feet leave the ground. He smells like flour, cinnamon and he is warm, warm and safe in Gale's arms.  
  
There. It is there. That feeling. Something he hasn't felt for years. Is he allowed to? To feel that love, that happiness again? Or is he doomed to never let these feelings in again? He is only here because she thinks he owes her.  
  
Her.  
  
Katniss.  
  
Without warning he lets Peeta go and jumps back. He flies around, looking back. His eyes are wild, trying to see. He looks over to her house. Nothing. She is gone.  
  
Gale swallows, not understanding where he lost her. When had she decided to leave? Was she still with him when they entered the Village? Did she see him embrace Peeta?  
  
He curses himself. Why did he forget all about Katniss all of a sudden? He didn't ignore her on purpose, he just completely forgot she existed as soon as they drew nearer to the Village. And she disappeared.  
  
He flies back to look right into Peeta's face, who still has that shocked look, that surprise written all over his face. Before he can say anything, anything at all. Peeta propels himself into his arms again, pressing his torso against him. Then Peeta's eyes flutter close, his head moves closer, his lips meet Gale's and it is like they are back, back at the slag heap all those years ago.  
  
They kiss. It's not slow and soft, not a sweet hello, it is wild and dirty and gosh, Gale is feeling that tingle in his pants. He is getting _hard_ in broad daylight, like back then, when he was a horny teenager. And like then, he takes a step back when he feels Peeta responding to him.  
  
"What are you doing?" Peeta asks, stepping forward again, not ready to let go.  
  
Confusion, Arousal, Happiness, Pain. All these emotions are swirling through Gale's mind, like a carousel that the operator has lost control of.  
  
"Lil' one," he croaks, and then..."Katniss."  
  
Peeta's eyes grow wide. Looking around, he steps back, rearranges his pants quickly.  
  
"She'll be here any moment," Peeta whispers, his face showing anguish. "What have I done?"  
  
"No...no, wait," he answers quickly, "She knows that I'm here. She invited me."  
  
"Where is she?" Peeta doesn't seem to understand, taking a few steps around Gale, searches the Village with his eyes. "Gale, where is she? Did she see us?"  
  
"I don't know. She...we were together, walking to the Village together and suddenly she was gone. I don't know. I don't think she saw."  
  
But she did, something in his mind seems to scream. She saw and knows. Huntress. Lurking in the shadows. Most likely watching from somewhere.  
  
Is she hurt? He doesn't know. Confused, that's for sure.  
  
"No," Peeta moans, expression pained.  He grabs onto Gale's jacket. "She _knows_..she's been suspecting...so secretive, these days, she was...what did she tell you? Why are you here?"  
  
He frowns, not anticipating this reaction from Peeta. And what should he answer? Katniss is elusive, but this is not something that should come from him. It is her and Peeta that are in a relationship. They must work this out somehow, without him interfering.  
  
"I'm here because Katniss invited me. Where she went, I have no idea. But she invited me and we talked earlier. And yes, she does know about us. I told her."  
  
Peeta stares at Gale as if he has grown two heads.  
  
"What did you tell her?" Peeta growls. His eyes, so wide and open before are slits now. "What does she know?"  
  
"Peeta..."  
  
"Tell me," he demands.  
  
Gale has not expected this panic, this frantic person in front of him. At first it seemed like Peeta acted on instinct, even kissed him. Now there is panic, fear in his face. So different from the Peeta who insisted that they tell Katniss about their relationship.  
  
"I told her the truth. That we met at the Slag Heap. That you went there with Mia Wolk. That we kissed, that we continued to meet, that we made out. That we did everything short of fucking, because you wanted her to be your first. That it ended before your second reaping. That's what I told her. Do you remember that? Or did you conveniently forget that too, when you were hijacked?"  
  
"Gale," Peeta pleads, "You don't understand."  
  
Peeta turns and leans down on the edge of the fountain, sitting down, hands formed into fists clenching the fabric of his checkered trousers.  
  
"It is not that easy."  
  
The truth is that Gale is sorry. Sorry for Peeta and the hijacking, the torture and all that he went through. And he knows that he did not try to talk to Peeta after the war. He didn't even try. But some part of him, a part he had buried throughout these last years is hurt, too. Hurt that Peeta loved Katniss more. That Peeta chose Katniss. And that he never tried to contact him again. Never asked how Gale was faring. Like him - never tried.  
  
"No, it's not," Gale says. "You have to talk to Katniss, when she finds it in herself to come out from wherever she is hiding. Talk to her. Don't be afraid, she is not angry with us. You have nothing to fear."  
  
Peeta keeps shaking his head.  
  
"What I don't understand," Gale continues, "Is that you obviously remember what happened. So why not talk to Katniss? Why not confess? You were pretty keen on telling her before the Quarter Quell announcement. You're in a relationship. Where is the honesty in that?"  
  
"You know nothing about our relationship," Peeta answers. His voice is not cold. He simply states the fact.  
  
"I know enough," Gale simply replies, "I know that Katniss is worried about you two. I know that you think of me.  After all these years. That kiss right now? That wasn't a kiss from someone who moved on. You desire me still. I know it."  
  
Gale doesn't know where the cockiness in his voice comes from. He doesn't feel confident at all. At least he didn't until he stepped into the Victor's Village. Something in the way Peeta reacted to him changed his attitude.  
  
That kiss. It was that kiss. Peeta kissed him out of a primal instinct. Like he was drawn to him, like whatever he was thinking or rationalizing didn't matter, he couldn't help himself. This is what makes Gale feel confident, makes him feel strong. However this turns out, Peeta is still drawn to him. Or even more. He knows he can coax it out of Peeta, because Peeta has always been the one who was open with his feelings. And because deep down, Gale still remains confident in his ability to seduce even the most reluctant person.  
  
Out of the corner of his vision he registers movement, a long black braid disappearing behind the wall of Peeta's house. Katniss is out there. Waiting. For...? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for both of them to appear and confront Peeta. Who knows what is going on his mind?  
  
He sits down next to Peeta, close, like a lover would.  
  
"Lil' one," he whispers into Peeta's ear, making him shudder, "I'm going for a walk around the District. Say hello to my relatives, get my luggage from the station."  
  
Sliding his arms around Peeta's back, he quickly scans the Victor's Village. The houses lie silent, the misty perspiration leaving little foggy clouds behind. The dampness is turning into humidity, the golden sun nowhere to be seen. In the distance a deep rumbling can be heard. Thunder. Other than Haymitch Abernathy no one lives here, and his house looks dead to Gale. It is daring, bold and he doesn't know what makes him do it. He doesn't want to embarrass Peeta, but he wants... _something_. Something to fester in Peeta's mind, something to remember when he finally talks to Katniss. His hand moves between Peeta's legs to cup the bulge Peeta tried to hide earlier. His movement is swift, confident, a bit rough. A firmer touch from Gale, that's what Peeta needs. A different treatment than the one that he imagines is Katniss' style.  
  
"She is hiding behind your house," he informs Peeta, who gasps. At the contact or at the information, Gale isn't sure. "Talk. And be honest this time." He squeezes the erection once more, while pressing the softest of kisses on the brightly flushing cheek of his boy. He withdraws his hand and stands up, moving towards the road to town.  
  
"Gale," Peeta says, and he turns, seeing Peeta's hand reaching out, looking vulnerable, "Don't leave."  
  
"Peeta," he starts, feeling his cocky facade breaking already, his confidence ebbing away. Realizing that he is acting like an idiot. He hurt Peeta. And now expects him to just deal with it.  
  
"I'm not leaving. I swear, by all that is precious to me, I'm just going for a walk, I'm coming back."  
  
"Promise?" Peeta asks, voice quavering.  
  
"I promise," he says, "I'm not running away. Katniss even prepared the guest room for me. Apparently, I will be sleeping in your house tonight."  
  
He gives Peeta a reassuring smile, turns and walks away swiftly. For some reason his eyes are wet. It is hard to go, every step hurts.  
  
Why is it so hard to walk, to make himself move? Before he passes through the gate he hesitates for a second, turns around. Peeta is still sitting on the edge of the fountain, looking up.  
  
Up at her.  
  
She is standing in front of him. He can't hear, is too far away. Peeta's eyes are red, Katniss expression neutral. They look at each other and he can't read them, and in this moment he realizes Peeta's right. He knows nothing about Katniss and Peeta and their love for each other. He doesn't know what makes them laugh. He doesn't know what they talk about at night. He doesn't know what they do in the evening, what their routine is, what kind of music they listen to, how they act in front of strangers. If they hold hands, when they stroll through the streets of District 12. He doesn't know how they touch, how they kiss in private. His kisses with Katniss were normal, average kisses. He kissed her like he kissed any girl. There wasn't much difference between kissing Katniss and kissing Laika.  
  
They were never in a  relationship, never had been a real couple. He never even touched her tits, most kisses had been chaste, so he wouldn't scare her with his more passionate side, knowing she didn't like to be attacked like that.  
  
And Peeta. He had kissed Peeta when he had been seventeen, a naive kid who had not even done that much exploring. While he wants to believe what they had was real, it wasn't a _relationship_. No one had known. They didn't spend their days together, they didn't take long walks, they didn't play chess, they didn't know each other's family, because Gale wouldn't allow it. They never really did normal things together. To be honest, he never did that with any of his conquests. He called Namy and Becca his girlfriends, but were they real relationships? He never had one. The one he always imagined having with Katniss, the one he imagines his parents had. No, Gale has no idea how a real adult relationship is supposed to work. He turns away from Katniss and Peeta who are as much a couple in love as can be.  
  
What now? He knows he can't be there when Katniss tells Peeta about her plan. And he knows that he shouldn't be there when Peeta tells Katniss in his own words what happened between him and Gale. The panicked reaction makes Gale suspect that Peeta has been trying to hide not only all about his time with Gale, but also about his sexuality. About that side of him that needs a different kind of touch. Peeta is afraid of losing Katniss, underestimating the length she would go to make sure he is happy. Unaware how much this girl really does love him. Peeta was panicking because he was afraid of losing Katniss. Knowing that it would destroy him.  
  
As Gale walks towards Town, his thoughts return to his Catnip. Standing at the fountain, looking at Peeta. It is clear that there is no future for him and Peeta independent of Katniss. He already knew that. He had known when he left for District 2. Katniss and him independent of Peeta had never been a possibility after she was in the Games with the boy. Peeta and Katniss without each other is impossible. What Katniss offered though...it's not a true relationship. Can there even be a relationship between three people? Can there be equal love, equal treatment between three? Isn't it more like, there is always a couple and a third person? In this case Gale as the third wheel?  
  
In all that is he only there for the sex? Like some sort of neutral, asexual being, who is not allowed to touch, to feel, to participate? Does Katniss know what she is asking here? He can't do what she asks. It's not that he wouldn't be able to hold himself back, he is more than able to control his urges. He probably could. Once, for their first time, it might be okay. But if he isn't ever allowed to do more, to touch at least Peeta, he doesn't want to.  
  
The first houses of Town come into view, and Gale decides to not visit his uncle after all. Instead he walks back to the station to get his stuff from the locker. The train from this morning is still in the station and for one short crazy second Gale thinks of boarding it and breaking that promise he made. To see Peeta again, that was all he hoped for and what he got. He should be happy with what he got. A glimpse, a touch, even a kiss. It should be more than enough. All that bullshit Katniss fed him in the woods, about owing, he doesn't agree and he _finally_ realizes why he can never do what Katniss asks of him. Leaving these two afterwards would break him, destroy the last shred of self love he has left. He wouldn't be able to function if they set him aside. It is selfish. He wants to help Katniss, he really does, but does that warrant destroying himself in the process? In the last two years it became clear that he has been unable to move on. He can't go back to District 2 after Katniss and Peeta have sex and go back to his life, listen to his mother relaying gossip of their situation every other week. Hearing of their marriage, hearing about the family that they will surely built in the future. He can't.  
  
Sitting down on one of the benches, he stares at the tracks. The train is getting loaded, a bunch of young men are working hard so that the it can leave at the allotted time. Some of them look like they are from the Seam. He thinks he recognizes two men, boys really,  working hard, sweating in their heavy work attire.  
  
He sees them running towards the fence, sees himself running behind them, urging them on, shouting at the top of his lungs to leave all belongings behind, to run, run, _run_. He shakes his head. Whenever he remembers that day, his thoughts of the burning District transform into the image of bombs hitting the Capitol street where Primrose Everdeen and a group of other children, who look eerily similar to his siblings, catch fire.  
  
"Gale Hawthorne?" One of the young men stands in front of him, smiling brightly. It's a lanky guy, with dark hair and grey eyes. His gait reminds Gale of Laika's husband.  
  
"I thought it was you," the man says, grinning, "My name is Sean Leverbourne. You saved my family. You saved my life. I...just...thank you."  
  
He smiles weakly and shakes the hand Sean is offering. "Nice to meet you. I thought you looked familiar."  
  
"Yeah, I was a young lad though...only fourteen."  
  
"Then you're young still," Gale smiles, against his will.  
  
"I'll never forget that day, Mr. Hawthorne," Sean says, "That I can stand here, that I am alive. It's all thanks to you. I've always wanted to see you and thank you personally."  
  
"It's thanks to the Mockingjay that we even got this far," Gale whispers. He doesn't feel like a hero today, and doesn't know how to react to this boy's admiring and thankful words.  
  
Sean shakes his head. "That's not true Mr. Hawthorne. Listen, my father died from a sickness in his lungs. He caught that in the mines, shortly before the bombs hit the District. He was always criticizing the Capitol, always complaining about the mines. But he never did anything, you know? He insisted that life is unfair, and in the end his death meant nothing. You did something. You took action. For a better world, there need to be sacrifices. I admire that. Not every person is that strong."  
  
A loud signal startles Gale and even Sean looks a bit surprised. The train is ready to leave. Gale stands up, clutching his bag to his chest. It's now or never.  
  
Stay or leave. Leave or stay.  
  
"Are you leaving?" Sean asks but Gale doesn't answer, stares at the train for a long time.  
  
"It was a pleasure meeting you," Sean says hesitantly, "I'll tell my mother I met you. It was good seeing you back home."  
  
Sean waves and returns to the other end of the platform. Gale's gaze follows Sean until he disappears. The train starts to move and he is still standing here.  
  
' _Home',_ Sean has said.  
  
District Twelve is Gale's home. ' _Home is where the heart is'_ , Mr. Lofler had said.

His heart is with Peeta.

His heart can only ever be with Peeta. He cannot leave, knowing that Peeta still has feelings for him. Appearing weak and letting Katniss dictate the conditions of their love, their _sex_ , is not what is going to happen. He is going to take a stand and tell them, tell her, it's all or nothing. How this is going to work, how exactly a relationship between three people is going to work he has no idea. He just knows that he can't be sidelined. They need him. So he's going to make himself useful.

* * *

  
  
The Victor's Village is as silent as ever. He is not sure he likes this silence. Is not sure if this is the right place for Katniss and Peeta. Alone with Haymitch Abernathy. His apartment in Two is at the edge of a bustling neighborhood. Life is happening just around the corner. Not that he joins the crowd at any time, but he enjoys the feeling that he could simply walk down the stairs and sit down in a small bar or café and join the locals after a long day of work to socialize. It doesn't matter that he does not, the possibility is there. If he would move back, he'd rather get an apartment in Town than live here, in this dead area. If he would move back...would he? Would he be able to give up work and return here? There is a lot do here, it certainly wouldn't get boring. Commuting between Twelve and Two is daunting. He would have to stay.  
  
The little fountain stands lonely, Peeta and Katniss are nowhere to be seen. It is getting dark, he's been gone for long. Too long. Might be, they think that he took off. The light is on in Peeta's house, which surprises him. He thought they lived in her house, not in his. He creeps around the house and stands in front of the kitchen door at the back, remembering the first time he visited Peeta in the dark. It had been cold that day and Peeta hadn't been home. It's almost like he can taste the fruitcake on his tongue.

Pushing the door open, there they are. Sitting at that huge table. A sweet scent is in the air, and Gale's stomach rumbles. He hasn't eaten anything at all, the whole day.  
  
They both look up at him, grey and blue. They look exhausted. Both have been crying, he can see. Closing the door behind him, he gets rid of his jacket by laying it over one of the chairs.  
  
"I'm hungry," he states, his gaze jumping between Katniss and Peeta, "Any fruitcake left?"  
  
Peeta stares at him out of these huge blue eyes, as if he can't connect the words. As if he doesn't believe, it's really Gale who is standing here, in his kitchen, years and years after so much happened.  
  
Peeta blinks. Once, twice and then stands up.  
  
"You're lucky, Gale," he says, "There is one in the oven right now. Coffee?"  
  
"Please," he answers, conscious of the way Katniss musters him. She looks him up and down and there is something new in her gaze, he has not seen before. It's hard to pinpoint what exactly that is. She looks at Peeta and back to Gale who sits down next to her.  
  
"Everything okay?" he asks gently.  
  
"I don't know," she answers. "I just don't know."  
  
"You guys talked?"  
  
She bites her lip and nods. Peeta has his back to them.  
  
"So you told him your plan?" She nods once more, staring at the table.  
  
Peeta is standing in front of the coffee tin, stiff stilted back.  
  
"What do you think, Peeta?" he asks, finally, "You're ready to have sex with me as your loyal watchdog, two feet away?"  
  
Katniss gasps. Peeta turns around, blushing, coffee in his hand. His gaze flitters to Katniss for a millisecond. He steps closer to Gale and hands him the cup, then turns to the oven, putting on his mitts to get the cake. Gale waits. Katniss, too. There is a tension in the air. They didn't expect him to be that blunt. They didn't think he would cut to the chase like this. The cake is cooling on a rack when Peeta turns back to look at Katniss.  
  
After a while, he turns to Gale and nods. "It's what Katniss wants," he says.  
  
Katniss smiles and Gale feels the first stirring of anger in his stomach. This situation is weird. It's going to blow up. Why can't Katniss see that?  
  
"Wrong answer," he responds, "Are _you_ ready to have sex with me watching, Peeta? Answer the question."  
  
"What does that even mean, am I _ready_? Can one ever be ready for this? It is crazy, the whole idea."  
  
"Peeta," Katniss interrupts, "You know it is the only way. And you are ready. We both are. Gale is leaving in two weeks. We need to get this sorted out until then. We need to be able to do it without him as a safety net. We don't have any time to waste."  
  
"You're leaving?" Peeta whispers, looking at Gale and there is the slightest bit of longing in his question. Katniss crosses her arms in front of her breasts and answers before Gale can say anything.  
  
"Yes, he's leaving. Don't you understand? We must act soon. You can talk, get used to one another again. But please, Peeta. We need to get this over with. Please."  
  
_Get this over with_....he feels a drumming inside his head. Katniss understands nothing. And Peeta is so ready to follow her every wish, he has learned to suppress his own desires to accommodate hers. They do need him, that's clear. This dynamic is not healthy.  
  
"I'm not leaving in two weeks, Lil'one," he says, looking at Peeta and at Peeta only, "I'm going to stay here. I'm moving back to Twelve to be with you. Don't force yourself into this because of time restraints. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. There is no pressure."  
  
"Gale," Katniss gasps, "That's not what..."  
  
"Listen to me, Catnip," he turns around, "You want Peeta to be happy. That's admirable and kind of you. But the way to that happiness...Your plan will never work. I _like_ you...but I'm not sure if I'm in love with you anymore. I've missed you and yes, there is a certain desire I feel towards you. When you invite me in your bedroom and expect me to just watch, I have to say to you: No. I can't, I won't be your watchdog. I want to be with Peeta. I have been in love with him for a long time. I understand that you two have something together, something I can never be a part of. That's okay. I don't expect to be with you Katniss. I know you don't want me. But I cannot sit back and watch. It's not good for me. You believe I owe you, but this is a big mistake, I'm not willing to make. It would not only hurt me, it would hurt Peeta. That's not what you want."  
  
"But," Katniss begins, eyebrows crunched into a frown.  
  
"Did you listen, really listen to what Peeta said? He said, _'It's what Katniss wants'_ Tell her, Peeta."  
  
He leans back. Now it's up to them.  
  
Katniss clenches her fists, anger written in her face.  
  
"Is that true, Peeta?" she presses out, "You don't want to?"  
  
Peeta's expression is one of helpless confusion. Looking at Gale, looking at Katniss.  
  
"I really don't know," he says finally, "That idea of yours, that is not as bad as Gale makes it seem. But maybe the rules don't have to be that strict. I mean...it's our fist time and it's not going to be that great anyway...but maybe...if we do it together...maybe if Gale helps us along and..."  
  
He catches both of their gazes and blushes deeply. "Or maybe not," he whispers.  
  
"What do you want, Peeta?" Katniss asks. "Tell us, straight ahead."  
  
He bites his lip, frowning.  
  
"Peeta," Katniss says once more, "I love you. And it seems Gale does too. I have no idea how that happened and why, but we do, both of us do. Me and Gale, we have our issues. But...I'm willing to put them aside, if it means you'll be happy."  
  
"It would be selfish," Peeta groans, raking a hand through his locks, "I'm not selfish. Especially when it comes to making this good for you."  
  
"It's okay," Gale stands up, moving towards Peeta. "It's okay to be selfish. It is okay to say what you want. We want to make this work. For you. We _can_ make this work. Katniss and me. We're a team. Partners. We know what to do, to get the results we want."  
  
He stops in front of Peeta and glances at Katniss, who seems to make herself small in her chair. There is no confidence in any of this. He has to be the one who initiates things. She won't do it. Maybe they need to have another hunting trip in the woods, just the two of them. Where he teaches her about men, like he taught her to make snares. While he and Peeta are familiar with each other in an intimate setting, Katniss is not. No wonder she is nervous.  
  
"Katniss," he growls, feeling Peeta shiver next to him. "Come here."  
  
Reluctantly she climbs to her feet, out of the chair, stops a feet away. He grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him and Peeta. Then he interweaves his hand with hers and looks her in the eye.  
  
"I am here, because I want to be," he says, low, deep, "I'll stay here because I want to see Peeta and you happy again. I will help you. I will watch you. And in turn..."  
  
Gale grabs Peeta's hand with the other. "In turn, I will get Peeta."  
  
Katniss hands in his spasms. Peeta whimpers and his lips part, transform in a delightful little o.  
  
"Get?" Katniss asks, "What?"  
  
"Get you to be my boyfriend, of course." His attention is solely on Peeta on that impossibly deep blue.  
  
He moves in without hesitation, breaches that little o and pushes his tongue inside. Peeta moans into him and begins, responds as eagerly he can. He feels Katniss hand getting loose, knows she wants to get away, wants to flee again, but he's not having it. Strong as he is it presents no problem to press her hand into his. Without hesitation he leads her hand to Peeta's crotch. As expected they find a small tent. Overlaying his bigger hand with hers they both begin to rub Peeta gently.  
  
"Oh, oh," Katniss gasps, "Oh."  
  
After a few moments of this, he stops kissing Peeta, who had his eyes closed. They open, like he awakens from a dream. His hips are moving towards Katniss' hand and he smiles serenely.  
  
"What do you want, love?"  
  
Gale turns towards Katniss. He didn't expect her to speak, but her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are eager. She's licking her lips, unconsciously.  
  
Peeta grins and for one moment seems to be forget that this is real, and not dreaming his eyes flutter close again. "I want to take you, Katniss. Slow and gently, at first. Tender, like you deserve. When you're used to me I want to change the rhythm, take you fast and hard."  
  
Katniss nods, "Yeah. I want that, too."  
  
"And while I'm buried inside your sweet little pussy, I want Gale to take my ass from behind."  
  
A light laughter, almost a giggle escapes Gale. Oh, Peeta. He has been holding back, his boy.  
  
His gaze turns to Katniss. She is still massaging Peeta with her small, delicate hand, not realizing that Gale has taken his away. A blush is visible on her cleavage.  
  
He squirms closer to Peeta, rubs his nose against his earlobe.  
  
"You wouldn't believe how often I dreamed of this, Lil'one. I promise it'll be good. We'll treat you right. Ain't that true, Catnip?"  
  
Katniss gives him a long look he cannot interpret. It is definitely not the plan she had initially. Having sex with two men, this must be intimidating. But then...she presses her lips into a straight line, her jaw tight - stubborn. He knows that look. That is the competitive side of Katniss. The side that doesn't appear often, the side that says _'Just you wait, I'll show you what I'm made of.'_  
  
Instead of answering she gets on her tiptoes and kisses Peeta full on the mouth, and for a short second he is reminded of that day in the sewers of the Capitol. It seems like a desperate attempt to get Peeta's attention. When she doesn't even need to do this. Peeta is Katniss' partner, through better and worse. She doesn't need to be jealous. Katniss' self esteem is not the best, that's obvious. She claws at him, wraps her arms around him and pushes her body into his.  
  
While he watches them kiss, no - making out would be the better term, he wonders already, how to show her that they are not in a competition for Peeta's love. That sharing won't mean getting half the love. He doesn't know yet how to navigate with Katniss in bed. Getting her aroused won't be a problem. If she acts disgusted with him, with Gale... he cannot anticipate how that's going to work out. He'll try for Peeta's sake. For Peeta's love. And that's all he can do.  
  
With a smack Katniss pulls herself away from Peeta and gives Gale a challenging look.  
  
"That's right, Gale," she announces, the slightest trace of frustration in her voice, locking gaze with Peeta.

"We'll treat you right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I thought a threesome would be the easy way out. It's not, I can tell you. Also, I'm aware that this seems like a big tease. Forgive me, and tell me what you think anyway? I'm always thankful for any kind of feedback.


	11. The Market Place of District 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale and Peeta get to the point. Talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm yes. Here I am again, with another chapter of this lovely story. What can you expect from this tenth chapter, dear reader? Eh.....all I can say is sorry in advance and leave you with another hopeful: Please enjoy this tenth chapter!

There is a sound in his room. The morning sun still weak behind his squinted eyes, there seems to be no clock in sight, making it impossible to tell the time. All he knows is that Peeta left a while ago, when Gale turned around to get more sleep, listening to that familiar walk of his love. He honestly cannot remember the last time he slept in, and whatever that noise is, it's annoying. A cough can be heard and he hesitantly opens his eyes fully, only to see Katniss standing in his room, watching him.  
  
"Catnip," he groans, "What are you doing here?"  
  
He's not mad that she's here, just a little startled. Katniss is fully dressed. Not in yesterday's hunting clothes. She wears a white tank top instead of her hunting jacket and a pair of worn-out, tight fitted jeans. She's barefooted, her dark tresses not in her usual braid, but rather wrapped loosely into a top knot held together by a green scrunchy. For some reason, she's not wearing a bra. Katniss' tits are not that big, but he can see the roundness, the softness and her slightly hardened nipples. The fact that it's morning and that Katniss doesn't seem to care, or doesn't realize, because she probably always runs around like this for Peeta, pumps more blood to the already engorged area between his legs. So much for not desiring her anymore.  
  
"Can I come in?" she asks, the slightest hint of hesitation in her eyes. Her gaze flickers to his rumbled sheets, making him slightly self conscious.  
  
"You're already in," he answers, then waves her in anyway. Katniss has shown so much confidence, so much fighting spirit when it comes to Peeta. But when she is with Gale, he sees her there is that girl who holds herself back, a girl that seems...unsure. She doesn't need to be, but there are things, that probably cannot be changed.  
  
She comes closer and sits on the edge of the bed. His cock is getting harder, he can smell her sweat, her natural scent and the sweetness of pine. Maybe she took a shower earlier? While he contemplates on how to hide it his erection, Katniss looks at him imploringly until he can't help but blush. When was the last time he _blushed_?  
  
"What?" he asks curtly. She is not the only one who is nervous, that's clear.  
  
"It's just..I'm still trying to figure it out. You out. What made it come to this. How you suddenly went from disliking him to being in love with him. How it all happened. And why Peeta went along with it."  
  
"You know that it's been a while," he answers, trying to be honest, staring at the ceiling, "It seemed crazy at the time, but I felt so drawn to him. First I wanted him to stop making out with girls. Any girl. And then at some point I got jealous about you, too. I think that's when I realized there was more to it than just making out. I never cared what the girls I've been with did when I wasn't with them. This feeling was completely new to me."  
  
"You've only been with girls?" she asks, playing with the edge of his blanket.  
  
"Yeah," he answers, "Until Peeta. I've been visiting the slag heap for a long time, before I even met you in the woods. But you know that already."  
  
"Who?" she asks, making him wince.  
  
Who? Does she want a list?  
  
"You probably wouldn't know most of them," he says gently, knowing it's a lie. While she hasn't been friends with his lovers, Katniss knows them. The District was not that populated, her mother the only makeshift apothecary in the Seam. Katniss pauses for a while.  
  
"Is Mia Wolk one of them?"  
  
He stares at her, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Is she honestly curious if he's been with Mia?  
  
"No, gosh, no, Katniss," he reassures, "I have never been interested in Mia."  
  
"So the three of you...never...I mean...what he said he wanted, yesterday..."  
  
What exactly is Katniss asking here?

If he and Peeta...if they had been in a threesome before her?

He flaps back the sheets, making her startle. His cock is bulging in his shorts. He gestures to it and then says slowly,  
  
"I'm a guy, Catnip. I'm almost always ready to have sex. Right now? I can't stop thinking about your tits. How sweet they look in that white shirt, how lovely you smell. What they would feel like in my hands, what kind of noises you would make when I would suck on your hard little nubs."  
  
Katniss flushes red at his blunt words.  
  
"But you know what? I'm also able to think clearly when I'm horny. I know that you have no interest in me. So even if my body is willing to do it, my brain stops me. I'm not thinking with my cock. The older I get, the easier it becomes."  
  
His heart sinks at her confused expression. There is so much she doesn't seem to understand about sex. How will this work if Katniss doesn't understand? Asking about Mia....asking about _Mia_. It's not about him, he suddenly realizes. It's about Peeta and Mia.  
  
"Peeta had been sixteen years old. His heart had been broken and Mia Wolk, who had a lot experience with guys, tried to get a Victor in her bed. He tried to resist, he really did, but he's only human. He was extremely alone. Hurt. Mia meant nothing to Peeta, believe me. I scared her off, and that was it. He never touched her again."  
  
"She visited him in Thirteen," Katniss whispers, not convinced, obviously.  
  
"So did Delly Cartwright," Gale says, "And you don't believe there is anything between them, right?"  
  
"Delly is our friend," Katniss answer indignantly, "She would never..."  
  
Sweet Delly. It seems that Katniss and Peeta still see her as a friend. This is good for them. To have more people that are close. Other than Haymitch Abernathy.  
  
"Like I said, you don't have to worry. We've not done any of the things, Peeta described yesterday. We talked about it, but decided against them in the end."  
  
His language is soft, using his words carefully. He's not sure if he should tell her about the fights they had, or that night when he confessed his love to Peeta. When Peeta wanted to go through with it. Whenever he had squeezed his cock in the following years, alone in his apartment, his thoughts returned to that night, and Peeta on that bed, offering himself to Gale. He usually came within seconds after that.  
  
There is a long silence. Katniss seems to stare at his slowly deflating erection and he shudders a bit. What now?  
  
"You..."she whimpers suddenly and he sees tears swimming in her eyes.  
  
"You...call him... _Lil'one_ ," she chokes on the word, stifling a small sob "Why?"  
  
Oh. There it is. The _true_ problem.

That she noticed is good. She is not as unaware as she might believe. How to says this without hurting her? He doesn't want that, never, being aware that it's going to be inevitable.  
  
"Because that's what I do, Catnip," he says gently, "Give pet names to the ones I love."  
  
Her eyes soften for a second.  
  
"There is still a lot to talk about."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And it's going to be embarrassing. Awkward. Weird."  
  
"I know. I'm nervous, too. I've never been with two people. I have no idea how it's going to work."  
  
"Mmmh..."  
  
"Promise me one thing, Catnip. If you don't like something I do, you have to say it. Don't just go along with it, because you think you have to. We have to try, for Peeta. But if it's not working out for you, I have to know. So we can find another way. I'll stop if you're the slightest bit turned off, I promise."  
  
Katniss nods, still deep in thought. Then she stands up and turns towards the door. "Peeta made breakfast. I'm usually in charge of dinner. What..." she stops for a short sigh..."Would you like to help me?"  
  
"Yeah," he answers, in a low voice, "I'd love to."  
  
It might be wishful thinking, but he imagines seeing a shudder running through her torso, before she turns to go.

* * *

  
  
Spending the day with Katniss is easier than he thought it would be. After their _talk_ in Peeta's kitchen last night they went to Katniss' house, where Gale moved into the guest room on the first floor. Katniss and Peeta went to bed in their bedroom. Together. Gale didn't have that much time to think about this, he fell asleep shortly after he hit the mattress.  
  
Peeta had laid the table for the two of them before he left. There was a small basket with rolls, buns, and leftover fruitcake. Colorful napkins and a vase with a beautiful red tulip completed the picture. He raised his eyebrows at Katniss and she laughed lightly.  
  
"He loves to decorate," she smiled, "He is good at this. Making things beautiful for me."  
  
They go to check the snares and begin to prepare dinner after breakfast.  
  
Haymitch Abernathy meets them in front of the fountain, chasing after a flock of geese and looking Gale up and down.  
  
"So..you're back, boy," he gnarls, "Well, greet your mother, if ya will. Always had a thing for 'er."  
  
Haymitch Abernathy likes his ma? The look of sheer disbelief on his face makes Katniss laugh so loudly he almost cannot place the sound. Katniss is laughing, like he never heard her laugh before. She had always had a sense of humor, but pure joyous laughter? He cannot remember hearing her laugh like this. And now, she is laughing so easily, so often. He has heard her laugh more in these few hours than in all the years before, spending so many hours together in the woods.  
  
Surely this is Peeta's doing. Must be Peeta's doing.  
  
It was the right choice. Not to go for Peeta. To leave them be.  
  
The light laughter, that sweet innocent sound, helps him decide.  
  
After Haymitch Abernathy disappears with the quacking flock, he turns to Katniss.  
  
"Catnip?"  
  
"Yeah?" she giggles, wiping away a tear of laughter.  
  
"Is it okay if I go talk to Peeta? Alone?"  
  
She's stiffening up immediately, looking serious. "Talk?"  
  
"Yes," he answers, "There are a lot of things I have to explain to him."  
  
Gnawing on her lip she gives him a long look.

"Peeta wanted me to spend the day with you," she says slowly, "Get to know you again."  
  
"Oh," he says. He didn't know.  
  
"I don't know how I feel about this. Left out, maybe? I'm not sure...I mean, I don't know what you guys want and..."  
  
"We will talk about that together. But...I need to have this conversation face to face with him. Need him to understand some of the things I said and did."  
  
"And you don't want me to be there," she says, and the tone makes it clear, she's a little hurt.  
  
"No," he agrees. Is sad that she's hurting but he wants, he _needs_ alone time with Peeta without worrying about Katniss' reaction.  
  
"You're going to kiss?" she whispers, looking scared and flushed at the same time, "Make out?"  
  
"No...no. Listen Catnip, I only want to talk to him. It's complicated enough..."  
  
"..without me there, you mean? I'm not stupid, Gale. Yesterday, when we entered the village you seemed in another world. Like I didn't exist. And Peeta too. I saw you kiss, I saw where you touched him. I'm not so naive that I don't understand the implication of what happens when you and Peeta meet in private."  
  
There is liquid under his armpits, he is breaking out in sweat.  
  
"Peeta told me," she continues, "What you were holding back from me in the woods yesterday. I made him tell me, what exactly _'making out'_ meant."  
  
"Oh," he says. It was clear that it would come to this. That Katniss would want to know. Sooner or later. He is not mad at her. A small part of him is sad, that Peeta and his private meetings, that were theirs only, are also now part of Katniss. He will never tell her that, knowing how hurtful it would be. He doesn't want to promise what he does next, but he knows it would be unfair to expect more alone time with Peeta.  
  
"Nothing is going to happen,"he soothes, "I won't even touch his hand, if you're not ready. Yesterday it was impossible to hold myself back. Like when I hugged you on the station. I just," he rakes a hand through his hair, "I just missed him so much. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't apologize," she says, and he cringes at her harsh tone, "That's not necessary. What hurts me...I mean, what really hurts me is that you did things with Peeta I have only dreamed about. He accepted your touch in a way that he never accepted mine. It was a bit shocking to hear...and see."  
  
Gale has a feeling, she is telling him something she didn't even tell Peeta. That Peeta isn't accepting to her touches has probably to do more with hijacking than with Peeta not being turned on by Katniss.  
  
"We will talk, Catnip, only talk, okay?"  
  
She gives a reluctant nod, her gaze glued to her feet. Breathing out slowly. Then,  
  
"If you hurry you can catch him in Town. You can walk back together. I'll make a salad in the mean time."  
  
Giving her an apologetic look he turns towards Town once more. Disappointed that he's not supposed to kiss Peeta, but he knows all of this is too fresh for Katniss to really understand. Walking swiftly he can't help but wonder of he will ever be _'allowed'_ to do be with Peeta without her present. She and Peeta will surely want to have alone time, and he doesn't begrudge her that. They both should. It feels unfair, though. Unfair that he wouldn't have that opportunity as well. There are so many things he would love to try out. His imagination had two whole years in which he fantasized every night. Peeta had always been so open towards sex. He cannot imagine fucking wildly, being adventurous and free when Katniss' disapproving frown judges him for every dirty word that leaves his mouth. He is probably worrying prematurely. Nothing has happened so far. His steps become quicker, longer.

He's been missing Peeta the whole day already. Can't wait to see him again.

* * *

  
  
Peeta Mellark is as radiant as the sun in summer. There is no trace left of that hijacked boy he had been when Gale last saw him. He is strong and healthy, and in the process of closing the small market stall that stands on District 12's new market place. It's hot out there, and there is a dewy drop of perspiration on his neck. Lips tingling, Gale already feels that he should probably take a cold shower, as soon as they make it back. He gave Katniss a speech about how he is able to control himself, how he can be perfectly chaste. He even promised not to touch Peeta, not knowing it would be that hard to fulfill that promise. He should have known that Peeta is the exception to the rule, in every context.

Getting hard in broad daylight yesterday had simply been the start. His thoughts are running a mile a minute and he sees himself moving in, embracing Peeta from behind, fitting that tight bottom into his crotch, making Peeta gasp. He would lick the sweat from Peeta's neck, and it would be the best taste he has had for a while. Licking it off, slowly, before starting to suck, to draw out more of that sweet, arousing liquid. Peeta would squirm, moan and he would move his hand to Peeta's belt, opening it up, out here in public. And give his boy a long drawn out...  
  
He shakes his head so violently, it's cracking.

Well, that hurt. And helped.  
  
Peeta turns around in that moment, and the smile that breaks out on his face is so light, so wonderful, his heart can't help to beat a little faster. He smiles back and it's so obvious and clear to him in this moment that he's in love, never stopped being in love, will never stop loving Peeta. It's not about sex or possession, it's about genuinely wanting Peeta to be happy. And to maybe, be a part of this happiness.  
  
"Hey there," he says deeply, "Looks good that stall of yours. How is business?"  
  
"Very good," Peeta beams at him.  
  
"The new bakery will be able to open before summer is over. So I can finally leave that makeshift stall behind. It's over there," Peeta points towards a new line of buildings, and there is a displaying window with a shop sign on top that says **'Mellark's bakery'**. He's really doing this.  
  
"Is that what you want?" he can't help but ask, not caring that this seems rude in a way. When he talks to Peeta he wants to be open. Hiding his thoughts and feelings hasn't worked so splendidly before.  
  
Peeta locks the door of the stall with a small key and nods. "I like to be busy, you know. Katniss needs her alone time. She is often gone for hours, sometimes she is gone for days, doing who knows what in the woods. I couldn't stand sitting at home, waiting for her, staring at the wall. I need this for my sanity."  
  
"What about your painting?" Gale inquires.  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"Well..." he doesn't know what he wants to hear from Peeta. This is more about his own insecurities, probably.  
  
"Painting is a hobby, more relaxing. I don't want to do it all day. Baking, I've always loved. It's work for me, a job that I enjoy. You know a few months ago, when I didn't have the makeshift oven, I only baked at home. I made fruitcake every night, until Katniss got sick of it. She complained that fruitcake wasn't her favorite, that her favorite were cheese buns."  
  
Gale regards Peeta carefully. Where is he going with this?  
  
"We were both on the edge. At a crossroad in our relationship, if you like. Katniss wanted more, and I would lie if I said, I wasn't equally as curious. While she was pretty confident about us taking that next step, I wasn't convinced, and still...I don't know, _scared_? I got annoyed with her and told her I'm not her personal baker. If she wanted cheese buns every day, fine, but I wanted fruitcake for now and she just had to deal with it, alright? We had our very first fight that night, didn't talk to each other for about two weeks. I was mean and so was she. It was a shouting match, reminiscent of my own parents', may they rest in peace. I felt bad, but on the other hand....I was happy that she gave me the cold shoulder, too. It gave me privacy. To do the things I want to do without making it all about her. I've been hiding away, Gale. I've been hiding parts of myself and I thought Katniss wouldn't notice."  
  
Peeta sighs deeply.  
  
"Does she know you're here?"  
  
"Yes, I asked her for...I guess, permission?" Gale says hesitantly, knowing how weird that sounds.  
  
"There is to be no making out, though," he adds, his tone slightly ironic.  
  
"You're not saying," Peeta pouts, making Gale laugh. "Let's walk back to the Village. You can tell me all about District 2 and your life there, okay?"  
  
"Peeta..." Gale begins, "I wasn't lying. I want to move back here." He turns around to look at the houses once more.  
  
"What about that bakery building? Looks like there is enough space for an apartment inside? What do you say, would you like to be my landlord?"  
  
Peeta gives him a disapproving frown, "Have you really thought this through? You've been here for one day and are willing to throw away the life you've built for yourself, just like that?"  
  
"It's not like that," he answers, "I want to be with you."  
  
"I've talked to your mother," Peeta states, "We've seen you on TV. You're famous, quite successful. It seems you have a career, your life in order. Everything is working for you. And you hated it here, you made that clear. It was obvious in your every word. Don't move back because you think we can't make it work otherwise."  
  
Gale shakes his head. "I don't give a fuck about my job, Peeta. I've only worked so hard because I thought....it was my redemption. I wanted to shape a better world. And I still can do it, here. This is my home too, and now that the Capitol is gone, it is a different place. It's obvious now. I even begin to forget where the old Districts 12 buildings were. It might be not as fancy, but I believe it's possible to find something worthwhile to do here as well."  
  
Peeta seems to consider that.  
  
"You really don't care about your job?" he asks, and the first signs of doubt can be heard.  
  
"No," he answers, "There are few things I care about in my life. But I can say my job is very low on the list of priorities."  
  
"Okay, let's say this is true, but what about your family?"  
  
Gale pales. He has forgotten about his family. Completely forgotten.

About Hazelle, Rory, Vick and Posy. The reason why he didn't lose his sanity in his two years in District 2. But thinking back, when did he actually really see them? He worked so much, they barely existed in his daily life.  
  
"You'll be my family," he answers carefully, licking his lips, "If you want."  
  
"What?" there is disbelief on Peeta's face.  
  
"You're not a replacement. But Peeta, I'm a grown man. I don't need to look after them as I did before. You know, I hardly ever see them. And District 2 is not out of this world. We can visit each other."  
  
Peeta turns away, and walks swiftly in the direction of the Victor's Village. Gale stands for a moment, baffled that Peeta leaves him standing in mid-conversation. Ignoring him.  
  
"Peeta, wait," he hisses, looking around, uncomfortably aware that this conversation took place in front of the whole town. Nobody seems to mind them, though. People are used to Peeta and Katniss in their midst, they are just normal people here, not the awe inspiring star crossed lovers, they are perceived as in other Districts.  
  
He stumbles after Peeta, hurrying to catch up. Peeta is fast, faster than he remembers. They leave Town behind, two hundred feet, three hundred feet, until he finally reaches Peeta, grabbing his arm.  
  
Peeta flies around and punches Gale square in the jaw, before he can so much as think of blocking, taking him by surprise. He feels something crack and little lightning bolts begin to obscure his vision. Holding his jaw with one hand, he realizes he's bitten on his tongue. The metallic taste of blood fills his mouth.  
  
His first instinct is to hit back, to attack. He's been in a few fights back in the day, and he's training regularly for his job. His stance changes, he makes himself ready to surge forward, when he finds himself looking into Peeta's red face.

Tears and snot, pain and _anguish_.  
  
His love.  
  
Heartbroken.  
  
"Wha?" he croaks, immediately changing his posture to look less intimidating.  
  
"You bastard," Peeta sobs, "You stupid, idiotic asshole. What the fuck were you thinking?"  
  
"I'm sorry," he says soothingly, although he is not quite sure what he's actually apologizing for. "Lil'one..."  
  
"Don't call me that," Peeta growls, "Do you have any idea what I've been through? Did you even once stop to consider what happened to me? That I might've needed your help? I know you all think of me as lunatic, and that I did not remember who I was, but that's not true. I needed your help and you as much as flipped me off. I have not forgotten."  
  
Gale feels hot, too hot in his own skin. Helpless. Guilt makes it hard to breath. He chokes on the blood in his mouth, coughing.  
  
"Let's see," Peeta continues, and his tone turns icy, staring at the distant town behind Gale, "Let's see. I was taken captive by the Capitol. And while they did all sort of funny stuff with my head, making me hate Katniss like I never hated anyone before, they also had a few more little surprises in store. Audiotapes of me and you, for starters. ' _Gale Hawthorne's little whore, we have something for you. Listen to this_ ', is what they told me, and I knew it wouldn't be about some innocent kisses in the woods."  
  
Peeta's eyes search for his again. He can't believe what he's hearing. He knew they were torturing Peeta, Delly told him about the tapes. But he never gave that much thought later.  
  
"Did you hear that? They called me your _whore_! And if that wasn't enough they had tapes of you and Katniss fucking. I could hear everything. Flesh slapping against flesh. Squishy noises, kissing. Every whisper, every laugh that left her, and you, your voice, deep, growling, manly. What you said, it was horrible. Both of you were mocking me, taunting me. Lil' _slut_ , that's what you called me behind my back, laughing at me. Insulting me, telling me I was such an idiot for falling for you. Pathetic little Peeta. And do you know what was the most humiliating? I liked it. It turned me on. I listened to that stuff and had a constant boner. How funny, the whore _likes_ it. Well he just has to deal with it, we surely won't unbind him to take care of it. Haha."  
  
There is nothing funny about that story. Gale is sobbing, spitting out more blood. Relieved that he hasn't eaten much today, or he would've vomited all over the pathway. He had no idea. These bastards. These fucking bastards.  
  
"Soon enough, after you came to see me in Thirteen, I figured out that their tapes had been fake. Shiny. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to ask...but you ignored me, never came back. In the Capitol you even offered to kill me. In that basement, I thought you would help me place these memories, but you didn't. I was in the Hospital later, was not allowed to make calls. I tried to get hold of you through my doctor, told him everything I remembered.... I didn't...I mean, I know you wouldn't have wanted me as your partner, but I just wanted to talk, you know? Always foolishly hoping you would contact me. Dr. Aurelius told me you went to District 2. And that was the last thing I heard of you. So, Gale, tell me, what is your reasoning for that?"  
  
Gale swallows. All words gone, all excuses resolve into nothing.  
  
"I spent two years trying to get rid of these memories. Even tried making myself believe that it, that _we_ , never really happened. After a while the people of the District began to talk about you, relatives of yours are still here, after all. Proud of Gale Hawthorne, the local hero. We see you on TV one evening, months later. Looking fine, looking good. Katniss starts sobbing and runs into Prim's bedroom to cry herself to sleep, waiting for me to follow, to offer comfort. And what do I do? I run back into my house and jerk myself off so violently it almost tears off my skin. Thinking of your hands on me, dreaming about getting fucked in the ass. It worried her that I began to spent more time in my bed instead of hers. She thought it was because of jealousy, but that's not true. It was because I missed you, I missed what we did and I wanted it back. Even when she caught me doing it on my own, she didn't get it. She'll never get it, no. And then, after two long years, when I finally feel like I got it under control, she brings you here. And there you are, standing at the Village fountain, arrogant, handsome and confident, not one hair out of place, as strong as ever. I'm stunned. Is that real? You touch me once and I almost soil myself on the spot. Real or not real? Why are you here? To watch me and Katniss fuck? To be my _boyfriend_? Are you kidding me?"  
  
Peeta slides down on the street, sobbing still and rubs his nose with the dirty apron. Gale is crying, crying so heavily, that he can't stand it. The sobs are hurting him, he's never cried like this before. Every breath of air burns, he's gasping. He knows he has to explain himself to Peeta, but he cannot find the words. What can he say to his love after all this time? After he has hurt him like he did. Would it have been better to never come back here? A hot scalding headache begins to form at the back of his head. Too much crying and Peeta's punch did that.  
  
He slides down in front of Peeta, putting his arms around him, squeezing him against him, relieved that Peeta doesn't fight back.  
  
"I'm sorry," he says again, again, and again. He'll never be not sorry. Fuck it all. It cannot be undone and the guilt is torturing him, coursing, like acid, through his veins.  
  
"I love you," he whispers into Peeta's ear, and Peeta embraces him back, holding on for dear life, "I love you so much, it's killing me. More than anything in this world. These last two years, I never once stopped thinking about you."  
  
Peeta lays his head on Gale's shoulder, sniffling softly.  
  
They stay like this for a long time. The sounds of the town behind them, only a lone bird call accompanies their crying, until the sounds grows weaker and it's just them.  
  
Peeta and Gale, holding each other.  
  
"I killed her," Gale croaks into Peeta's ear, his voice weak, "I killed Primrose. Took Katniss' sister's life. The girl she would've died for. I didn't want to rob her of her most important person again. I gave up on you, because you two...you belong together. There is no other way to be for you. Everyone could see. There was no place for me at your side."  
  
Peeta shudders, "No..."  
  
"That doesn't excuse the way I acted. I abandoned you in Thirteen. Never went to see how you're doing. And in Tigris' basement...it was all about Katniss when we talked. It was like you had forgotten about me. That we had been together. I was hurt. A brat. I thought I could start over in District 2. It might seem like I live a good life there, but I never...I never stopped thinking about you. You've been the last person, the last I... Every night I think of you, of us. I couldn't, with another.....my mother told me you and Katniss moved in together. I didn't want to destroy that for you, come between you. I know that sounds arrogant. But Peeta..."  
  
He leans back, locking eyes with Peeta's. Watching him blink away the tears that are caught in his long blond eyelashes, "I can only ever be with you. If you're able to forgive, I'll promise I do everything that I can to make it worth it. You're not alone. Don't feel bad about your desires. If I'd only known...Me too, lil'one."  
  
"You too what?" Peeta asks, his voice almost silent.  
  
"Jerked myself off every night, dreaming of you," he whispers, takes his arms away and Peeta's face in his hands. Leaning in he gives Peeta a warm, almost shy kiss, different to the one's they exchanged yesterday. He pours love into that kiss, coaxing Peeta's tongue out gently, exchanging saliva, feeling his body tremble, shivering and getting warm from deep within. How can one be so in love? He never thought this feeling was possible, never experiencing it so clearly before today.  
  
Peeta draws back after a while and spits to the side.  
  
"You're bleeding," he states, looking slightly guilty.  
  
"I can take it," Gale answers, honestly "I deserved that."  
  
"Yeah, you did," teases Peeta, the edge of his mouth twitching. The back of Gale's hand caresses Peeta's cheek, gently stroking and smiling at him.  
  
"You promised Katniss, no making out though," Peeta grins now, and his voice gets lower, "Bad, bad Gale."  
  
"Huh," he exclaims, "Well, I don't give a fuck. She has to deal with it. We go back to the Village, we hold hands, and we do whatever we want. Whatever. We. Want. You've been hiding long enough."  
  
"Gale, she's not ready," Peeta says his tone back to normal, scrambling up. He rubs his artificial leg and holds out a hand to Gale, who takes it and moves himself into a standing position. "This is too much for her."  
  
 "You underestimate her, Peeta. Girls have fantasies too. We just have to coax them out of her. Maybe give her a little show. Get her in the mood. We talked about involving her before, now we just have to act like it", Gale sighs. He waits for a moment, thinking.  
  
"Maybe she would be okay with observing us at first. She's a huntress, watching her prey - it's familiar to her. She can get used to it, without being in the midst of us."  
  
"I doubt Katniss' fantasies involve witnessing you taking me from behind while I lean on the kitchen table," Peeta snorts and Gale raises an eyebrow. Where did that come from? Sounds more like Peeta's fantasy than Katniss'  
  
"Perhaps she's more interested in you fucking me then," Gale says, "Seeing the man you love giving it good. From another viewpoint. Sounds hot to me."  
  
"What?" Peeta stares, astonished "You...you...would let me? Take you?"  
  
Gale shrugs, "If you or her want that, why not?"  
  
Peeta looks at him with new admiration in his eyes, making him chuckle, "What did you think I won't be able to take as good as I'm giving?"  
  
"No, no. I just never imagined that. You wanted to take me, back then," Peeta wonders, "Real or not real?"  
  
"Real," he says quickly, "Listen, Lil'one about your fantasy. Me taking you, while you fuck Katniss. That's really hot. But not for her first time."  
  
Peeta blushes darkly, "Oh," he says, "I don't know what came over me, yesterday. I've been thinking out loud."  
  
"It's exactly what we wanted you to do. Honestly telling us about your feelings. Katniss can handle it, she proved it. She loved rubbing you. Did she ever give you a hand job before?"  
  
"No," Peeta shakes his head, "We...never did much. I kind of hurt her once, during an episode and that was.....what can I say, it...I don't get hard as easily around her, since then. Just more anxious."  
  
"Mmmmh. Okay, her first time is not going to be much fun. It's possible it's going to hurt her, the rhythm is off, whatever. It's awkward enough without having someone watching you."  
  
"I never asked about your first time?" Peeta looks curious, holding out his hand. He takes it smiling, and they turn to walk back to the Village.  
  
"Not much to tell. Went to the slag heap with a girl called Namy Howers. Fucked her standing up. She bled all over my underwear, was dry as sandpaper. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I had sex later it was much easier and enjoyable, because the girls were actually wet. Namy wasn't, it was her first time, and I hadn't properly prepared her, didn't even finger her. We both had no idea what we we're doing, at thirteen. And now she's dead," he groans. Why does the realization always comes back like a jackhammer? Peeta squeezes his hand reassuringly.  
  
"Thirteen?" he distracts, "Wow, that's early. That's a decade of experience."  
  
"Don't underestimate the power of enthusiasm, Peeta. That's far more important than the number of people you've been with," he smiles, "We can be... _you_ can be gentle with Katniss. Do it in a soft bed. Ease her in. Make it good for her."  
  
"Yeah," Peeta says, "That'll be quite different. And to think I almost took Mia at the Slag Heap."  
  
"Don't feel bad about that. She's not a bad person, that Mia, but she hadn't been an innocent maiden for a long time. She knew what she was doing. And so do I, so let me help you."  
  
The gate of the Victor's Village appears in their line of sight. They stop and he turns to look into Peeta's eyes, taking both of Peeta's hands in his.  
  
"You still want me to take you?"  
  
"Yeah," Peeta says, a little short of breath.  
  
"Then we have to train you. It's not as easy as taking a pussy. It needs more preparation or you'll tear. I need your ass to get used to the intrusion, we need oil, maybe something balmy from the bakery? It makes it easier. It can be done, and with the right timing and angle, it feels incredible...but...."  
  
"But what?"  
  
He looks down at his feet. Is this selfish? Is this cruel, after all? Will he hurt her too much with this? She can't stomach the thought of them making out, but he doesn't know how else this can be accomplished. She was worried about being left out already. Steeling his heart, he must try at least. For his own peace of mind.  
  
"Katniss gets her first time with you, like she wants it. I'll sit on the armchair, watch, do as she says, whatever. Our first time will be different. I want us to be on our own, in your bedroom. Without Katniss."  
  
"Gale," Peeta groans, "I don't know."  
  
"Can you honestly say you don't need a little private time, too? Where we don't have to hold back? I think you won't be able to relax with Katniss there, and I need your muscles relaxed. We tell her what we'll do. She deserves to know, but I think it's important for us to have something independent of her. We can involve her at a later point, if you want that. And if she wants it."  
  
Peeta's hands are sweaty, slippery in his own. His eyes show the beginning of a panic once more. He can't bear to see this look, can't bear to hurt his Peeta again.  
  
"Or not," he backtracks, beginning to stroke Peeta's knuckles, "It's not an ultimatum. Don't get me wrong. If you don't agree that's fine, if she doesn't want to - forget it. I'm just happy to be back with you."  
  
"No...I do want it. I want it so very much, and I agree. We...I think we have to be patient with her, though. Katniss is not the biggest fan of change."  
  
Gale laughs at that, "That's true. I think she probably won't want me to be with you guys after you get used to each other. And that's okay. You need to have a relationship without me interfering all the time."  
  
"So you're okay with us being on our own?" Peeta asks, looking suspicious.  
  
"Of course," Gale says, "What do you think I've been doing these last two years? As far as I knew you were already making babies."  
  
At the word _babies_ , Peeta shudders.  
  
"You and her are so much more than lovers. Family. I still have mine, which makes me the luckiest of us. Would I destroy that for you? Never. I told you. That's why I didn't try to...why I didn't come back."  
  
Peeta nods, "So when do we tell Katniss?"  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
They both startle at the soft female voice coming from the left. _'The silent huntress strikes again'_ , Gale thinks. Katniss is standing before the gate, gaze switching back and forth between them, looking at Gale's swollen jaw and bloody lip, Peeta's pale face and red-rimmed eyes.  
  
Then her eyes fall on their hands, still interwoven, Gale's thumb gently stroking Peeta's knuckle.  
  
Her eyes return to fix on Gale, scowling, judging him silently.  
  
"Care to explain this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So me and my mates, the plot bunnies, went to sit down, talking about how this would work out. 
> 
> ForestFairy: So, they'll finally do it. I have a plan. I have a diagram, you know...positions and stuff. It's going to happen!
> 
> Bunnies: Fuck off, bitch. We don't give two shits about your plan. We want angst, anger and pain!
> 
> ForestFairy: No need to be that crass, guys. But...no, the readers want smut, so do I, and you do too, you're bunnies. That involves fucking! That tingling in our pants when a story, finally, gets to that point...
> 
> Bunnies: Whatever, ForestChick. We do what we like. Live with it.
> 
> And so they forced me to write this. I have no excuse. But if you find it in you to write how you liked this, I'll give you a bunny. You can do what you want with it!
> 
> Bunnies: Hey!!!!
> 
> ForestFairy: *smirks*


	12. The Eastern Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Gale explore the woods - once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the eleventh chapter of The Lark's Awakening, called The Eastern Woods. Time for another warning. This chapter focuses on and heavily features *gasp* Everthorne. You might've noticed, I added them as a pairing a few weeks ago. If you don't like the direction this is going, you better abort this story now. The threesome is coming. Have fun, you lovely people.

Peeta lets go of Gale's hand immediately, guilty - caught. Gale wants to take it back into his, but knows better.  
  
"Katniss," Peeta starts, "It's not..."  
  
"I'm not talking to you, Peeta," Katniss hisses, her eyes set on Gale, "I'm talking to Gale. What are you doing?"  
  
"Holding hands," he answers sheepishly, "I'm not sorry, Catnip. I couldn't help myself."  
  
"And I'm just supposed to accept this, because you're not sorry, and couldn't help yourself? Did you even listen to what I told you before? Did you, for one second stop and think about me, or are you just thinking about your own agenda?" Katniss' face is red, her eyes furious.  
  
"I don't know...it just happened, okay?" he says finally, uncomfortable by now. How did he think this would turn out?  
  
"It just happened? You have no free will of your own now?" Katniss is looking as if she's ready to attack him at any moment.  
  
"Why don't we all calm down, okay?" Peeta's voice is harsh, making them both look at him, "Let's just take a step back and focus on the important things. Gale touched me, alright Katniss? I needed a hug and he gave it to me."

Katniss looks perplexed, eyes wide at Peeta.  
  
"And Gale, if you really want to stay here with us you have to stop looking at Katniss as competition. It won't make me like you more."  
  
"What? I'm not doing that!" Gale stares at Peeta. Didn't Peeta just a few moments ago agree to his plans to meet independent of Katniss? Didn't they decide to confront her about it, let her deal with it?  
  
"I'm telling you that I want us to talk, all three of us. Katniss made dinner so we'll go over to her house, eat and then we'll talk. No discussion," Peeta's voice is strict, like he is talking to a bunch of naughty school kids, "We're adults, so we're going to act like it. Alright?"  
  
"Alright," Katniss agrees immediately and Gale can only follow with a weak, "If you say so."  
  
Peeta turns around and leads the way to Katniss' house. Katniss gives Gale another death glare but hurries after Peeta, stepping beside him. Gale wonders if she'll touch his hand. Her eyes definitely have a possessive gleam in them, he has never really noticed before. She's jealous, he knows. He never meant to make her feel that way but supposes it's only natural. What makes him more confused is Peeta's sudden change of mood. Or did he misinterpret what Peeta really meant earlier? Did he agree, or was he just caught in the moment? He moves to catch up with them, refusing to worry about it all. He has a feeling that Peeta will tell him tonight, once and for all, what is going to happen. And he sure as hell will argue his case.

* * *

  
  
Dinner tastes delicious, and he tells Katniss so. Eyeing him suspiciously she thanks him politely, but her voice remains cold. He hurt her earlier, but he can't bring himself to care that much. He just cannot mind Katniss' feelings every second or he'll never relax. He offers to clean the dishes and they leave him to it, while Peeta serves the rest of the fruit cake with fresh peppermint tea in the sitting room. He can hear them talk in hushed tones over there and he is almost tempted to eavesdrop, but Peeta just told them to stop acting so childish and he can't breach their trust like that. That they let him finish the dishes gives him hope. You don't do that to people you only consider guests, right?  
  
When he enters the sitting room, he clenches his fist. Katniss has finished her peppermint tea and her head leans against Peeta's shoulder, lips against his earlobe. His hand is resting on her thigh, shortly before her knee. He coughs, making them look up at him.  
  
"Woah, you're quiet," Peeta looks impressed.  
  
"I knew he was here," Katniss smirks at Gale. Well, that's not really a cease fire, is it?  
  
"Well done, Catnip," he grumbles, "Knowing I was in the house certainly helped, right?"  
  
"Gale," Peeta groans. Gale almost answers ' _But she started it'_ , then holds it back in the last minute. Peeta is right. He has to arrange himself with Katniss somehow, and being mean won't help him. He falls into the armchair opposite to them.  
  
"So now what?" he asks Peeta. "Do you have a plan? A timed schedule, for the big event?"  
  
Katniss blushes heavily, but there is also a look of sadness and desperation in her eyes. He suddenly feels like the biggest asshole in the world. Why is he acting like this? The one who hurts most is definitely her, not him.  
  
"As a matter of fact, yeah, I do have a plan," Peeta glares at Gale, "Are you interested in hearing it or do you want to continue to act like that?"  
  
"No...I mean, yeah, I'm interested," Gale answers.  
  
"Me too," Katniss voice is small. _'She's making every effort, and you act like a big brute,'_ Gale thinks to himself.  
  
"You asked me yesterday, what I want," Peeta starts, "What I want and what I realistically can get are different things, though. While you lived your life in District 2, our lives went on without you. We had our ups and downs, and you know it wasn't easy for us. It still isn't. The hijacking and the...things they did to me in the Capitol make it hard for me to be intimate with Katniss. Also the experience of being with you Gale, makes me a bit more...forward than I'd like."  
  
"Forward?" Gale repeats. Wasn't Katniss problem that Peeta wasn't forward enough? That he stopped trying to be with her?  
  
"Yes," Peeta says, "Katniss' idea that you watch us for our first time isn't bad. I would like that, too, if you're willing to do that."  
  
Gale shrugs it off, "I already said I would."  
  
"Yeah," Peeta chuckles darkly, "But you came here and brought some conditions of your own. And well, it's not as easy as you might think it is."  
  
"Okay," Gale repeats, not really listening. It is easy, and Peeta knows it. "So what's your plan now?" He notices that Peeta grabs Katniss' hand hard. She is biting on her lips, but not letting go either.  
  
"Ideally," Peeta continues, "I would like the three of us form a relationship. Like a normal couple. Just with three people, instead of two, with each of us as an equal partner. But...I doubt, it will work. At least as we are now, I'm positive it won't. And I'm not willing to force it."  
  
Gale can make out a lonely tear on Katniss' face and feels himself shivering in the warm and cozy room. What is that supposed to mean?  
  
"I cannot make you leave, Gale," Peeta continues, "If you decide you want to live your life here in District 12, you have every right to it. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not giving you an ultimatum either. But I must tell you this: I'm not willing to risk my relationship with Katniss. If she says she doesn't want us together like that, it is not going to happen. She is the most important. Katniss comes first. I'm sorry."  
  
"So, you're breaking up, before we even tried?" Gale whispers, shocked. Peeta likes him, loves him. It is there in his eyes, his touch. He can't just let it go.  
  
"All I'm saying is that I won't do it, if Katniss doesn't want it," Peeta repeats.  
  
Katniss lets go of Peeta's hand and stares at the table, "And with that, you just hand over the responsibility to me. If I say you cannot be with Gale, I'll be resented sooner or later. I know how much you missed him and desire him. No matter what, I'm going to be at fault. You're taking the easy way out, Peeta."  
  
"There is no easy way out," Peeta says gently, "You're right, I'm letting you decide. And I have another favor to ask."  
  
"What?" Katniss looks at Peeta, deeply through misty grey.  
  
"I want you two, you and Gale to spend more time together. Alone, without me. A week in the woods, maybe?  Go hunting, swimming, whatever you like to do out there. You missed Gale. Missed having a hunting partner, your best friend. I told you repeatedly that he had feelings for you. I want you to do this, to see if the spark is still there. That is my condition. If we're starting a three way relationship, you two need to work together independent of me. You can do whatever you feel like in this week. Don't think of me as a factor, try to forget that I exist. And if you think you two can be friends somehow, come back and we'll try to make it work. That's what I want."  
  
Katniss is crying again, "Do you realize how much pressure you put on me with that?"

She shakes her head.  
  
"Peeta," Gale says, "That sounds nice in theory, but I don't know..."  
  
"Well, then you can pack your things and leave this house right away, Gale," Peeta responds harshly, "It is your choice. You guys don't get why I am doing this. You told me earlier, that you want me to be happy. Were those empty words after all? I don't think this is too much to ask. If you come back after that week and say you still cannot do it, okay. Failed experiment. You go back to your life, stay here in District 12, do whatever you think you need to do and I'll try my hardest to make Katniss happy, without you in the picture. I'm not some willingless tool. I can control myself. I am still in therapy, still working on getting better, improving, facing my desires and our past. I do want to be with you, but it won't kill me, if it won't happen. Just like it won't kill you. What would kill me is losing Katniss. She's the one I'm not willing to let go. This is not what you both want to hear, but well, you came here and pressured me to be honest and now I am and you don't like it. What else am I supposed to do?"  
  
Gale's heart skipped several beats after that speech. He's not sure he expected Peeta to be that blunt. To dismiss him that easily. But didn't he know, didn't he understand all of Peeta's arguments before? That Peeta loved Katniss more than him? More than anything left in this world? Wasn't that why he stayed away? Why he never came back?  
  
"I'm..okay...I'm going, with Katniss. But..don't worry...if it's not going to work out, I'll leave the District. Go back to my old life. I wouldn't be able to stay here." No, he couldn't. He wouldn't stay.  
  
Peeta looks a bit hurt, but that might be his imagination. "It's your choice," he says, turns his head and then, much more gently asks, "Katniss?"  
  
"I don't like it. He killed my sister," she presses out, a tear running down her face, "I can't believe you're asking this of me."  
  
Peeta pales and Gale feels like a ton of bricks are being dropped in his stomach.  
  
Peeta shakes his head. "I'm sorry," he pauses, "You don't have to go. I'm not forcing you. I'm sorry, I asked."  
  
Gale can't believe it. Peeta is trying so hard and she just dismisses it so easily, she won't even try.  
  
"Catnip," he addresses her, "Look at me."  
  
She stubbornly raises her chin at him, her eyes red-rimmed.  
  
"Let's leave all that threesome business aside for a second. Let's not think about Peeta for the moment. Don't you think we could give it a try anyway? Talk it out for own sakes? If you say you'll never want to see me again afterwards, I'll accept it. I'll leave here, no hard feelings. I can't deny it'll be damn tough, but I'll do it. Let's just try, okay?" He wants to add, for her, for Prim, but remembers that she forbid him to say her name, and it seems wrong to bring Prim into the argument anyway. But for his own state of mind, he hopes she'll try. Try to see his side and try to talk it out.  
  
Katniss doesn't look convinced. She has stopped crying, but her back is stiff. She is sitting so close to Peeta, she might be on his lap. Looks uncomfortable anyway. There is a long silence. They both wait.  
  
After a while Katniss begins to talk, "I want to talk to you. Alone....and then...and...we'll go into the woods tomorrow," she looks at Peeta when she says it, "Gale and me."  
  
Peeta breathes out deeply, "Thank you," he says, "I love you."  
  
She nods and stands up. Demonstratively holds out her hand to Peeta.  
  
"Good night, Gale," she says without a glance in his direction. Peeta looks back at Gale, nods, and then they both disappear to the upstairs bedroom. Leaving Gale with cold Peppermint tea, old fruitcake and a lot to think about.

* * *

  
  
Peeta is in his room. He can feel him, almost taste him. What he would give to have Peeta crawl into bed and cuddle a bit, before he has to go and spend a week with a grumpy Katniss, who wishes to be anywhere other than in the woods with him.  
  
"What is it, lil'one?" he asks. It is very early in the day, still dark outside. Peeta is in his work attire, ready to go.  
  
"I packed you guys food that will last you weeks, if need be," Peeta says hesitantly, "I put it in the backpack, leaning against the kitchen cupboard. Katniss is in charge of other necessities."  
  
"Okay," Gale whispers, still wanting to sleep a bit longer, "Won't you come here?"  
  
"I shouldn't," Peeta says. He lingers in the doorway.  
  
"Well, then say what you need to say and let me sleep," Gale groans. He never liked getting up in the middle of the night.  
  
He feels the mattress give way. Peeta sits next to him, not saying a word.  
  
"So, you don't want me," he says, eyes closed. He feels Peeta wince.  
  
"You're not listening. I never said that."  
  
"Hmm," he cuddles the pillow, "Did seem that way."  
  
"Come on, Gale," Peeta starts, "Don't be mad. It's the only way. Katniss and I, we had a long talk yesterday. Whatever happens in the woods, please try not to make it about me, or us. Make it about you and her. Don't hold back, okay?"  
  
"Hold back?" Gale doesn't even know what that is supposed to mean. How can one hold back in terms of friendship? Or does Peeta mean more?  
  
"Don't hold yourself back to spare my feelings. Show your real self to Katniss. Be as honest as you can, as honest as you've been with me. That's all I ask," Peeta stands up again.  
  
Gale raises an eyebrow. Is that an invitation to woo Katniss? Does Peeta really want that? Or is he misinterpreting the boy's words again?  
  
"One last kiss before I go?" he asks, because he fears it'll really be the last time. He cannot see how Katniss will change her mind, just because they hang out in the woods for a week.  
  
"No," Peeta shakes his head, "I can't."  
  
He leans down anyway and presses a fleeting kiss on Gale's sleep tussled locks anyway.  
  
"Be safe."  
  
And then he is gone.  
  
Gale groans. It's going to be a long day.

* * *

  
  
After getting dressed, he goes to the kitchen where Peeta made them breakfast. There is a big backpack leaning against one of the cupboards, supposedly the one with food. Realistically they can hunt and won't really need it, but he is not sure if he wants to eat meat and berries for a whole week.  
  
The house lies silent and he wonders when Katniss will get up. Peeta and her talked last night. And maybe did other things as well. He's seen her possessive streak. He knows he has no right, but he is jealous of her. Jealous that she gets all the attention, jealous that Peeta follows her wishes, and jealous that she is the one in his bed, no matter what they do in there. He is not even allowed cuddling. He's not to keen on facing the reality. His vacation is supposed to last two weeks. If he really is to stay here, he has to call Paylor and quit. Soon. Maybe even today, before they leave. He was so quick to say he would move here, but never really thought about the implications. If Katniss says no to the arrangement, why should he stay? Only to see them every day, holding hands, with her smirking at him? Peeta cannot expect that.  
  
Katniss stands before him, dressed in her usual hunting attire. Her bow and arrow on her back, another bag slung over her shoulder.  
  
"Ready?" she asks, without looking at him, "Got everything you need?"  
  
He nods. He packed a few spare clothes earlier. Standing up he takes the backpack and follows her into the unknown.

* * *

  
  
Katniss takes the lead. They leave the Victor's Village through the back, wander the small path to the Meadow and enter the woods at the edge of the former fence. She stops for a second, breathes in deeply and stares into the distance at some trees. Gale looks at her neck. There is a little drop of sweat, just below her hairline. It's obvious that she's more nervous than she's letting on. He doesn't say a word. It just feels like talking is never their thing. Without Peeta to lead the conversation he's not even sure they will mutter more than two words to each other. Katniss moves to the right, a direction they hardly ventured in when they explored the woods. Since they had to be back in the District sooner or later, the circle around the fence they frequented is not that wide. He follows.  
  
After four hours of walking, he is quite sure he hasn't seen these parts of the woods before. Katniss stops at some tree trunk and turns around.  
  
"I need the backpack," she says, and her voice feels alien, after such a long silence.  
  
He takes it off his back. He's been sweating heavily, for more reasons than simple exhaustion. Handing it over, she opens it and searches for something inside. Then she hands him another piece of the old fruitcake. It is petty, and he suspects that it wasn't Peeta that packed it, but her. But then she takes another piece for herself munching on it quietly. It hardly stills their hunger, but they are used to worse. Katniss seems to want to go on as quickly as possible.  
  
And walk they do. They hike along a small river for a while, filling up their water supplies. Katniss crosses it half a mile later and he has trouble keeping up. She obviously knows where she is going and he only can follow, her pace or fall behind. They walk and walk and walk. He has time to think, alone with her, the woods. The thought that it isn't the best idea to be that far from the District crosses his mind. What if something happens? What if there is an accident? He has a communicuff, but isn't sure if it works in such a remote area. Either way, he never questions her. It seems to be that this whole trip has to be on her terms.  
  
Hours later, he is as hungry as a mountain lion. His stomach has been grumbling for a while, and she surely did notice, but keeps wandering. Dusk is upon them, and he wonders if she will walk through the night when Katniss abruptly turns left. There is a little hill, she circles around and he can just make out a small rock formation to his right. It looks unnatural. Human made. Just as he is about to ask, he makes out the outlines of a lake through the trees. They climb down and where the earth gets a bit sandier, there stand the ruins of several buildings.  
  
Looking around in wonder, he sees Katniss settling down in the nearest building-like structure. There is a fire place inside, but the walls have fallen in, and the roof is long gone.  
  
"That's amazing Catnip," he whispers, following, "When did you find this?"  
  
"Shortly after I came back to the District," she says, preparing a small fire, kneeling on one of the two blankets she got out of her bag. "I...spent a lot of time exploring. There is another old settling about thirty miles north from Twelve. It's in worse condition than this here. I found a few ruined villages from before the dark days. I didn't think we would make it out here in one day, but well..."  
  
He looks at her.  
  
"You're fast. Move swiftly. Now I know, it is possible," she states.  
  
Peeta had told him that Katniss needed space. That she disappeared for days or sometimes even weeks. To who knows where.  
  
"Have you been mapping out the area?" he asks curiously, "Maybe we could ask for a Hovercraft to help."  
  
She looks at him as if he has grown a second head, "I'm not allowed to leave District 12," she states coldly.  
  
He bites his lip, "Oh come on. They surely won't mind a flight in a Hovercraft over the area."  
  
"I wouldn't know," she stares at the fire, and her voice becomes distant, "I'm not the one who has connections to the government. It doesn't matter, as I don't want to be in a Hovercraft. You're the one who enjoyed that. Not me."  
  
He isn't sure how to answer that. It might've been a stupid thing to say, she is right about that. He wonders why she never took Peeta on her trips, but refrains from mentioning him. Yawning, he takes out his sleeping bag. Katniss heats a can of soup over the fire and they share it with some bread from the bakery.  
  
He lies down, silent, and watches the night sky above. The first day is over already and he cannot see how they are going to see eye to eye. How they are ever going to speak about their true feelings. Just when he is getting comfortable with her, he says something hurtful. Sighing he turns around, falling asleep.

* * *

  
  
He wakes to the sound of Mockingjays. Or is he still dreaming?  
  
Katniss is in his line of vision, unpacking the provisions backpack. She is giggling a bit, making him smile.  
  
"What's up?" he asks gently, "I wanna laugh, too."  
  
She looks at him and then back at the provisions. "Oh, it's just...Peeta packed so much food. And some of it...look here, two berry tartlets. It's going to get stale. He really has no idea."  
  
He props himself up, looking at the tartlets.  
  
"And look at all these wrappings and boxes. We'll have to take this stuff back to Twelve," Katniss groans, "I'm sorry you had to carry that."  
  
"No worries," he answers, grinning, "You won't get the Town out of Peeta, it looks like."  
  
Katniss laughs at that. "True. But look, nothing is crumpled. He knows what he's doing."  
  
"Yeah," he says, getting up. Peeta knows what he is doing. He knows Katniss better than Gale does. He knows Gale better than Katniss does. And he knows that there is something there, between the two of them. A connection. Katniss smiles brightly when she hands him one of the berry tartlets. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

  
  
The woods, being outdoors and the nature change Katniss' attitude. They decide to place some snares in the area, and eat most of the perishable food that day. It's going to get stale soon, they have no way to cool it and the temperature is high. They don't talk much, but explore the area and the abundance of animals is mind-blowing.  
  
"We can dry some fish and bring them back, what do you think?" she asks that evening.  
  
"There is more food in this area that we can realistically eat, so yeah. We'll roll back into Twelve, at the end of the week," he grins.  
  
"Speak for yourself," she answers. "I'm going for a swim tomorrow. It's not me who has a comfortable desk job. Look at your belly. It's getting bigger than Peeta's."  
  
"Catnip," he says warningly, "Watch what you're saying. I'm not sitting at the desk all day. I do field missions. And I go to the gym."  
  
The smile leaves her face at his mentioning of field missions. He curses himself. She was almost flirting with him, almost admitted she looked at his abs. And he has to talk about field missions, of all things.  
  
"I'm sorry," he says quickly, "I didn't mean..."  
  
"Do you regret it?" she interrupts and he doesn't have to ask what she means with that.  
  
"There isn't a second in my life that I don't. I think about it all the time. This guilt...it's been eating away at me. It's...why I work for the government. I want to be involved. The bombs, they had been my and Beetee's plan, but I never stopped to think...it was all so vague. I never grasped that those who died, were people, real humans, because I didn't know them. Or I didn't want to see. Now I want to know. I want to make sure something like this won't happen again. I have been immature. I'd like to think I changed, but sometimes I'm not sure I did."  
  
Katniss doesn't answer.  
  
"The way I've been treating you...not following your wishes with Peeta, it...was unfair. And here I am screwing up, time and time again, and I just don't know how to stop it," he finishes. "I'm making it all about me, again. I'm a bastard."  
  
He takes a deep breath.  
  
"I will leave District 12. Go back to my life. I had no right to come here. But you called....I was so happy, and yeah, I did believe we could be something again. I never really thought it through. And then I was caught up in the euphoria of being back. I don't know..."  
  
"I cannot help you," she says after a while. "I cannot give you absolution or whatever you need to get better. It just won't work. Have you...I mean, did you ever think you might benefit from therapy? I think you would. It does seem that you barely talk about these things, and I'm definitely not the right person for that."  
  
He shakes his head. He never thought about this.  
  
"You also lost your father...and you say you want to change, but are not sure how. Therapy helped me. It helped me and Peeta, believe it or not. I think no matter if you leave or stay, it would be good for you."  
  
"I'll think about it," he says and he means it. She is right. A professional might be exactly what he needs. What they need.  
  
"Did you talk to Dr. Aurelius, about the three of us?" he asks after a while. Is the doctor perhaps to blame for Katniss idea to have him watch?  
  
She shakes her head. "No. That...was not something we talked about. Well, maybe it was. It seems like Dr. Aurelius' knew about you and Peeta. He doesn't tell me about Peeta's sessions."  
  
He just nods.  
  
They settle down to sleep when Katniss speaks up again, against the glowing embers.  
  
"You didn't pursue Peeta after the rebellion because of me."  
  
It's a statement rather than a question. They had talked about it when he first came back, but he nods.  
  
"And you wouldn't have returned here, if I hadn't asked you to."  
  
"No," he simply says. "I wouldn't have."  
  
He waits for more, but there is nothing coming from her side of the fire. They fall asleep.

* * *

  
  
The next day they spend swimming. She has a bathing suit from the Capitol and appears wearing it at breakfast already.  
  
"Do you have swimming trunks, or something?" she asks, not meeting his eye. He can't help but notice her body in the suit. It's toned, beautiful. She looks like a goddess with a topknot.  
  
"No," he answers. He didn't bring any. He would go in naked, but that seems too forward and he already notices her discomfort.  
  
"I'm going in my underwear," he says and she nods.  
  
She is a better swimmer than him by far. She cuts through the cool liquid like a dolphin. The lake is not that big, they circled it on foot in twenty minutes. After almost an hour of swimming on her side and more splashing on his, he returns to the shore, into the cool shade of one of the buildings. He leans back against the rock, content with watching. Searching his bag for some cigarettes he finds something else. He didn't even remember he had this. It's not morphling, not genetically altered stuff. It's some sort of plant that helps him relax, when he smokes it. A co-worker gave it to him when he complained about insomnia a few weeks ago. Would he dare? He looks at Katniss out there. It's a medicine, in a way. Perhaps even her mother would approve. She might need something to relax, too.  
  
He rolls two cigarettes and lights one of them. It's effecting him quickly, as he feels the world calm down. Everything is peaceful and nice. The sun is shining, but it's not too hot. He looks down at his underwear. The white pants have become transparent. Every inch, every curl -  it's visible.  
  
"What are you doing?" Katniss stands a few feet away, sun at her back, drops of water on her skin. She's a vision alright.  
  
"Smoking Catnip," he grins at her. "You?"  
  
"Wouldn't you rather eat something? Smoking is bad for your health." Her cheeks look healthy, flushing pink.  
  
"Haven't we eaten enough?" he groans. It's true. They had like seven cheese buns this morning. That they weren't fresh wasn't the problem, but he has enough of all that rich bakery food. He waves her over.  "Come here."  
  
She comes closer hesitantly, her eyes concentrating on the top of his head.  
  
"Ever smoked a cigarette, Catnip?" he inquires.  
  
"Why would I spend my money on cigarettes?" she counters back. "They are not good for you."  
  
She leans against the wall.

"I got drunk once," she suddenly admits, as if she's confessing some grave error, "With Haymitch. It wasn't so bad....until I woke up the next morning. The pain was back and when I asked Haymitch what he does, he just said to never let it get that far. To keep drinking. I lost every desire to do it again, right then."  
  
"That's understandable," he says. "You're strong. You won't become an addict from one little smoke though. This is something else. It'll help you relax."  
  
"Are you trying to drug me?" she asks lightly.  
  
"What would that accomplish? Listen, you don't have to do anything you don't want," he answers, holding up his hands in peaceful gesture. He takes another drag.  
  
"Yeah," she retorts, "It's always my choice isn't it? You don't have to go to therapy, if you don't want. You don't have to sleep in my house, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to lift a finger, if you don't feel like it. And you certainly don't have to go with Gale, no hard feelings. Just do what _you_ want."  
  
He stares at her. What is she talking about?  
  
"Okay, I'll smoke," she states, holding out her hand. "Light up."  
  
The first drag makes her cough. He is wise enough, to not say a word. The rest they smoke in silence, watching the lake in the early afternoon sun. He hasn't felt that good in years. Can life get any better?  
  
He looks over at Katniss and finds her staring at him. Well, not at him, at his crotch. She is openly staring, no signs of a blush.  
  
"You're dry again."  
  
"Mmh," he answers slowly.  
  
"It doesn't look like...that morning," she says, "I cannot see."  
  
He is still, completely still. He waits for a while. Her nipples press against the bathing suit. It is not exactly cold out here.  
  
"I want to see," she whispers.  
  
"I'll get hard," he warns, feeling the tingle already.  
  
"I want to see," she repeats, still staring. He pulls down his underwear, and there he is. Buck naked. He's not embarrassed and she is neither. His cock rises and rises, until he can't stand it.  
  
"Catnip," he groans, "I need to..."  
  
He doesn't wait for an answer, for permission, for any signal of acceptance. He grabs himself and begins to rub. Even in this hazy state of mind, he feels the roughness of his hand. It's a bit uncomfortable to do it like this, dry. A whimper next to him, makes him look at her. She's so beautiful. In her tight little bathing suit. Her thighs pressed together, her hands clenching into fists, she slowly rocks her pelvis forward into the air, into nothing. He closes his eyes and fists the mud at his side, groaning, moaning, losing it. It's been so long, so fucking long and he is here, with her in the woods and it is perfect and he lets go. Moans into the open, comes heavily, deeply and spurts cum all over his stomach.  
  
Katniss is next to him, close to him and her lips are at his nose, whimpering.  
  
"Can I?"  
  
He's not sure what she's asking, but he nods, and suddenly her fingers are there, playing with his jizz, massaging it into his abs, and he almost can't believe what is happening.  
  
"It was a lie," she laughs into his ear, "You don't have a belly."

She spreads out his remains in his black pubic curls, a carefree twinkle in her eyes. The sticky beady drops sparkle in the sun, while Katniss plays with them, seems fascinated, no signs of disgust on her face. "You're beautiful."  
  
He blushes, blushes hard. He doesn't deserve her love. And she is really trying. What have they done?  
  
"I'm sorry," he whispers, "That smoke...that was a bad idea. I didn't want to...manipulate you...ugh...just make you relaxed."  
  
"Don't worry," she says, "If we're going to be together, we might as well get comfortable. I have been thinking about your cock," she giggles at the word, "Since I got here."  
  
"What?" he looks on in disbelief, feeling himself grow hard again.  
  
"Wanting to compare," she giggles more, "You and Peeta. Peeta did it for me, before."  
  
"Ah," he moans, barely comprehending what she is saying. "When? Where? How?"  
  
"It's a secret," she whispers, her palms dangerously close, "You both are beautiful. Did you think of him, while you did it?"  
  
"No," he answers honestly. "No. I thought of you. You're the last girl I kissed, Catnip. The last I..."  
  
Katniss voice is wondrous, "Really?"  
  
"I couldn't go to another. I never wanted another again. Only you. You and Peeta. They hurt so much, these years without you. Please."  
  
He doesn't know what he's begging her for. She surely won't give him a handjob, but he's fucking hard again and the urge to have her hands on his cock is unbelievable. He doesn't dare to ask. This is not something they should do together. Haven't they gone too far already? Peeta said not to hold back. What did that mean? He cannot want them to go further than this, without being there, can he?  
  
Reaching out for her hand, she lets him hold it. He can feel his squishy wet remains between her fingers. This is so surreal. His senses are heightened, her sweet smell is surrounding him, everything is intensified. The opportunity might never come again. He groans.  
  
"Catnip, would you like to be with both of us?" he whispers.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We can make you feel good. Me and Peeta," he explains, "Both him and me, we can love you until you reach new heights, I promise. And if you want, we can take care of Peeta together. I can show you how to make him squirm. How to get him lose control. We can make him feel bliss like he never knew possible."  
  
"Hmm," she whispers, "Sounds nice. Won't you do it again, Gale? For me?"  
  
He puts his free hand on his cock once more, "Anything for you. Anything."

* * *

  
  
He hasn't masturbated like that in years. He does it so many times in the next hours, that his penis starts to hurt. Katniss doesn't touch herself. She squeezes her thighs together and licks her lips, but never does he actually see her hand seek herself out, under the swimsuit. He keeps his eyes elsewhere, not wanting to leer at her, scare her. They go back to swim for some time, but he makes sure they do not to go into deep. They slowly leave their high and rest in the sun. She asks him to do it for her one last time and then excuses herself to go hunting. He wants to go with, but she shakes her head. The sun is setting when she returns with two rabbits from her snares.  
  
"No luck with the bow," she tells him, but her quiver is almost full. She is blushing now, and he knows the high is gone completely by the way she cannot meet his gaze. He is wearing fresh clothes, leaving his old ones to dry on the rocks, after washing them in the lake. He tries to talk to her, tries to find out what she is feeling, if there are any regrets now, but Katniss shuts down. Where do they stand? He knew before that there was desire, a sexual connection between them. But is that enough? Enough to overcome the pain of the past and her hatred of him? He doubts it is, as she almost ignores him the entire following day. She is so different to Peeta, he doesn't know what to do. He is not as clever, so how to coax her out of this? He's not a talker. He doesn't have any arguments. The week is flying by and he begins to regret the day they smoked together. If Katniss cannot bring herself to relax around him when there aren't any drugs involved, there is no hope left.  
  
They decide to hunt elk, the day before the week is up. There have been elk prints in the woods around them, and they've heard their calls at dawn, each morning. They rise with the sun, but when they are gone from the lake about forty minutes later, thunder can be heard in the distance.  
  
He gives Katniss a look, "Turn back?"  
  
"What are you? Made of sugar?" she shakes her head, "A little rain never kept me from bringing food to the table." He shrugs, following her deeper into the woods. They have been more than lucky with that heat weave, this last week. The temperature is dropping now, rapidly, and he actually doesn't want to be caught in a thunderstorm. The surrounding woods provide shelter, but not like a roof over their heads. Twenty minutes later it starts to hail. Hailstones, the size of lizard eggs, bombard them and Katniss finally agrees that it is best that they forget the elk and return. They begin to run when he sees Katniss slip on a hailstone. She falls in slow motion, grunting. It looked painful, but she shakes her head when he offers a hand. She stands up and they walk quickly now, but after a while it is obvious that Katniss is in trouble. She is pale around her nose and limping.  
  
"Give me your bow and arrows," he says to her and she complies without resistance. He puts on her quiver and before she can so much as protest lifts her up in his arms.  
  
"What? Let me down, Gale," she whimpers, but there is no real conviction behind it.  
  
"I'll carry you home," he says and she just nods, resigning herself to fate.

* * *

  
  
What seemed like a nice thing to do earlier, is slowly becoming an agonizing task. The hail doesn't give and Katniss, though frail as bird, is heavy including all her hunting equipment. He can not even enjoy her being so close to him, her breath against his neck, her tits against his chest. She is gripping his shoulders, rivulets of sweat running down his back.  
  
"Why don't we rest until the hail lets up?" She whispers into his ear, but he shakes his head. If they stop now, he's not sure he'll get up again. It can't be that far now.

* * *

  
  
It is far. They arrive at the ruins hours later and Gale nearly collapses after sitting Katniss gently on her blanket. It is wet, the makeshift canvas they stretched over their belongings long gone. It stopped hailing, but everything is wet. He's worried, searching for his first aid kit in his backpack. Katniss watches him silently. He takes off her shoes and he checks her ankle. It looks swollen, but it seems like nothing is broken. He sighs out in relief and puts a cooling spray on the area before bandaging her up.  
  
"Do you want me to get you something? I think there are a few crackers left, that were in a tin," he rummages through their provisions, "Fuck, everything is soaked. Stupid hail."  
  
"Relax, Gale," her voice is soothing, "Won't you rest a bit? I'm okay, really."  
  
He shakes his head. She is hurting and now it's going to be one hell of a task to even get a fire running. He is a survival expert and not thinking of something like this happening makes him angry.  
  
"Gale," she says gently, "It's only our last day here. It's okay."  
  
"No, it's not," he groans "You'll get sick. See? Your teeth are chattering already. I'm so stupid."  
  
He stalks off to the nearby woods, searching for dry wood. There has to be some area that was more sheltered. He finds a small cave-like structure a few hundred feet to the south. It's only small enough for rabbits and the like, but there are twigs inside, and they are as dry as sandpaper. He carries them back to Katniss and they start a fire, while he goes searching for more.  
  
It's evening before the canvas is dry and he tries to stretch it out again, but it comes down immediately.  
  
"Let's just sleep under the stars tonight," Katniss offers. He's in a bad mood and just grunts. He didn't imagine their last day here like this. He wanted it to be a positive experience, something he would look back at fondly. Them hunting, having fun, eating. It somehow irks him that it all went awry.  
  
He tries to sleep, but it is hard when everything is wet. The fire went out long ago, and he begins to freeze. Somewhere to his left Katniss sneezes. Then nothing.

He must fall asleep somehow, because when he wakes again, Katniss is in his arms, back against his front. His body, freezing just earlier is now lulled in her warm sweetness. Katniss hasn't showered in a week, like he did. They only washed themselves in the lake in the morning. But still. She smells so nice. It's a warm, female scent and he can't help, but wrap his arms around her, squeezing her tighter against him.  
  
"Why did you fall in love with Peeta?"  
  
She knows he's awake. Her voice is small. There is serious curiosity in it. She really wants to know.  
  
"That's a hard question to answer," he whispers into her ear, "Why do people fall in love? I don't know. It just happened."  
  
"And why did you fall out of love with me?"  
  
He swallows. Katniss seemingly wants to adress the serious issues, too, before they head back.  
  
"I didn't. I'm still in love with you."  
  
"You said otherwise."  
  
"I know," he smiles against her ear, "I lied."  
  
He feels himself reacting to her proximity and curses himself. It's not good, to be that close, when they talk seriously.  
  
"Peeta told me why."  
  
He waits, but no further information comes.  
  
"Told you why?"  
  
"Why he fell in love with you. And I think it's a good reason. It's the reason why...." she stops and swallows, "Why I'll try to make this work. Us work."  
  
Her teeth chatter.  
  
"What is it?" he asks, hating how his voice seems to run away with him. He coughs lightly.  
  
"You took care of him," she simply answers into the night, adding "When nobody else did."  
  
"Oh," he says back, feeling guilty immediately. That's not really true, is it? That was only his own desires...and later he abandoned Peeta.  
  
"You always took good care of people. You do have a good heart, Gale. I know this. That's why I trusted you with their lives when I left for the Hunger Games. You wouldn't have let them starve. And just yesterday, I saw that you are still that person. There is a part of you that is dark, vengeful and cold. But you gave Peeta love. You made him fight to return to me. And, in my book, that's definitely worth something."  
  
He wants to protest. It's not to his credit that Peeta returned to Katniss.  
  
"And what about you?" he shivers. If they don't talk about this part of their relationship it is going to backfire, "Didn't you come here, invited me and all to please Peeta? Where is your motivation? I'd hate it if you forced yourself into this. It might even scare you away when you...well, you see me and Peeta together."  
  
Katniss shudders in response, "No, I don't think so."  
  
"How can you be sure?"  
  
She grabs his hand and moves it in front of her. Into her jeans, and lower into her panties. Gale gasps. Katniss is curly, and hot and...slick. She's slick with desire. His cock almost does a happy jump.  
  
"Oh, come on," she whispers, "Now you're acting all shy? After all we did this week."  
  
His hand still resting on her pussy, he is speechless for once.  
  
"Well, I did things. You just watched and barely raised an eyebrow, Catnip," he chuckles against her head finally.  
  
"It just isn't that obvious for me, Mr. Slag Heap," she says, a little out of breath, "I thought you were the expert on girls. Or should I say, the expert on me? Peeta told me you liked to fantasize about me. So, now, let's fantasize about Peeta."  
  
Oh gosh, they did talk about it. About them.  
  
"Tell me how...he likes it. Tell me what makes him lose control, tell me all about it. And while you're at it....take care of me, like you took care of him, okay?"  
  
He's sure she is blushing heavily, but he can't see. He's so impressed with her courage, never expecting her to come forward like this - he nearly comes on the spot. What has he done to impress her like this tonight? He sure as hell wasn't trying to please her, was even more grumpy than usual.  
  
Well, she probably chose exactly this position because he cannot look into her eyes. But one thing he can do. Talk dirty to her, and finger her heavenly sweet slit, the way she deserves.  
  
"I will," he says, voice low, "Take care of my little Catnip."  
  
Katniss moans and leans herself back against his chest. The hand that is not occupied taking care of her velvety folds, finds her right tit and begins to squeeze it gently.  
  
There will be no more teeth chattering tonight.

* * *

  
  
Katniss is an inexperienced woman. He can tell by her clumsy movements, that she likes what he does, but he is almost positive she has no idea what an orgasm feels like. She does not have one that night, but she moans, and groans and presses her tight little ass against his cock. It's so hot, it almost drives him crazy. He cannot remember the last time he had a girl in his arms. Never had one he loved anyway. Katniss reacts so honestly, her sweet voice distracting him, because he enjoys listening so much. He tries his best with the description of Peeta's eyes, hands, ass and cock, makes her shudder and when his language gets even dirtier he goes on and on about fucking and sucking and all the things they loved to do. He describes giving Peeta a nice slow blow job and Katniss whimpers. And when he tells her how Peeta would eat her out, she humps against his hands as if there is no tomorrow.  
  
They calm down after a while and even his erection goes away, without him having an accident in his pants.  
  
"I can't wait until we're back in Twelve," she says, "Can't wait until Peeta joins this. Us."  
  
He waits for a second, but finally asks, afraid of her reaction.  
  
"Can I kiss you?" he presses out, under his breath. She flinches. "Not allowed?" he asks gently.  
  
"What do you mean?" she asks into the night.  
  
"What did Peeta say to you, that last evening before we came here? Did he...did he make you promise something?"  
  
"Why? I'm making my own decisions. It is like you told me before. I'm not a slave to my hormones, Gale. I can control myself."  
  
"I didn't mean...I didn't think we would go farther...I mean, what we actually did tonight was more than I dreamed of. But did he...not tell you about boundaries or so? I mean, you haven't looked at me the whole evening. You probably know all the veins on my cock by name, and I can't even kiss you. It just feels...unfair."  
  
She wiggles around until they are chest to chest.  
  
"You smell sweaty," she states and he smiles.  
  
 "Sorry, I carried a Mockingjay through the woods, earlier."  
  
"Your veins have names?" she looks at him through these grey eyes he can barely make out in the dark,  
  
"I was just kidding," he smiles.  
  
"Peeta said to do what my heart tells me to do. No hard feelings. I told him nothing would happen between me and you. I believed it myself until we got here. But now it did, and it...I'm not feeling like I've done something wrong. I enjoyed this week. We can do that...more often, if you like? As I said, there are several small villages around the area. You're a good companion. Quiet."  
  
Gale's heart feels heavy in his chest. She's inviting him in. Into her life. There is going to be a couple Katniss and Gale. He can barely contain the huge grin, spreading on his face.  
  
"My sweet Catnip," he whispers, "I'll make it worth it. I promise."  
  
He leans down, cupping her face gently. She is flushed tightly against his body when their lips collide. It's the sweetest, most loving kiss he shared with her. He feels her heart beat happily against his.  
  
When they break apart, Katniss' olive skin glows pinkish.  
  
"Would you..." she begins, stops...then gnaws on her lip, "Would you..."  
  
"Anything, Catnip."  
  
"Join us, in bed? For our first time? No armchair, I promise. That was mean."  
  
"It wasn't mean. That came from a place of love. It's not a bad idea, but I'm glad you ask. I want to make you happy, Catnip. You and Peeta."  
  
She waits for a moment, then buries her face against his chest again.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't say I love you. I like you, I care for you. But...I'm....I love Peeta. This is confusing."  
  
"You don't have to be in love with me, Catnip. Especially not like you're in love with him. We have a different relationship. It's okay to feel this way. He loves you, too. More than he ever loved me."  
  
"Doesn't that hurt you, Gale?" she whispers, "That you're not the significant other?"  
  
He is not sure if she's asking on his or her behalf.  
  
"Whoever decided that there has to be only 'The One' anyway? Why can't there be the special two? Who forced these rules on us? We live in a free world now, Katniss. We fought for it. Anything is possible. If you have no problems with it, I won't either. I've been happier with you this week and with Peeta before the Quarter Quell than I've ever been. It's okay. We have each other. This is what counts."  
  
Katniss seems to ponder that for a while.  
  
"I'm tired," she whispers, "I hope I can make it back tomorrow. My ankle feels better already."  
  
He nods, eyes starting to flutter. It has been a tough day indeed. A tough but happy day. Tomorrow, they'll track back home. And work hard at making this happen.  
  
A future - as three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another transitional chapter. I know that a lot of problems haven't been adressed, that the issues some of you had last time, aren't really solved. Look at it from another angle...there is more to come. Sooner or later. I hope you all have fun with your bunnies, by the way, and even found something worthwhile in such a chapter. It wasn't easy to write this, but I hope the bunnies let me move forward now.


	13. On the way back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Gale return home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I should be finishing another fic of mine. Don't be too mad at me. I hope I can conclude both of my WIP's before the year is over. Thank you for being so kind, leaving kudos and comments. I couldn't wish for a better audience, so enjoy this Chapter Twelve, On the way back. *bowsdeeply*

"Gale," comes a whisper, against his ear.

He grumbles. Just a few more minutes. It's not exactly comfortable here on the cold ground so he opens his eyes slowly. A pink dawn is hidden by the treeline at the edge of his vision. Groaning once more he tries to turn around when he feels a weight against him. He blinks, once, twice and sees Katniss head leaning against his chest, her legs entangled in his.  
  
"Gale," she says again. "Good morning."  
  
Her voice is light, carefree. Since when? When did Katniss ever sound carefree? Her voice was always laced through with a hidden pain, something holding her back, something very melancholic. That, he supposes, is the thing that makes her such a wonderful singer. That she knows about pain, about heartbreak, and those who really listen can hear that in her voice.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asks worriedly. "Ankle still swollen?"  
  
"No...well, I don't know, I haven't stood up," she says.  
  
He thinks, then, why don't you? But she looks up at him and her eyes seem glazed over slightly and her breath is short.  
  
"You don't have a fever, Catnip, do you?" He holds his hand against her forehead, to test. She is warm, alright, but not overly so.  
  
"I don't know," she answers, "I feel weird."  
  
"Weird how? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong," she says, and there is some raspy impatience there. Or does he imagine that?

"Help me out," she murmurs, and buries her face in his chest again.  
  
"Do you want me to lift you up? Get you some breakfast? Please, tell me what's wrong with you?"  
  
He doesn't understand why she is still hanging onto him like that. They should get up, they should get moving. The plan is to get back today because their provisions that haven't gone stale are surely inedible after getting wet yesterday.  
  
Katniss begins to rub her nose against his chest, sniffling, and then slowly, but steadily brings one of her hands to his breast. Shyly begins to circle his nipple with one of her fingers. _Oh._  
  
Oh, he is so _dense_. This is what's happening here. This is Katniss telling him, she is horny, without actually telling him. _'Feeling weird'_ , alright.  
  
"What do you usually do when you feel weird, Catnip?" he teases. "Early in the morning, when you wake up, Peeta is long gone to the bakery and you're all alone in that bed of yours. Just you and that _weird_ feeling."  
  
A dark red blot forms on Katniss cheeks when she looks up at him. Either way, she doesn't hide from his gaze.  
  
"Don't tease," she says, her voice low, shaking. He senses an opportunity. This is a chance. When will he and Katniss be alone together again? He doesn't know, but if she learns to get a little bit more relaxed and open with him, it will be easier for Peeta to face both of them in the bedroom at the same time. Peeta, who has his very own demons and shouldn't be too anxious when the time finally comes.  
  
"Oh, but I will," he says and her eyes grow confused, "Because that's half the fun, isn't it?"  
  
Admittedly, he is curious. How she reacts now will determine how he will continue to treat her. He knows, she is brave. No matter how anxious, Katniss is also a curious cat. And she is just admitting to these feelings, perhaps afraid of confronting Peeta with them. Maybe if they get some of her more primal urges out in the open, it'll be much sweeter in the end.  
  
He leans down and kisses her on the mouth. Long, wet and slow. His tongue teasing hers, coaxing hers, making her shudder. She opens her legs slightly and begins to rub against of his knees. Some part of him, the part that held him back from coming to District 12 in the first place, wonders if this is alright. If this is not terribly wrong. Yeah, Peeta wanted this for them. He will be happy about it, he practically ordered both of them to get it sorted out. But this is the third time they do something sexual and he can't help but wonder, if they shouldn't. He doesn't want Peeta to be jealous. The earlier feelings of wanting to possess Katniss, of getting her first, of making her choose him are completely gone. Not even an echo remains.  
  
He turns away from her and says, as gently as he can, "I think we should go home now."  
  
Katniss' face changes. It was happy and soft and carefree. Now her brows crunch together, her eyelids drop slightly and her whole body deflates.

Gale Hawthorne is a fool.

This is _Katniss Everdeen_.

The girl who has been innocent and sweet and would've invited him into her bedroom, because she loves Peeta so much. She is still shy, she is still unsure, she is very much inexperienced and she is trying her hardest to articulate feelings that are foreign to her. Feelings she's been afraid of, all her life.  
  
Katniss makes to get up, but he is quicker. He grabs her around the waist and lies her against his cock, which has grown explicitly during their heated kissing.  
  
"Stay," he says, "We still have enough time for you to tell me what got you so riled up. A sweet, wet dream of Peeta jerking himself to climax in your bed, maybe? Because I bet that's what he's doing at this moment. Forgets the world around himself, that he has to be at work, that there are buns to be made, and cakes to be baked. He is only thinking of you, and how wet your little pussy is. And you do the same. Every morning, is that right? He goes to work and you feel _weird_ and that's what you're thinking about."  
  
Katniss' mouth is open in shock. He has talked dirty to her yesterday, but she didn't look him in the eye, it was dark and he only fingered her a little. This is different. This is real, she cannot hide. What will she do? He feels pressure, warm pressure against his cock and now it is his turn to look a bit confused. She returns to circle her hips against his.  
  
"And what do _you_ do, Gale Hawthorne? Tell me. Every night, in that stupid apartment of yours for the last two years? I bet you never slept when I called at midnight. The way you touched yourself proved it. You are the one getting stiff when you think of Peeta. Don't even try to hide it. Your cock grows hard imagining Peeta jerking off."  
  
He growls, meeting her hips, circling against her, "Well, well," he moans against her lips, "I'm not hiding, I'm not denying. It's true. I've done it. Not once, not twice, but hundreds of times. But lately not as often as on the shore of the lake. After you asked me to. You loved it. You like it. You think, it's hot."  
  
His hands are on her ass cheeks now and he has that weird urge to slap them, only to manage holding himself back in the last second.  
  
"Yeah," she moans, "I loved it. I think, it's hot. And I love to think of Peeta." She stops... "Peeta."  
  
"When you went into the woods, you touched yourself," he suddenly realizes.  
  
"Uh," she whimpers, "Yeah."  
  
"How do you do it, Catnip," his voice is rough. He knows, he is short of coming. Just from rubbing against her. It's strange. "Please, tell me. I want to know."  
  
"No. It's nothing special."  
  
"Please," he repeats. "Did you undress?" He almost can't stand the image. Katniss disappearing in the woods, shedding that stupid bathing suit, her tits full and perky, glittering in the sunlight. Her slender legs, sliding down on the mossy grass, her pussy pulsing, while she fingers herself roughly and moans Peeta's name. Or maybe his name. He whimpers, too.  
  
"I didn't. When I... I always wear clothes, pajamas...or underwear and sort of hump my...hump it against my knuckle, lying on my stomach," Katniss says, her voice so low, he almost doesn't hear.  
  
It doesn't matter, because he comes anyway, into his boxers, soiling himself.

Not good. This was his last change of underwear and he has no time to wash it.

Katniss looks at him in shock. Shock and...disappointment? Suddenly, he feels like laughing. He grins and laughs loudly, while he cuddles against her face and nuzzles gently.  
  
"Oh, Catnip," he chuckles, "You should see your face right now."  
  
Katniss jumps up, wincing. Probably forgot her about her ankle.  
  
"Get your things. I want to make it back to Twelve before it's dark," she says coldly, "And wipe that stupid grin of your face. It doesn't suit you."  
  
"Wait," he says, still smiling, "I didn't plan that. This happens sometimes. I'm sorry. You were too cute. Now come back and let me make you feel good, maybe let me eat you out? I'm good at that."  
  
He always wanted to do that and burying his face between Katniss' legs would be the highlight of this trip, he is sure. But the look on Katniss' face is not one of sweet arousal anymore. She looks embarrassed and angry.  
  
"Sure you are," she says coolly, and his face falls, "You're the sex expert. The Know-it-all of Peeta's desires and of the wants and needs of countless girls you fucked so skillfully at the slag heap over the years. Good for you."  
  
What? Where did that come from?

His face heats. Does she really think that?  
  
_'You presented yourself that way,'_ a voice in his head seems to mock. _'She admits how she_ _masturbates and you laugh at her. How can you expect her to love you and care for you when you hurt her feelings, every chance you get?'_  
  
He gets up slowly, aware of his soiled underwear and searches for an older pair in his backpack. Then he sloughs behind the trees to relieve himself and to change. When he returns, Katniss is already finished, waits for him. She stares at the lake, playing with a strap of her backpack with one hand, while she nibbles on a cracker, she's holding with the other. She left a cracker next to his backpack and he sighs. He never meant to embarrass her. He did want to satisfy her, but somehow he doubts she will let him touch her again. Not on this trip. He refuses to believe though, that this will change anything. It can't mean she is uncomfortable now. She won't tell Peeta he overstepped the line, would she? And she...will she reject him? Because of _one_ stupid mistake? One stupid slip up? Why did this happen, when everything seemed so good and perfect yesterday? When the future for the three of them seemed written in stone, when happiness was in his grasp? Is their relationship so fragile?  
  
"Gale," a soft voice is in his ear again. He hasn't heard. He hasn't realised that he is kneeling next to his backpack and tears are running down his face. He didn't notice that he had been crying and that he had been silently staring at his bedroll for minutes, without moving. He never saw himself as such an emotional mess, such a weak character.  
  
"Will you.." His chin shudders, "...will you send me away now?" He can barely say the words. He is short of begging. _'Please. Don't. I don't want to lose you.'_ For one minute of horniness. Go back to that shallow existence of nothing but work. _'Please',_ he begs silently, _'don't break my heart.'_  
  
She caresses his hair gently.

"No," she says, "No."  
  
After a while she stands up. "Let's go."  
  
He follows.

* * *

  
  
  
The trip back is equally as uncomfortable as the journey a week ago was. Gale doesn't know what to say to Katniss. Countless apologies lie on his tongue, one sounding more insincere than the other. Gale can only admit his fears to himself. He shows Katniss and Peeta that cocky facade of the ever knowing Lover. Who knows how to please the ladies and who knows how to make a men blow his load with only the brush of a hand.  
  
But, and that thought gets stronger and stronger, while he walks behind Katniss, is that really _him_? And aren't Peeta and Katniss the knowledgable ones? Who understand love, who understand pain, who understand the sacrifices one has to make to have a healthy and equal partnership with someone? A relationship that is built on trust and not only lust? That sex, although not unimportant, is just one part of the greater picture and that he might've overestimated the impact it has?  
  
Katniss and Peeta are not sexually active. They love each other anyway. Somehow he doubts they would break up if there was never to be sex. Yes, Katniss did seek him out, with the intention of making Peeta happy. But in what way? The only thing that's not working out for the two of them is sex. Is that what his role is supposed to be in the relationship? Not the missing loved one, but the one who teaches them how to be intimate? A mentor of a different kind? And if, one day, they decide they have enough of him, if desire starts to fade, when he gets older, will they still want him to be around? Say, if Katniss gets pregnant along the way, will he be relegated to become Uncle Gale or thrown out of their house? Did they ever think about that? Or is it really a short term thing, like Katniss admitted she wanted? Will she wait for an opportunity to get rid of him, after she and Peeta overcome their sexual problem?  
  
These thoughts are heavy and deeply unsettling to Gale. His own part in the great romance of Katniss and Peeta. And that he himself made it that way. Maybe not with Katniss, but what he had with Peeta was without a doubt, a curiosity thing. An affair, built on lust and sexual urges. For him, it became more, and during the years in which he had been separated from Peeta, he had built their past into this grand romantic thing. When it might've only been the release of sexual tension and to soothe a hurt of never being good enough for Peeta.

This is the reason why he broke down in the woods. Because Katniss won't stand for it. Because she knows better. She will prevent Peeta from being hurt. And she sees, what he really is doing here. Trying to manipulate them both with the promise of sex. And that's the thing, he's been doing it all along. But perhaps, this is also wrong. It is not only about sex, it cannot be. If it was that, why did he never seek another relationship? A girl in District 2, oh there had been many who were cute enough, wasn't that right? Eloise Whittleton, a pretty redhead in her thirties, working at his mother's orphanage. She was smart and witty, a family girl. She would've been perfect. Or Lisabel Clerkson, who worked for the new government. She was his age and had a sense for adventure in her eyes, and a body that would've made any man weak in his knees. These weren't women you had affairs with, these were women for a relationship. But he couldn't. Why?

And a desire to be with another man? He never felt it. He could appreciate the handsomeness of men, much more than before Peeta, but to have sex with a man that wasn't his Lil' one? It made him uncomfortable and not the slightest bit aroused.  
  
They are slow, much slower than a week ago. Katniss ankle is hurting her, and when they stop for a short break, she hisses when he changes her bandages. She lets him do it anyway, silently watching. He knows this is the moment he is supposed to say something, maybe open up about his fears. She won't hate him for it. She won't think him weak for admitting that he is uncertain. Still, he can't bring himself to talk.  
  
"You really do love him," she states, when he applies the cooling lotion on the red, swollen nub.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It shocked me, you know. Seeing you cry like this. I thought to myself, why is Gale crying? Nothing I said before had such an impact on you. What I said wasn't that hurtful, right? You're not known for being so easily insulted. But now that I thought about it...it is hard to grasp for me still, but you're desperate for this. For him. You really love him and need him. It will destroy you, if I say it's not to be. You've been tense during this week, don't think I hadn't noticed. You weren't obvious. You tried your best to seem uncaring. When that hailstorm hit you finally let go. You didn't think about impressing me anymore. You were honest. With me and yourself. And this morning, when I thought we were _finally_ at that point, the point Peeta had talked about before we left, your armour went up again."  
  
She sighs deeply, looking into the distance.  
  
"I'm going to be straightforward. You see, I obviously enjoyed what we did. And we will go back and tell Peeta all about it. I'm going to tell him that yes, we are friends again and that you can join our live as a couple. I'm sure Peeta will be ecstatic. Maybe he will show us a subdued face, but I know this will make him happy."  
  
A _but_ is coming he can feel it.  
  
"But," she says, "While I do enjoy what we did, and I will, no doubt enjoy what is to come...I realized this morning that you are not Peeta. You are not the one I need. You're here now, and I don't try to force myself to have you here, believe me. We have a lot in common and I'm okay with spending time together, with or without Peeta. Like I said, I am attracted to you and I can't deny that it makes me happy. But when you hold yourself back like that...I think I see that this is going to be a lot more work than any of us, and that includes Peeta, would like to admit. It's not only about you hurting me.I have to see you as an equal partner as well. So everything I say to you, is indeed affecting you. That is clearer to me now. I never thought much about your feelings, in all of this. To be honest, it seemed like you were happy to get into Peeta's pants, first and foremost. And that was what worried me. Because Peeta is so much more than that. I'm...I'm not sure what I'm actually trying to say here. It's just that the relationship between Peeta and me will change, I have no doubt about it. The thing I'm afraid of, is what will it change into."  
  
"Katniss, I..."  
  
She shakes her head.  
  
"Seeing you cry like that made it clear to me that this is more to you than simply," she hesitates, "Simply sex. You might be able to separate sex from love, with all the experience you have. For me, it won't be that easy. Being intimate with you means opening up. Not only physically."  
  
He nods. It all makes sense what she says, more than she can know.  
  
"You're afraid," he states, "Of being with me."  
  
"It's not because I don't trust you," she says, "Maybe it is too much too fast, Gale. This is not a casual thing to me. It's my life. It's Peeta's life, and it is your life. If we're not genuine....if we're not honest about our hurts and pains this can destroy so much...I can't let that happen."  
  
"I'm afraid, too," he answers, "You're right. I was tense, because of my fears. That you wouldn't agree to Peeta's proposal. He made it clear that I...that he doesn't..."  
  
There are tears in his eyes, he notices. Shame creeps up his neck, making him itchy.  
  
"If you say no, I'm to be tossed aside. I get it. I have no right to this. To a relationship with him, and certainly not to a relationship with you. That it would hurt so much, so fucking much, the thought of it all not happening...that's why I cried. I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning. It's...I didn't think of the consequences."  
  
Katniss sighs deeply.  
  
"But that's not all, isn't it?"  
  
"No. You were honest with me, so I'll be honest with you. I never had a relationship, Katniss. I never had anything similar to what you and Peeta have. You both are my guideline in this and if I fuck it up, you guys have to be the ones to tell me. You said you wondered if it was only about the sex for me and I can see why you think that. It's...in a romantic setting, sex is the only thing I'm confident in. What you wanted from me was a favour that involves sex. And once that's done you wanted me gone. My role in this three way cannot only be sexual. I know, that I am to blame for giving the impression that this is all I care about, but really it is the opposite. The other parts....I know so little about. It made me afraid. What can I offer, if not this? I don't have much to give, Katniss. And that's the truth. So I wonder...after all is said and done why would you or Peeta want me to stay? What if you tire of me? I have no idea what's coming and that makes me scared."  
  
Katniss stands up, slowly putting pressure on her ankle and then smiles a little.  
  
"We won't make it until nightfall. But when it's getting dark we will be in an area that is familiar to us. There is a full moon tonight, so we have nothing to worry about."  
  
She puts on her backpack while he tucks the first-aid kit back into his bag. When he turns to her, she is suddenly in his arms.  
  
"I forgot," she says gently and the warmth is like a balm around his heart, "What a kind and goodhearted man you are. I'm unable to take away these fears you have. I'm unable to tell you this will work out, no matter what. The truth is, I have no idea. You and me, we are trying. Let's stop fighting, and give this a try. Not only for Peeta but for us. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe this can be healing, for all three of us."  
  
He leans down and their lips meet, this time for a short but sensual kiss.  
  
"You're wrong," she says after the break apart, "You have a lot to offer besides.... _that_. Peeta believes in you, so I will trust his judgement."  
  
She winks at him, then turns in the direction of the District. He feels lighter, easier, as if a burden has lifted. Katniss didn't tell him everything's going to be alright. She took his worries seriously. And that truth helps much more than any simple reassurance would have done.

* * *

  
  
Darkness has fallen over the District. It is past midnight when they finally arrive at the edge of the Victor's Village.  
  
"Do you think Peeta has waited for us?" Gale asks. He'd rather fall into bed immediately. It has been a long day, and he is exhausted.  
  
Katniss shakes her head, "I told Peeta that we might come back a few days later. I hadn't decided which way to go that evening. He is sleeping in his bed, I guess." She points to Peeta's house.  
  
"Come home with me." He follows her and wonders if she implies that he should sleep in her bed tonight. That seems a bit daring, before even talking with Peeta. He gives a little sigh of relief when she guides him to the guest room in her house.  
  
"Look, Peeta even put clean linen on. Better take a shower, you can't sleep in them like this."  
  
"Now?" he asks, aghast.  
  
"Yes," Katniss looks smug, "We have the luxury of warm water, even at nights. Good night, Gale."  
  
She disappears upstairs and Gale can only shake his head. What a week. What a day. And what will tomorrow bring? He can't wait to find out. After taking a hot shower he snuggles into the warm sheets that smell like lavender. It was good that he showered. And the luxury of a warm bed like this is nothing to be scoffed at.

* * *

  
  
The dream is colourless, soundless, vague. In it there is warmth and a very familiar urge. An urge as old as life itself. The urge to find your partner and to mate. Gale groans in his sleeps and turns around. At least tries to, when a strong arm is holding him back. There is a giggle, a light, female giggle, against his mouth. Kissing his lips. Tasting his tongue.  
  
There is that arm around his waist, holding him in place. And then a hand in his pants. Warm and wet. Then that giggle again. A sweet scent.  
  
"What is that?" someone asks.  
  
"Coconut oil," a deeper voice answers, "It makes everything easier."  
  
"What about the sheets?"  
  
"I'll wash them."  
  
He opens his eyes, slowly waking only to see Katniss in front of him, wearing nothing but underwear. A grey bra and matching panties. She smiles at the way he goggles at her body like a fool.  
  
"Good morning," she says in her wonderful raspy way. "I hope you had a wonderful night."  
  
She wraps her hands under the band of his boxers and pulls them down, dragging them to the foot of the bed. He is naked, naked and hot and warm and Peeta is behind him, working on his cock lazily.  
  
"Katniss?" he asks hesitantly.  
  
What is this? Shouldn't they talk? Shouldn't they talk with Peeta about their week before doing anything they might regret?  
  
She appears again, in his line of vision.  
  
"Let go," she says, "Enjoy. It's not about me. Let Peeta give you that. I will just lie here and watch."  
  
"Hmm," he whimpers, "Lil' one..." He tries to turn, but Peeta's hold on him is like iron. Gentle iron, if that's even possible.  
  
Peeta kisses his neck. Then licks his hairline. Then repeats his kisses.  
  
Gale is confused, still half asleep, bucking into the tunnel that Peeta has formed with his hands, pressing his ass against Peeta's cock. He must be dreaming.  
  
"Shh," Peeta soothes into his neck, "Let go."  
  
"Peeta, please," he wants to..he doesn't know what he wants. Interrupt, mostly. He feels, this is not correct. They are not here for _him_ , both of them. He is here for them, to please them, to make them happy. He is already embarrassed that he left Katniss dissatisfied yesterday. It cannot continue like that. He throws a helpless glance to her, hoping she understands his silent plea, but she only smiles lazily, plays with the edge of her panties, looking down. He follows her gaze and sees Peeta's hand jerking him off. And Katniss is watching. A sudden rush of hotness washes over him, like a tropical ocean tide.  
  
"Wait," he moans, enjoying this way too much. "Talk....we need...to talk...."  
  
"Talking is overrated," Katniss says, "You and I are not good at it. Peeta on the other hand....Peeta, he knows how to talk."  
  
She raises her eyebrow and something passes between her and Peeta, some sort of signal, something he isn't part of. Only the position he is in, keeps that from stinging.  
  
"If you say so," Peeta laughs, and that laugh is like music to Gale's ears.  
  
"Show me," Katniss urges, "Show me how you do it."  
  
"With even pressure," Peeta says, and there is no hesitancy in his voice, making Gale wonder what in earth's name Katniss and Peeta did or talked about last night, that made them decide to come into his bed like this. Peeta had not been in his house, fast asleep, he gets that. He was here, waiting for her. They had planned this.  
  
"Uhm," he moans.  
  
"Looks like he enjoys that," Katniss says, cheeks reddening.  
  
"When he starts with these little sounds here, you can squeeze a little tighter, and do it faster. Easy, really."  
  
"I see." Katniss answers, and Gale decides he must still be dreaming. It's a crazy dream, weirdly realistic, with coconut flavour, and he never had a dream with flavour or smells in them, but a dream. These squishy sounds are not helping, though.  
  
"Hnng," he groans, leaning back and enjoying Peeta's hands on him for the first time in years.  
  
"He looks red," Katniss says, as if he isn't there. "Is that normal?"  
  
"Yup," Peeta confirms, "Gale will come for you now, won't you Gale?"  
  
"Ahh, I, I...." he doesn't answer. Not knowing what part he is playing. Isn't he the one who is supposed to direct this stuff?  
  
"Are you a good boy, Gale? Will you come for Katniss?" Peeta's voice is sweet and lazy, but the pressure from his hand is anything but gentle. It's not the soft, sweet touch of a girl, it's a man's touch, harder, stronger - from a hand that is used to knead dough, or wring necks. Peeta is strong. Stronger than he looks. It is bordering on painful, but Peeta also knows what Gale can take, so he doesn't worry. He only nods.  
  
"Say it," Peeta squeezes, making him jerk.  
  
"m'a good boy," he manages, "Please."  
  
He doesn't get to the second part, about coming for Katniss, because he does cum. Shoots all over the lavender scented sheets, over Peeta's fist, that continues to milk him and onto Katniss grey bra. Some of it even drips into her navel.  
  
"How was that?" Peeta chuckles.  
  
"Not bad," Katniss admits, "Plenty more than back at the lake."  
  
"Mmmh?" Peeta asks into his ear, "What was that? Did you blow your load in front of Katniss at the lake?"  
  
Peeta's hand leaves his cock to play with his pubes.  
  
"Gale?" Katniss grins at him.  
  
"What?" he rambles, "What?"  
  
"Are you okay?" Katniss asks, "Was that okay?"  
  
"I don't know," he answers, honestly, "Am I dreaming?"  
  
"You're not," she says sheepishly, "We wanted to do something for you. Something nice. Before we get into serious business mode."  
  
"Are you mad?" comes Peeta's voice from behind and he turns around. Peeta is drying his hands on a towel, he left on the night stand. He hands it to Katniss who cleans herself and then dabs around Gale's midriff.  
  
There is worry in Peeta's eyes, just a little, but it's there behind the excited sheen of blue.  
  
"I'm not mad," he says quickly, "Just confused. Whose idea was that?"  
  
"Katniss'" Peeta says, "If you didn't like it, please say so. We just thought....she told me..."  
  
"I told him you've been sad yesterday," Katniss crawls to his side throwing the towel to the other end of the room. "I hope you're not sad anymore."  
  
"The opposite. But still confused," he looks at her and back at him, strangely aware that he's lying here, bare naked, limp cock out and they are both in their underwear.  
  
Katniss sighs, "Playtime is over then." She looks at Peeta, who is getting up, "Breakfast?"  
  
"Give me ten minutes," he answers. He leans down and kisses Gale on his forehead "Let's have our serious talk, then. I can see you need some answers."  
  
Skipping away, there is a spring in his step. Katniss is still leaning against him, yawning. "You should take a shower."  
  
"You planned this," he accuses, still utterly bewildered.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not," her tone is suddenly serious, "Have you seen the smile on his face? Have you heard the joy in his voice? This is worth it. And it's true. I don't want to see you sad. Whatever you might believe, Gale, I hate to see you cry."  
  
A tear twinkles at the corner of his eye anyway.  
  
"Oh, come on," she teases, "Go and take your shower."  
  
Standing up, she yells, "You better have fresh cheese buns ready, Peeta. I have a craving, indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the balance between angsty relationship stuff and happy smut wasn't too weird in this one. If you think it was weird, I blame the bunnies.


End file.
